Announcement
- Everyone has inside of him a piece of good news. The good news is that you don't know how great you can be! How much you can love! What you can accomplish! And what your potential is!
Anne Frank
The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet, alone with the heavens, nature and God. Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be.
Anne Frank
My blog
-
PRAY FOR CHINA
Thursday, Jul 17, 2008 5:33PM / Standard Entry / Members only

-
Breaking Up Is Hard to Do
Thursday, Jul 17, 2008 5:29PM / Standard Entry / Members only
Breaking Up Is Hard to DoLee WilsonBreaking up with someone is usually an awkward, painful and depressing event. Sure, sometimes it can be refreshing. But if we wanted the relationship to work and have come to realize that it won't, it can be a very sad event.
Most of us don't want to hurt the other person when we break up with them. In fact sometimes we allow the relationship to go on longer than we feel we should because we don't want to hurt that person, especially if that person has strong feelings for us that are no longer reciprocated.
So how might a Christian approach this difficult situation? It will come up for the majority of us, even if it is simply us deciding we don't want a third date. So we'd better be prepared. I've been on both sides of this dramatic dance and have compiled this list to help walk you through the process if you decide you must break up with someone.
First ... Make sure you really want to break up. All relationships go through down times and you need to make sure this is not simply a temporary dip. Take your time and do your best to picture your life without being in your current relationship with this person. Decide whether or not the issues that have you wanting to break up are based on current circumstances or if they are permanent issues that cause you to feel the two of you are best served by going your separate ways.
Sleep on your decision.
Second ... If you've gotten past the first part and know that you need to break up with this person, then you need to plan your words and timing carefully. Jesus said, "So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you" (Matthew 7:12). So your top priority needs to be ending your dating status with this person with grace and love, even though it will not be romantic love. You need to break up with them "as you would have them" break up with you. No one wants to be dumped, but if it's going to happen there's certainly some ways that we would rather not experience.
Most of us don't want to hurt the other person when we break up with them. If we do want to hurt someone then we need to step back and evaluate our own spiritual health. It's going to hurt them no matter what, so it's best for us to try to hurt them as little as possible. Now is not the time for vengeance.
The Bible tells us to treat others with care. So that means we don't break up with them in an email or through the voice mail on their cell phone. We should give them respect and care by talking with that person face to face. So choose to care and show compassion toward the person you're about to break up with.
Third ... Sometimes in an effort to show compassion, you might end up leading the other person on. That means that instead of ending the relationship as planned, you are talked into hanging on a little longer because you don't want to hurt the other person. Usually this ends up causing more pain in the long run. So let me encourage you to refer back to the first rule and if you are certain you want to break up then do nothing less. It's like ripping a band aid off. It certainly hurts but isn't prolonging the pain by a timid series of attempts. So make a clean break if that is what you want to do. It's better to allow the other person to start the healing process than to give them false hope.
Tell that person that you care about them but want to break up. Use language that is clear and without loopholes so that they will know what they're facing. Wish them the best. Tell them you'll pray for them and mean it. Then leave. Don't make this a long process, because by dragging out the meeting you only allow them to think they might be able to talk you into staying in the relationship. It's also common that they will want a continual series of last kisses, hugs or other displays of affection. You don't want to hurt them, so you might give in and this will only confuse each of you and cause more pain to the person on the other end of the break up. Words are enough. Keep a cool head, be polite and sensitive and then walk away.
Fourth ...This part is not much easier than the others. You need to set up boundaries that you don't want the other person to cross. If you know the other person still wants to get back together with you, you will need to be considerate enough to them that you don't accidentally give them hope that you also want to reconcile. So for the first several months especially, if you do interact with your ex you'll need to focus on limiting your interactions to small talk. It's important you don't undo the clean break from the third step with your words.
It is my opinion that both people have to be on exactly the same page if a friendship is ever to come from the ended relationship. It's possible, but rare and difficult. So take that part very slowly. Sometimes, if your ex is ever going to emotionally move on, you must limit your friendship. That might sound harsh but it can sometimes be the price paid for a romantic relationship that went bust.
If you have mutual friends it would be wise to be very careful with your words around them because it's likely your ex, if he/she wants to get back together, will be probing them for words you said that might suggest you want them back.
Last ... Life goes on. It does but that doesn't mean you jump into another relationship the day after initiating a break up. Only you will know when the time is right but it's not healthy for you to intentionally start another romantic relationship quickly.
It's also not fair to your ex. For example, it would be very unfair for them to see you kissing another person only a couple of days after you broke up with them. It might cause them to believe you were cheating on them with that person while the two of you were together. That can delay the healing process and cause a tremendous addition of unnecessary pain.
So be fair to yourself and your ex by taking the post breakup stage slowly. Give yourself time to be with friends and time to be emotionally ready for another relationship if that is what you want.
No one wants to break up with someone but it's usually part of life. Don't be reckless with other people's feelings but don't be controlled by them either.
Lee Wilson founded Real Christian Singles and is on staff at Family Dynamics Institute. He co-authored The Real Heaven with Joe Beam.
-
Golden rules for finding & Keeping your life partner by Dov Heller, M.A.
