It's been a long, long time AnD. Too long, really.

I can't believe so much time has passed since I last updated -- but then again, my life has taken a drastic shift. I've officially left the world of entertainment and am now a full-fledged academic -- I'm currently a Ph.D candidate in English Literature at Brown University, specializing in twentieth century Asian-American and African American literature. I could get a little more specific about my interests, but AnD isn't exactly a very academic-y place, so I'll just keep the talk a little more accessible.

In any case, some of you who remember me (does anyone remember me? probably not.) may be wondering why this huge change -- to go from entertainment marketing to a lifelong pursuit of intellectualism and books seems like a pretty huge leap.

For me, it's always been there -- my love for literature, for the study of it. I was simply biding my time. Waiting to see how many years of this sexist industry I could handle functioning in, could handle operating within. How long I could allow myself to play these gendered roles, to objectify myself and deploy my sexuality as a source of power, as a form of political leverage, while being hyper conscious of how problematic such a performance essentially was. I exoticized my Americanness, which to the Japanese, was never authentic -- some kind of ruse, a layer of identity that I couldn't truly call my own because of my skin that lacked the whiteness they associated with the West. In many ways, I lived during that time in entertainment, as a construct in constant performance -- and was ever aware of just how artificial, how fabricated that part was.

But even with my discomfort in playing that role, in the nuances of racialized, sexualized performance that suffocated me and made me miserable -- what really did me in was the overt sexism (and racism) that pushed me over the edge.

The men I had to do business with, men of power -- even celebrities (or rather, especially celebrities) -- seemed to think that they had some kind of ownership over women's bodies. I would sit in rooms and watch these female talent uncomfortably withstand the sudden unwanted attention of male hands placed on their bodies without any question of consent -- sexual assaults occurred all around me that I could do nothing about. But when it finally happened to me -- enough was enough. My body was not a commodity, something that could be touched at whim without consent -- for a man to think it was culturally appropriate, acceptable even, to attempt to grab at my chest and other parts of me at a social function -- and then to think that my rejection of him was problematic and retaliate with physical violence (a slap to the back of the head) -- well. No thanks. I'll pass on the life of glamour and jetsetting for the safety of my books and my Ivory Tower.

In the end, I couldn't reconcile my feminism with the bullshit I had to put up with in order to maintain my success within the industry -- which would have required me to continue sitting in these extremely uncomfortable rooms.

The move to academia was one that was always going to happen. I thought that I would have lasted a little longer -- five, ten years, perhaps. I never thought it would have taken only two short years for me to have had enough of this world I once so embraced.

I'll never regret my life in entertainment. It's given me an incredible amount of perspective, an infinite amount of experiences I would never trade for anything else. And most importantly, it's given me tremendous insight into theories of identity, of how we negotiate it, and how it is deployed -- modalities of identity, of social performance, of social text -- that occur transnationally.

I'm not sure if there is a place for me here at AnD, anymore -- since it is such a base for Asian entertainment and media.

We'll see, I suppose.

We'll see.

“We die with the dying:
See, they depart, and we go with them.
We are born with the dead:
See, they return, and bring us with them.
The moment of the rose and the moment of the yew-tree
Are of equal duration.”

- T.S. Eliot, “Little Gidding”

Every time we lose someone we love, a part of us goes with them.

We are stricken by the weight of their loss and the absence that now fills the space that once belonged to them.

It is very difficult for me to accept that the place in the world Jasmine once filled is empty.

But it is not this emptiness I want to focus on, but the memory that now fills it.

Jasmine You was one of the kindest, most gentle, and genuine artists I have ever had the honor of knowing. He was very charming in a very quiet way. There was always an elegance and grace with how he carried himself that transcended the hair, makeup, and elaborate costume which once defined him. He was funny in a witty and very quirky way, and was fascinated with the idea of being unique and different. He seemed to desire and even enjoy breaking and challenging the boundaries of culture, gender, sexuality, and even his own humanity, claiming to be from a country that wasn’t Japan — as well as being an alien.

