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• An LA Dating Story

  Sunday, Oct 25, 2009 8:05AM / Standard Entry

  On Labor Day Weekend, I went to a friend's party where there was a hired palm reader.  I decided to get my palm read for the hell of it, since I had never done it before.  She told me that I am several years behind in my career goals and tend to go around in circles with my decisions about the future.  (True.)  Among other things, she also said that my "soulmate" was nearby, his name started with M or D, and that things would start developing with him in the next 3 weeks.
  
  Well, I don't really believe in soulmates anymore, but it sounded kind of exciting and I kept that in mind.  Two weeks later, a guy who I had met about a month earlier and was definitely my "type" (tall, slim, Asian, cute, kinda shy) asked me out.  I wondered if he could possibly be the guy the palm reader was talking about, if what she said was true.  His name started with an "M" -- Mike. 
  
  On our first date we went out to eat and talked nonstop.  We both grew up really shy, loved travelling to Asia, liked to work out and had similar taste in style, music and food.  The only problem was, he seemed a bit forgetful (asking me questions he had already asked last time he saw me), and had a tendency to interrupt me a lot.
  
  He called or texted me every day, which I liked.  On our next date we went to a Koreatown bbq place where he cooked the meat for me and then we went to a cafe for boba tea. 
  
  He asked me how I met my last ex, and I told him he had been a client of mine at the salon.  Now, my bosses know that these things happen, so there are no rules against seeing clients outside of work.  Also, I was with my ex for 1.5 years, and I hadn't dated since we broke up ... until now.  But Mike got all bitter and sarcastic, saying that my job must be a great way to meet people to date, and maybe he should work at a salon so he could meet girls.   He didn't listen to the any of my explanations and kept up with the mean comments until I just gave up and became quiet.
  
  We said an awkward goodbye and when I got home, he called me saying he was sorry if he had made me feel bad, that he had jumped to conclusions and now understood my situation.  I still felt weird about it but was pleasantly surprised that he would so freely admit to wrongdoing and apologize. 
  
  For our third date, after having sushi and boba, we went to his place to watch tv, but we could not agree on what to watch.  We didn't have the same taste in tv shows at all.  He drank some beer and started to get a bit gropey.  It made me uncomfortable and I kept trying to shield myself when his hands seemed to wander with a mind of their own. 
  
  He came at me with his huge, wet lips for a kiss, putting his hands up the back of my shirt.  I let him kiss me once but pushed his hands away and he got defensive and immature, saying, "Godddddd, forget you!"  Then I told him I was leaving.  He gave me a sad look with his big dark eyes and told me he didn't know why I was leaving, but okay.   
  
  At home, I had a moment where I cried a few tears of frustration.  The fortune teller must have been wrong.  I really didn't think I liked him anymore.  Then he called, of course, apologizing again.  He said he thought I was just playing hard to get when I pushed his hands away and that's why he didn't stop. 
  
  I confronted him on the fact that he asked me the same questions again and again and didn't seem to remember anything I said.  Was he REALLY interested in getting to know me, or not?  Suddenly, he got all sensitive, said he didn't want to talk about it right now and hung up. 
  
  I sat there annoyed, knowing he'd call right back.  Ten minutes later he called back, saying he was sorry for hanging up.  He told me he does want to get to know me, but is just forgetful and does have a problem with listening. 
  
  Over the next few days, we didn't really talk.  I thought, it is not my job to teach a 34-year old man how to listen and how to be mature.  Ridiculous.  But in the back of my head, I wondered... what if the fortune teller was right?  What if Mike is my soulmate and there's no one else out there for me?  Maybe he's just socially awkward, but he seems like he wants to improve himself.  What if he just needs to learn a few things about communication, and maybe I need to learn about patience and tolerance? 
  
  The weekend came, and I called Mike to say hi, and things seemed normal again.  He invited me to meet him and his friends at a club in Hollywood. 
  
  I got there a bit late because of work, and found him talking to a girl he had just met.  She introduced herself to me and we made some small talk.  He had been drinking for several hours by this point and his friends had already left.  We danced for a while, but my legs were tired from standing all day, so we sat down on the couch. 
  
  Mike started hugging me really tight, being slightly gropey again and drunkenly trying to kiss me, but I kept turning away because I just wasn't feeling it.  He kept looking at the girl he had been talking to earlier.  I spotted a friend and went over to say hi, and Mike said he was going to the bathroom.  A few minutes passed and I started to get suspicious.  I looked into the other room, and sure enough, he was dancing with her.  Not only that, but he was also trying to touch her and pull her closer to him!
  
