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  • "Things are not always what they seem;
    The first appearance deceives many.
    The intelligence of a few, perceives what has been carefully hidden".

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  • Doctor, are you sure?

    Tuesday, Jun 29, 2010 7:02PM / Members only

    Call me weird, but:

    There was a time when I was 16, I had difficulty breathing, I went to a doctor & said that it might just be a heart burn, but the next day after, It was still painful for me to breathe & thought I might have a heart problem, so decided to go to a cardiologist, & when she said that the other doctor might be right, that it might just be a heart burn, I was really disappointed. I wanted to hear something more (yes, I'm odd). Went to consult my uncle's wife who is a doctor, it turns out that it wasn't a heart burn but was an allergic reaction from a medicine. That diagnose was far more fine with me than knowing  I went through all that for just a heart burn.
    2weeks ago I had the worst headache of my life, it was too painful that it brought me to tears & this is from someone who is used to headaches since my younger years. Had a blood test & the result  was okay, & all this time I thought I was anemic; another disappointment (I know, i know! I should be glad that I'm not critically sick.). My cousin who also suffers from unexplained headaches & dizziness told me not to see an E.N.T. for they would just gonna say that it might be a vertigo, & recommended me to her neurologist . And there I was, he said  that I'm too young to have complications. My exam went well, so  yup, it was a migraine attack & told me to avoid chocolates. =(

    My neurologist was also the second person this month who told me that perhaps I should try to be a flight attendant, hahaha!!  It was kinda funny, because I'm kinda thinking about how it's like to be one, & out of the blue he just it blurted out. I often get funny comments from some doctors I visited, my ophthalmologist before (who gave me a huge discount on my glasses without me asking him to) asked if I used to participate on some school beauty contests or whatever you call it back in highschool & college, since he thought that I was probably our class' muse back then, lol! which I told him that I'm not the 'home coming queen' type & I'm not into that kind of stuff, hehe..

    Anyway, my disappointments weren't because of thinking that the doctors were wrong, I know they could be right. And It's not that I want to have a life-threatening disease, but I don't like going to a doctor hearing the same thing that I have already diagnosed myself with, like a migraine or I'm stressed or something.  Am I the only who feels that way? visiting a doctor expecting to hear something more other than just a simple problem that can be cured with just a paracetamol?

      324 views Share    

  • Drive Safely

    Monday, May 3, 2010 8:52AM / Members only

    Last week, my youngest brother & 14 other people were in a car accident.
    I am grateful to God that although I feel that most of my prayers were left unanswered, He was actually listening to this one; "Protect my family, keep them away from harm, keep them safe."
    My brother was very fortunate that he only suffered minor injuries & 13 of those who got involved didn't suffer any major injuries as well, except for an old lady who is still under observation..

    (R.I.P. Chevy)

    When this happened, I actually didn't panic, it's kinda weird though. Just like 14 yrs ago when I woke up with our bedroom's ceiling's on fire, I just sat there at my bed, waiting for my dad to put out the fire .
    Although I did spent most of the night pissed off at my other younger brother & sister for not informing us immediately about my brother's accident .
    However, as of now, we are just happy that he's okay & the other 14.

    Some things do happen for a reason & what happened that night might be one of them. Lesson learned that we should all be very cautious with our actions. I just do hope that everything gets settled amicably.

    And I realized that no matter what kind of crap you are going through, when something like this happened, that burden you were carrying would mean nothing; it becomes the least of your priority.

      242 views Share    

  • Not what it used to be

    Tuesday, Mar 30, 2010 8:00PM / Members only

    First of all, thank you to those who send their love on my birthday, I appreciate it!

    Hmmm... I haven't been around AnD lately. Have visited this site less often many months ago. This site isn't as it used to be.
    Lots of fakers & weird people have flocked here on AnD. People would just sign up as members to hook up, collect friends, trying to solicit flattery, & being a huge ASSHOLE!!
    Notice how the other members here isn't even a fan of a single AnD artist?

    What also bothers me is that I even have fans here who only have me on their list, what's up with that??

    I haven't had any argument with any member here, except this one girl who I think is a mental runaway, this was around May last year. I'm certain she's delusional because I'm not the only one who got really pissed off with her. She even sent me a private message stating that I was rude to her (WTF!), claiming that she's so "God fearing".

    Reported her to the admin & I think that caused the cancellation of her account. But she created a new one & saw her on my visitors list months ago (she changed her username but I'm no fool not to know that it's her).

    And what is it with others trying to get people who doesn't even know them to check on their albums? just like this recent dude on my guestbook.

    Geez! it's so enticing to be mean!

      757 views Share    

  • Tasted like tobacco

    Friday, Feb 12, 2010 9:00PM / Members only


    I’ve been watching a lot of American Series lately, I just finished watching the season2 of Damages.

    It’s been a long time since I've watch an Asian Series, so I thought that I should watch again the final episode of a series that got me into JDoramas!