In many ways, he was very other-worldly with his ideas and talent. And it is this unique quality about him that so many of us cherish and remember.

But what I remember most, above all else, was Jasmine’s desires to share his music with the world. He wanted to bring Versailles to the world, so everyone could experience them. And what I am most glad about is that, in many ways, that dream was realized, and he was able to experience it. I just wish he was able to enjoy his dream a little longer, and that it never had to come to an end.

But I believe if we all dream for him, it doesn’t have to end.

“The moment of the rose and the moment of the yew-tree are of equal duration.”

For as long as we remember him and cherish his memory, we will grieve his passing. But it is not the loss we should remember, but the life it encompasses. And we should celebrate what he was able to bring to us all, and to this world, while he was still here.

Even if he is no longer here with us anymore, his memory — and his music — will live on in the hearts of those who remember him, and those who listen to Versailles, which, to Jasmine, meant everything.

It has been quite some time since I’ve written here.

No, I have not fallen off the face of the earth; I simply I have been very busy working on graduate school application! Yes, you’ve read right: graduate school.

I am currently applying to PhD programs around the country for English Literature, as that is my true passion.

But that is not the reason why I am writing this right now.

Recently, it has been brought to my attention that there are quite a lot of fans who believe that they have been talking to Jrock artists who include: YOSHIKI (X Japan), SUGIZO (LUNA SEA, X Japan), Gackt, Miyavi, the members of Ayabie, the GazettE, and other indie rockers and also Korean rock/pop stars. This list is not limited to only the aforementioned; there are other artists who many fans believe to have been in communication with.

I am going to make something extremely clear as someone who has worked with the Japanese music entertainment industry and personally have dealt with some of these artists and worked with them very closely: the majority of Japanese music artists do not speak, write, or read English. They also would never communicate with fans that they met through the Internet privately using any form of messaging service such as MSN Messenger, AIM, Yahoo!, etc.

The only time an artist will ever communicate with a fan privately is through their official MySpace, Facebook, Alive Not Dead blog, or website.

If your friend “introduces” you to an artist online, chances are, it’s an impersonator.

There are very strict, unspoken rules of conduct of how artists deal with fans. And usually the rule of thumb is that they don’t deal with fans personally. There is a huge separation of “artist” and “fan” in the Japanese music industry, and that is a relationship they try very hard to maintain due to the nature of the business and the level of discretion that one must have within it. The more famous you are, the higher that level of discretion goes.

While it may be difficult to believe that fans actually fall for impostors online, when to some it seems so clearly evident that it is impossible for artists to have communications with fans over the internet, some impostors have extremely sophisticated methods of engaging fans.

I have heard of one particular group of impostors who use MSN Messenger and have been sending fans everything from photos taken with camera phones, scans of magazines that have just come out, to pre-recorded voice messages.

Before I talk about how impossible this is, I’m going to just point out some pretty huge logical issues with all of this. In case people don’t realize, or haven’t even considered, “exclusive photos” can be obtained via access to the artists’ blogs/ameblos/fan club blogs, or the blogs of their staff, who regularly post photos of the artists taken backstage, behind the scenes, etc. Voice messages can easily be made by recording any radio or television interview.

It is very dangerous to believe that just because there are “exclusive photos” being sent, that somehow this is proof — it isn’t!  Moreover, why on earth would an “artist” send anyone scans of a magazine? To do so would be a serious breach of Japanese copyright law; the reproduction of photos is a very serious issue in the Japanese music industry, and image usage is, by far, one of the most tightly regulated mediums of media. The artists themselves do not usually have direct access to the images, and when they do have access to them, it is usually not the scans of the images, but the raw images from the photoshoots which they obtain through their production/management companies, which brings me to another point.

Few artists in the Japanese music industry, especially if they are a major artist, would be able to do their jobs without a management team. The managers are the ones who decide what happens in their careers; the artists do not make the decisions themselves. While they have valuable input in the decision making, generally artists must defer to management decisions, as they are considered employees of the management/production company they are a part of. This means that they must respect the rules that managements set up for them, in terms of how they conduct themselves.