Wednesday, Jul 2, 2008 8:17PM / Standard Entry / Members only
The other i happen to read this nice peice of Article in my mail.So, im gonna share with u All coz i really think it is really informatives for those who r married and singles..
-
What do our dreams mean?
Monday, Jun 30, 2008 5:19PM / Standard Entry / Members only
What do our dreams mean?
Those on the physiology side of the "why we dream" argument see dreams as only nonsense that the brain creates from fragments of images and memory. For centuries, however, people have looked at their dreams as both omens and insights into their own psyches. Many think dreams are full of symbolic messages that may not be clear to us on the surface. But, if we dig deeper and think about what is going on in our lives, we can usually come up with an interpretation that makes sense. Let's look at the most common dream themes and how dream experts interpret them.Common Dream Themes and Their Interpretations* Being naked in public
Most of us have had the dream at some point that we're at school, work or some social event, and we suddenly realize we forgot to put on clothes! Experts say this means:o We're trying to hide something (and without clothes we have a hard time doing that).
o We're not prepared for something, like a presentation or test (and now everyone is going to know -- we're exposed!).If we're naked but no one notices, then the interpretation is that whatever we're afraid of is unfounded. If we don't care that we're naked, the interpretation is that we're comfortable with who we are.* Falling
You're falling, falling, falling... and then you wake up. This is a very common dream and is said to symbolize insecurities and anxiety. Something in your life is essentially out of control and there is nothing you can do to stop it. Another interpretation is that you have a sense of failure about something. Maybe you're not doing well in school or at work and are afraid you're going to be fired or expelled. Again, you feel that you can't control the situation.* Being chased
The ever-popular chase dream can be extremely frightening. What it usually symbolizes is that you're running away from your problems. What that problem is depends on who is chasing you. It may be a problem at work, or it may be something about yourself that you know is destructive. For example, you may be drinking too much, and your dream may be telling you that your drinking is becoming a real problem.* Taking an exam (or forgetting that you have one)
This is another very common dream. You suddenly realize you are supposed to be taking an exam at that very moment. You might be running through the hallways and can't find the classroom. This type of dream can have several variations that have similar meanings. (Maybe your pen won't write, so you can't finish writing your answers.) What experts say this may mean is that you're being scrutinized about something or feel you're being tested -- maybe you're facing a challenge you don't think you're up to. You don't feel prepared or able to hold up to the scrutiny. It may also mean there is something you've neglected that you know needs your attention.* Flying
Many flying dreams are the result of lucid dreaming. Not all flying dreams are, however. Typically, dreaming that you are flying means you are on top of things. You are in control of the things that matter to you. Or, maybe you've just gained a new perspective on things. It may also mean you are strong willed and feel like no one and nothing can defeat you. If you are having problems maintaining your flight, someone or something may be standing in the way of you having control. If you are afraid while flying, you may have challenges that you don't feel up to.* Running, but going nowhere
This theme can also be part of the chasing dream. You're trying to run, but either your legs won't move or you simply aren't going anywhere -- as if you were on a treadmill. According to some, this dream means you have too much on your plate. You're trying to do too many things at once and can't catch up or ever get ahead.* Your teeth falling out
Many people have dreams that they lose all of their teeth. In this dream, they may feel something strange in their mouth and then spit teeth into their hand, eventually losing all of their teeth. According to some, our teeth are related to our sense of power and our ability to communicate. Losing our teeth not only makes us embarrassed by our appearance, which hinders our communications, but it also lessens our power because we may not speak our minds. It's also associated with feelings about our appearance.Recurring Dreams and NightmaresMany people have the same or a similar dream many times, over either a short period of time or their lifetime. Recurring dreams usually mean there is something in your life you've not acknowledged that is causing stress of some sort. The dream repeats because you have not corrected the problem. Another theory is that people who experience recurring dreams have some sort of trauma in their past they are trying to deal with. In this case, the dreams tend to lessen with time.Nightmares are dreams that are so distressing they usually wake us up, at least partially. Nightmares can occur at any age but are seen in children with the most frequency. Nightmares usually cause strong feelings of fear, sadness or anxiety. Their causes are varied. Some medications cause nightmares (or cause them if you discontinue the medication abruptly). Traumatic events also cause nightmares.Treatment for recurring nightmares usually starts with interpreting what is going on in the dream and comparing that with what is happening in the person's life. Then, the person undergoes counseling to address the problems that are presumably causing the nightmare. Some sleep centers offer nightmare therapy and counseling. Another method of treating nightmares is through lucid dreaming. Through lucid dreaming, the dreamer can confront his or her attacker and, in some cases, end the nightmares.Controlling DreamsLucid Dreaming
