(Disturbing Entry - Tip On Anger Management)
When I was a kid, I was an an avid reader of those bad new coloums or rather some trashy tabloid magazines or those.. newgroups on the internet. I never remembered where I read this. But it got stuck in my head. Because I knew I recall it a few years later, knowing I read this somewhere.
Basically, there's this Japanese school being hunted by a ghost. The ghost was a student of the school, holding his bleeding head, asking... "why, what happened to me?" again and again. Apparently, this ghost was unable to "pass on" to the next world, because the ghost did not know how it died.
How did he die? He was walking to school one day. Some kids were playing baseball. The baseball hit his head. He died instantenously. And his ghost has haunted the school ever since.
And unknowingly to me, this story became a key cornerstone of how I think and act in real life.
People have often asked me why I seem to be rather zen like on the surface, even when I have been hurt, offended or my friends have been dealt a bad hand due to the actions of others. I should do something about it, they say. I could hurt them back, they say. And they are surprised when I don't. I wil rant, I will complain, but I will not do anything to hurt back, as they say.
This is because of the story above. When I want someone to hurt, I want them to hurt without knowing why. To put it aggressively, if a person dies, I want him to die with questions still burning in his mind, not with all answers settled. I believe that if a person knows why he is being harm in a certain way, he will be able to resolve it in a spirtual way, even if his heart hurts.
That is why I wait. That is why I really think revenge is a dish best served cold. It hurts them when they are vulnerable. It hurts them when they least expect it. It hurts them when they have more to lose. And the salt on the wound is the question of why.
And if it hurts you enough to make you remember it for a few years, that means it is a wound that matters. Not a percived insult that you can forget the next day. So why not try waiting? Hurt them than. Because you know by than, that what they did to you matter. And when they get hurt, you can take joy in them feeling lost and not knowing why.