Talking to fans online in a personal capacity, especially foreign fans, is absolutely inappropriate behavior for artists, as it compromises the image that managements work so hard to build; there are certain ideas and images that must be upheld in the eyes of fans, and it is absolutely not allowed for artists to go outside of what has been crafted and presented.

While I know many fans dream of and wish that they can talk to their favorite artist, there are a lot of very dangerous online predators who prey upon impressionable young women. There are also a lot of very malicious fans who get a kick out of manipulating and emotionally controlling other fans for terrible reasons. I do not understand why people think it’s fun to exploit the emotions and trust of others. When this exploitation goes into the realm of sexual exploitation, such as asking these fans for cybersex or to send nude photos, this is not only a serious breach of safety of fans on the Internet, but a crime.

Do not believe that someone you are talking to is the real deal, even if they have “proof” to back it up. Unless you’re in an actual video chat with the artist, who is clearly waving at you through a webcam and saying “hi” in live time, chances are you are not talking to the artist!

The following is a list of screen names that I know, with absolute certainty, are without a doubt, impostors. If you have contacted these impostors,  please immediately cease communication and report them to the proper authorities. If you are someone who has been solicited sexually, please file a report with your local police department immediately, especially if you have proof of this solicitation. As these individuals are engaging in extremely illegal and fraudulent activity and identity theft by posing as someone else, such an act would be considered a form of online sexual solicitation, especially if a minor is concerned.

The list is as follows:

“YOSHIKI” (X Japan) [[email protected]]
“SUGIZO” (LUNA SEA, X Japan) [[email protected]]
Gackt [[email protected]]
Miyavi [[email protected]]
DJ Sisen [[email protected]]
Chihiro [[email protected]]
Ruki (the GazettE) [[email protected]]
Aoi (the GazettE) [[email protected]]
Uruha (the GazettE) [[email protected]]
Reita (the GazettE) [[email protected]]
Kai (the GazettE) [[email protected]]
Aoi (Ayabie) [[email protected]]
Intetsu (Ayabie) [[email protected]]
Kenzo (Ayabie) [[email protected]]
Yumehito (Ayabie) [[email protected]]
Takehito (Ayabie) [[email protected]])
Genki (VanessA) [[email protected] / [email protected]]
Ryuuto (Clearveil) [[email protected]]
Saki (Clearveil) [[email protected]])
Yuu (LiZ) [[email protected]]
Victor (LiZ) [[email protected]])
Bou (ex-An Cafe) [[email protected]]
Maya (LM.C) [[email protected]]
D [[email protected]]

Others impersonated include:

Noh “Rose” Minwoo (ex-the TraX/24/7) [[email protected] / http://www.myspace.com/roseminwoo]
Yunho (Dong Bang Shin Gi/To Ho Shin Ki) [[email protected]]
Mikki Murder [[email protected]]
Agatsuma Saori [[email protected]]
Kasai Yoh [[email protected]]

All of the above belong to a “network” of “artists” who claim to be “friends” with one another and introduce “each other” to unknowing, impressionable fans, who then turn around and introduce other fans to these “celebrities.”

It is a very elaborate, very sophisticated setup, and also very dangerous and illegal.

For those of you who happen to believe in these impostors, and are still not sure whether or not you should believe the word of someone who’s worked in the industry for years and has enough evidence of her work to speak for itself, even if we were to completely discredit all the logical inconsistencies of the fact that 1.) the majority of the people on the list above, with the exception of the members of S.K.I.N. (YOSHIKI, SUGIZO, Gackt, Miyavi), do not speak English, and 2.) there are far too many industry regulations for artists to ever possibly engage with such behavīor online with fans, let me just point something out that I personally know to be true, and is also a public fact (though you’ll have to dig around on his blog to find it!):

SUGIZO does not know how to, nor does he use MSN Messenger or any kind of chat program. In fact, his only modes of communication online are MySpace and e-mail, as well as the program, Second Life. The very fact that “SUGIZO” is a part of this little ring of impostors is enough proof alone, even if all of the above that I’ve written were not taken into consideration at all.  SUGIZO is too busy to even respond to e-mails sent to him by his business colleagues and personal friends. So why on earth would he spend any of what little free time he has chatting with fans online who he’s never even met in person?

