FUNNY KOKES

Hair Remover

My neighbor found out that her dog could hardly hear, so she took it to the veterinarian. The vet found that the problem was hair in the dog’s ears. He cleaned both ears, and the dog could hear fine.

The vet then proceeded to tell the lady that, if she wanted to keep this from recurring, she should go to the pharmacy and get some “Nair” hair remover and rub it in the dog’s ears once a month.

The lady went to the pharmacy and bought some “Nair” hair remover. At the register, the pharmacist told her, “If you’re going to use this under your arms, don’t use deodorant for a few days.” The lady said, “I’m not using it under my arms.”

The pharmacist said, “If you’re using it on your legs, don’t shave for a couple of days.” The lady replied, “I’m not using it on my legs either. If you must know, I’m using it on my schnauzer.”

The pharmacist said, “Stay off your bicycle for about a week.”

Top Ten Rejected Valentines Day Cards

10. I admire your strength, I admire your spunk But the thing I like best, is getting you drunk.

09. Our love will never become cold and hollow Unless, one day, you refuse to swallow.

08. I bought this Valentine’s card at the store In hopes that, later, you’d be my whore.

07. This feels so good, it feels so right I just wish it wasn’t $250 a night.

06. You’re a woman of style, you’re a woman of class Especially when I’m spanking, your big-round-fat ass.

05. Before I met you, my heart was so famished But now I’m fulfilled. . . SO MAKE ME A SAMICH!!!

04. Through all the things that came to pass Our love has grown. . . but so’s your ass.

03. You’re a honey. . . and you’re a cutie I just wished you had J-Lo’s ! “booty”.

02. I don’t wanna be sappy or silly or corny So, right to the point, let’s do it, I’m horny!

01. If you think that hickey looks like a blister You should check out the one that I gave to your sister!

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