  I now knew what kind of guy he was.  I was actually kind of relieved to know that I could now ditch his stupid ass.  I went to the other part of the club where they were playing hip hop.  I stood around for a while, wondering what to do.  I could go home and feel sorry for myself... but that would just be depressing.
  
  I saw a friendly-looking guy standing at the bar by himself and went over and said hi.  I told him what had just happened and he was sympathetic.  We went to the dance floor and he distracted me from my thoughts by doing some silly dance moves.  We saw Mike in the hallway a few times, probably looking for me, and my new friend used his body to help me hide from him.  Mike texted and called me about 5 times ("Are you mad?  Call me!") and I ignored it. 
  
  My new friend and I hung out till the end of the party, and then went to go eat in San Gabriel.  I thanked him for keeping me company and he said it was his pleasure.  We exchanged Facebook info, and I went home and had a good night's sleep.
  
  In the morning, I got a message from Mike: "Give me a call when you get a chance."  I texted back, "Do me a favor, don't call me again." 
  
  He called again, since he has listening problems, and left a message saying he was sorry and wanted to explain himself.  Did he seriously think I would give him another chance?  I wondered what I could text him that would make him go away once and for all, and settled for, "DON'T F*CKING CALL ME."  And I haven't heard from him since. 
  
  Can I tell you how happy I am that I took it slow and didn't sleep with this fool?  That's the most important lesson I've learned from dating in LA. 
  
  That palm reader was a damn fraud.
  
  

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• Biking

  Saturday, Aug 29, 2009 4:15PM / Standard Entry

  My roommate was given a used mountain bike (Schwinn Ranger) from a friend a while back, it's too tall for her so I get to use it.    I didn't ride bikes for 15 years so I was really shaky and scared at first but now I ride several times a week for fun & exercise.  I ride at night because it's cool outside and there are a lot less cars.  I think I'm actually more visible to cars at night than in the daytime because I have like ten million lights on my bike.  Well, by ten million I mean 3, but one of them is on my front wheel so it looks like a pretty light show. (Not like monkeylectric though... which looks awesome.) 
  
  

  There was so much I didn't know about bikes before.  I had to look up rules of the road, watch youtube videos on how to remove wheels and change tires, and buy a helmet, lights, a lock, and other accessories.  I didn't even know how to use the gears until I tried to go uphill and almost died, so I started experimenting with the shifters.  

  
  

  I usually just ride on the wider streets of San Gabriel Valley, and go 10-15 miles.  Pretty soon I'll have some nice muscular thighs to match my calves, which have gotten bigger as a result of all the walking I did in Asia and ever since then.  But that's nothing compared to one of my coworkers - he's a pro cyclist as well as a hairstylist, and rides 40-90 miles a day!!
  

  
  
  
  

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• Tokyo vid and purikura

  Sunday, Mar 8, 2009 11:52AM / Standard Entry

  Tokyo in 3.5 minutes:
  
  
  I should mention that it is completely possible to eat cheaply in Tokyo during your entire trip.  I often went to their version of "fast food" places, where you pay at a machine outside (there are photos of some of the dishes) and get a ticket with your order on it.   You go give the ticket to the waiter/busboy when you sit at the counter, and he comes back with your meal.  I went to soba, curry, and gyoza places and ate for $6.  I had sushi at those conveyor belt (revolving) sushi places and the sushi cost half as much as it does here!  I ate at McDonald's a few times and also sometimes got food at Am/Pm, where they have some small microwaveable rice or noodle dishes.
  
  I bought a Japanese phrasebook (Lonely Planet) and it's a very useful book that also contains some phrases that you would like to know but wouldn't normally find:
  
  For bar/club situations: "I'm high," "Fat chance!" "Go away!" and "You're a pain in the neck!"
  For the bedroom: "Oh my God!" "Easy tiger!" and "You're just using me for sex."
  For the hair salon:  "Shave it all off!" and "I should never have let you near me!"
  
  I lost some weight on my trip and am now more limber with more energy than before.  In Asia I would walk around until I was exhausted, but instead of going back to the hotel I'd sit for a while, and then I'd get up and keep going for another 2 or 3 hours.  I learned that I'm a lot more resilient than I thought, and I also learned that you can squeeze SO much activity into one day.  I need to keep up with the exercise somehow... maybe I'll take up hiking. 
  