Yeah, that’s what I thought.

I would be happy to answer any questions anyone has, and am also open to editing this post with more known impostors in order to raise awareness about this issue. While I have not been very actively involved in the music industry in the past half year, fans are still, and always will be, very important to me. I will not simply sit here and act as though I do not know that this is going on when I know that fans are being exploited and taken advantage of in very terrible, malicious, dangerous, and illegal ways.

Those of you who would like to contact me privately can e-mail me at [email protected] or [email protected].

Just for the record, in case none of you seem to realize, I am a human being capable of cognitive reasoning, someone who actually has a brain between my ears that I actually happen to use.

I am not a sex toy.

I don't appreciate comments on my guestbook that suggest that, either.

The objectification and sexualization of women is something that I know we women have to deal with every day; very few of us actually choose to actively fight against it. Some of us actually think it's okay to be regarded as second class to men, to be objectified in this manner.

I find it disgraceful and it leaves an incredibly bad taste in my mouth. I don't appreciate those kind of sentiments, and will delete every and any comment that relegates me into that category.

Women as a whole exist to serve a purpose far greater than being an aggregation of body parts for male sexual gratification, and anyone who believes otherwise, male or female, can kindly remove themselves from reading this blog.

They say “image is everything” in the world of entertainment. In Japan, no other statement holds more true. Managements, record labels, and publicity companies go to extreme lengths to ensure their artists’ meticulously sculpted images are the only thing the public ever sees. Rock stars, pop idols, actors and actresses alike are all very careful in what they choose to share with the public. Very rarely will you see candid private shots of artists in their private time posted on the internet by someone else. Artists will sometimes share self-taken photos of themselves with their fan bases on their blogs, but if you’re considered “kankeisha” (関係者) or “authorized person,” a silent decree dominates your status: upholding privacy.

Kankeisha is a loose term that describes anyone who has anything to do with the artist — whether you are management, industry, press, or just a guest, you are considered “kankeisha.”  If you happen to fall in this ambiguous category, it is understood that you are someone who will also abide by the rules of being kankeisha. These rules include:

1. No screaming, cheering, racous applause, arm-waving, performing furi, jumping, or anything else that fans do during concerts. You are there to enjoy the show as a guest, not act as a fan. Kankeisha are not fans; as such, they must act accordingly. Usually, kankeisha stay seated during the show if they can see the stage; oftentimes, entire sections in the audience are blocked off as kankeisha seats for that very reason.

2.  No hogging of the artist’s time during uchiage or aisatsu. Uchiage and aisatsu are the after show meet-and-greet with the artist. The only difference between them is that uchiage involves food or drinks being served to guests who have one toast with the artist before greeting them, whereas aisatsu is strictly a meet-and-greet. When taking place in a large room with all the kankeisha at once, usually guests only spend a few minutes talking with the artist. To take up too much of their time is very rude, as they have to greet all the kankeisha individually.

3. Do not talk about what you know about the artist. If there is anything you know about the artist which is not public information, even if it involves something as seemingly mundane like the artist’s hobbies, you absolutely can NOT divulge it publicly.

Of all rules to remember, however, one of the most important is:

4. Never EVER post any pictures or video of you with the artist anywhere public where fans might be able to get a hold of it, meaning blogs and any form of social networking (MySpace, Facebook, etc.) are all off limits, unless they’re private/friends only. It is okay to share pictures or video privately with friends, but displaying it anywhere public is absolutely not allowed — especially if you’re female and the artist is male. (Or conversely, if you’re male and the artist is female.)

All kankeisha are expected to act the part and to follow the rules. Any violation of the rules can result in kankeisha status being revoked and access to the artist taken away — even if you are press or good personal friends with the artist. Kankeisha privileges are only just that — privileges, not rights. In this industry, there is nothing more important than protecting the artist and keeping their best interests in mind. Image is everything, after all.