There is a lot of research being done in dream control, particularly in the areas of lucid dreaming and dream incubation. Lucid dreaming is a learned skill and occurs when you are dreaming, you realize you are dreaming and you are able to then control what happens in your dream -- all while you're still asleep.Being able to control your dreams would be a very cool thing to be able to do, but it is a difficult skill that usually takes special training. It is estimated that fewer than 100,000 people in the United States have the ability to have lucid dreams.They refer to a technique similar to Tholey's reflection method that they call "reality testing." This technique and one called MILD (Mnemonic Induction of Lucid Dreams) have been among the most successful techniques for lucid dreaming.The MILD technique involves similar reminders to the reality testing method but focuses those reminders at night rather than throughout the day and night. MILD begins with telling yourself when you go to bed that you'll remember your dreams. You then focus your attention on recognizing when you are dreaming and remembering that it is a dream. Then, you focus on reentering a recent dream and looking for clues that it is indeed a dream. You imagine what you would like to do within that dream. For example, you may want to fly, so you imagine yourself flying within that dream. You repeat these last two steps (recognizing when you're dreaming and reentering a dream) until you go to sleep. Using this technique, Dr. LaBerge has been able to have lucid dreams at will. Because this type of technique takes such mental training, however, LaBerge is now doing research using external stimuli to induce lucid dreams.While lucid dreaming may just seem like a cool way to enter fantasy land, it also has several applications outside of recreation. According to LaBerge, for instance, lucid dreaming can help in personal development, enhancing self-confidence, overcoming nightmares, improving mental (and perhaps physical) health and facilitating creative problem solving.Lucid dreaming could provide the handicapped and other disadvantaged people with the nearest thing to fulfilling their impossible dreams: paralytics could walk again in their dreams, to say nothing of dancing and flying, and even experience emotionally satisfying erotic fantasies. Such sensorimotor practice could conceivably facilitate recovery from stroke.Finally, lucid dreaming can function as a "world simulator." Just as a flight simulator allows people to learn to fly in a safe environment, lucid dreaming could allow people to learn to live in any imaginable world; to experience and better choose among various possible futures.
-
The Speech By Pulitzer Prize-Winning Author - Anna Quindlen
Friday, Jun 27, 2008 8:02PM / Standard Entry / Members only
Guy I came acrooss this speech and though i would share with u all.This was a speech made by Pulitzer Prize-winning author, Anna Quindlen at
the graduation ceremony of an American university where she was awarded an Honorary PhD.
'I'm a novelist. My work is human nature. Real life is all I know. Don't ever confuse the two, your life and your work. You will walk out of here this afternoon with only one thing that no one else has. There will be hundreds of people out there with your same degree: there will be
thousands of people doing what you want to do for a living. But you will be the only person alive who has sole custody of your life. Your
particular life. Your entire life. Not just your life at a desk, or your life on a bus, or in a car, or at the computer. Not just the life of your mind, but the life of your heart. Not just your bank
accounts but also your soul.
People don't talk about the soul very much anymore. It's so much easier to write a resume than to craft a spirit. But a resume is cold comfort on a winter's night, or when you're sad, or broke, or lonely, or when you've
received your test results and they're not so good.
Here is my resume: I am a good mother to three children. I have tried never to let my work stand in the way of being a good parent. I no longer consider myself the centre of
the universe. I show up. I listen. I try to laugh. I am a good friend to my husband. I have tried to make marriage vows mean what they say. I am a good friend to my friends and they to me.
Without them, there would be nothing to say to you today, because I would be a cardboard cut out. But I call them on the phone, and I meet them for lunch. I would be rotten, at best mediocre at my job if those other things were not true.
You cannot be really first rate at your work if your work is all you are. So here's what I wanted to tell you today: Get a life. A real life, not a manic pursuit of the next promotion, the bigger pay cheque, the larger house. Do you think you'd care so very much aboutthose things if you blew an aneurysm one afternoon, or found a lump in your breast?
Learn to be happy. And think of life as a terminal illness, because if you do, you will live it with joy and passion as it ought to be lived'.
Get a life in which you notice the smell of salt water pushing itself on a breeze at the seaside, a life in which you stop and watch how a red-tailed hawk circles over the water, or the way a baby scowls with concentration
when she tries to pick up a sweet with her thumb and first finger.
Get a life in which you are not alone. Find people you love, and who love you. And remember that love is not leisure, it is work. Pick up the phone.Send an email. Write a letter. Get a life in which you are generous. And realize that life is the best thing ever, and that you have no business taking it for granted. Care so deeply about its goodness that you want to spread it around. Take money you would have spent on beer and give it to charity. Work in a soup kitchen. Be a big brother or sister. All of you want to do well. But if you do not do good too, then doing well will never be enough.
It is so easy to waste our lives, our days, our hours, and our minutes. It is so easy to take for granted the color of our kids' eyes, the way the
melody in a symphony rises and falls and disappears and rises again. It is so easy to exist instead of to live.
I learned to live many years ago. I learned to love the journey, not the destination. I learned that it is not a dress rehearsal, and that today is the only guarantee you get. I learned to look at all the good in the world and try to give some of it back because I believed in it, completely and utterly. And I tried to do that, in part, by telling others what I had learned. By telling them this. Consider the lilies of the field. Look at the fuzz on a baby's ear. Read in the back yard with the sun on your face.
Stats
- hi..Im Lun a Practising Architect from new delhi, India..Krazy about Architecture, Sketching, Fotography and MUzik
- Age: 25
- Gender: Male
- Total visits: 8,791
