  I asked my friend Leah about those dolled-up guys who stand around outside in Shinjuku, with their hair all done in crazy spikes, eyebrows plucked and dressed like video game characters.  To my utter shock, she told me: they work for the male equivalent to hostess clubs -- HOST clubs!  Yes, there are places where women go to flirt with cute young men, who in turn try and get them to spend lots of money on drinks.  That's so weird to me!!
  
  These purikura machines in Tokyo sometimes make your eyes look bigger!  My eyes are NOT this big even with "big eye" contacts.  Here I am with Wendy and Sam:
  
  
  
  Me and Leah:
  
  
  Leah's story is quite inspiring -- ever since she went on her first trip to Japan at age 14, she knew she wanted to live there.  She thought of every way she could possibly move there, from foreign exchange to English teaching.  She moved there at age 21, ended up achieving her ultimate dream of becoming a singer and a model there, and is now married with a little one on the way.  She absolutely loves it there and says she would never want to live anywhere else. 
  
  It's amazing to me that as a teenager, a person could be so open-minded as to know that her birth country is not necessarily the place for her.  It could be a place across the ocean, where the language is completely different and where she doesn't exactly blend into the crowd.  For her to leave behind life as she knew it, move there by herself, and make her own dreams come true -- it completely amazes me.
  
  All my Asia albums are up with captions, including Tokyo part 3.  http://picasaweb.google.com/liannelin
  
  
  
  
  

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• Taipei video

  Thursday, Mar 5, 2009 7:42PM / Standard Entry

  Damn... right when I think I've conquered my jet lag, I fall asleep at 9pm and wake up at 3am. 
  
  I edited all my Taipei footage down to 4.5 minutes.
  
  
  
  I got off the subway at Taipei Main Station one day and found their old shopping arcade full of practicing hip hop dancer kids.  I was amazed at the extent of this American influence, and the sight brought back a lot of happy memories.  I knew if I'd grown up in Taipei, I would have been right there at Taipei Main Station with those kids. 
  
  The style there is more girly and playful -- patterned tights, ruffles on tops and skirts, bows or rosettes on flats and pom poms dangling from boots.  I was surprised to find that the sexiest tops were thin and loose, slightly hanging off one shoulder, and worn with a belt.  Who knew loose clothes could be so hot??  Designer (looking) jeans, fur-lined hoods on jackets, plaid and layers are in for both male and female.  Also for guys - colorful Bape-inspired hoodies and sneakers. 
  
  There are less "rules" of fashion in Asia.  Lacking clean laundry, I wore a magenta top with a purple jacket, and nobody looked me up and down judgmentally or even pointed!  This was really nice because I remember putting together some pretty "unique" outfits when I was younger, but I had to tone it down and err on the boring side so kids would stop making fun of me. 
  
  Aside from the crazy traffic, I felt extremely safe in Taipei.  One big reason for this: the guys send off very non-threatening vibes.  I could wear a short skirt with tights and feel completely comfortable without stares, leers or the fear of Ass-Grab. 
  
  My Taipei-style outfit:
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

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• Hk vid and sticker pics

  Sunday, Mar 1, 2009 1:35PM / Standard Entry

  Well I'm back in LA and feeling the jet lag.  I miss Taipei.
  
  I came back with 150 short video clips on my FlipCam.  I edited all the Hong Kong footage into 4 minutes!
  
  
  
  Island Beverly was my favorite mall in HK because it was full of little boutique stores that had unique and good quality clothes, not overpriced brand names like at other malls or cheap tacky stuff like you find at the markets.  It has a makeup store, tattoo parlors, nail salons, and some Japanese novelty stores in it too. 
  
  Purikura from HK (taken at the Langham Place mall in Kowloon):
  
  Me and Mark:
  
  
  With my cousins Jesper and Fabia:
  
  (I like these better cropped for some reason.)
  
  Hong Kong is flashy, modern and so very Westernized, but a bit too hectic and definitely small.  It was great meeting distant family and seeing old friends.   The subway (MTR) system is so convenient, clean and easy to use.  It even has a voice that says "Mind the gap" just like in London!" 
  
  Another added plus for me:  Sasa, an amazing beauty supply store, has locations all over the place 
  
  I loved walking around at midnight and feeling completely safe, with stores open and people hanging out.   Almost everyone there is well dressed and/or speaks English.  If you are an American who has never been to Asia, HK is one of the best places to start.
  
  
  
  
  

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