    Majo No Jouken (Forbidden Love)

    It’s an 11 years old series. A story between a 26-years-old teacher who fell in love with her 17-years-old student. What made this drama interesting is that in real life, this was also the age of both the actors who played the character Michi Hirose (Nanako Matsushima) & Hikaru Kurosawa (Hideaki Takizawa) during that time.

    "The stars...the light that we see is light from many years before. Years from now, maybe our escapade will become a funny story... When I become an adult, maybe everyone will forgive me, if that's true, then I wish time would move faster."

    This is my favorite scene, can’t find a shorter version of this clip, so just wait at 3:32 & watch it until the end!


    Most of those who’ve watch this believed that Michi had finally woke up. My own interpretation basing on Hikaru’s reaction when he saw her is: at the moment Michi moved her fingers, we are already inside Hikaru’s dream, where his hope for Michi to recover has finally happened, they are finally free & can be together without anyone condemning their relationship.

    Nothing great about the story though. If you think about it, both Hikaru & Michi’s character are a bit annoying, stupid even! Falling in love with a minor is a big NO! But what the heck, it’s fiction. It is made for you to sympathize with them.

    What also made this series even more endearing is its soundtrack! I love the violin version of Utada’ Hikaru’s “First Love”!

      554 views Share    

  • Melancolía 2

    Wednesday, Dec 23, 2009 11:03PM / Members only



    (I don't own this video, but I can't resist not to post it here; It's so beautifully done.)

    “Just as no matter how hard you try to keep it away...

    Despair will attack you again and again.

    In the same manner hope will return to you.

    Again and again...”

    “I started crying..

    It was the first time in my life that I felt forgiven.

    Like I was saved.

    Like the frozen snow that's melted by spring,

    the tears wouldn't stop.”


      1,613 views Share    

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My guestbook More comments >

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  • posted on Wednesday, Apr 9, 2014 1:32AM  [Report]
    how have you been, Hana chan.
    am back to AnD after hard work years.
    BTW am crazy about Mikami HIroshi, after I met him in person for a work.
    check out his new drama, if you have time: )
    take care.

    Ashita mama ga inai
  • posted on Sunday, May 19, 2013 11:00AM  [Report]
    Does Juhana know / she channels echoes beauties / beyond little worlds?
  • posted on Wednesday, Dec 26, 2012 4:52AM  [Report]
    Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
  • posted on Monday, Sep 24, 2012 9:17PM  [Report]
    have been away from AnD... but am OK!! how about you? Anything new?
  • posted on Monday, Sep 17, 2012 1:29AM  [Report]
    just dropping by to say Hi Hana chan!
  • posted on Saturday, Jul 21, 2012 10:46PM  [Report]
    lol, just once in a blue moon blogging?? kekekekke... i know right? miss the old bunch
  • posted on Sunday, Jun 24, 2012 4:52PM  [Report]
    are we still around?!
  • Official artist 
    posted on Saturday, Mar 24, 2012 5:46PM  [Report]
    I hope that you are having a Wonderful B'day !!
  • posted on Friday, Mar 23, 2012 8:55AM  [Report]
    Have a great birthday! Where have you been? How are you doing?
  • posted on Friday, Feb 10, 2012 2:49PM  [Report]
    hey there! Was hoping we could be friends, we're new to alivenotdead :)
  • posted on Saturday, Jul 23, 2011 2:41AM  [Report]
    HI,this is DevilAnima,Cause i Forget my old blog password, so i get the new one, and i saw my old Alivenotdead blog,you told me you are X JAPAN fans too,So,I hope can make friend with you!!!
  • posted on Monday, Jun 27, 2011 12:26AM  [Report]
    thanks for your comment. Goya is from Okinawa, southern islands in Japan, so i thought it was familiar to people in south-west Asia. dont know where you are living though. haha
    am not a fan of Lady Gaga, too. when she got a   letter of appreciation from jp government, she said that she didnt come to japan to get a letter. thats cool. i dont know the reason why the goverment had such an idea for her :-p
  • posted on Wednesday, Jun 22, 2011 12:41AM  [Report]
    haha yeah, me too, from time to time, but rarely do much on it anymore. I dont know where the oldies are anymore
  • posted on Tuesday, Jun 21, 2011 5:54PM  [Report]
    hey wow, u are still around!! =P
  • posted on Thursday, Apr 21, 2011 1:26AM  [Report]
    yes new a age,,,
    sweet a year
  • posted on Tuesday, Apr 19, 2011 5:04PM  [Report]
    you have new age,,
    happy and health a year to you

  • posted on Thursday, Mar 24, 2011 12:45PM  [Report]
    Long time no see,how's everything?
    I hope u are fine..
    Today is your lovely day,hehe..
    Happy birthday !!
    May happiness be with u forever ^^
  • posted on Tuesday, Mar 22, 2011 9:54AM  [Report]
    Have a Happy Birthday!
    Haven't seen you around too much...
  • posted on Sunday, Mar 20, 2011 6:17PM  [Report]
    happy birthday
  • posted on Saturday, Mar 19, 2011 7:35PM  [Report]
    Happy birthday in advance, hana chan : )
    the toll has been growing... am have been Ok in shibuya with much food and electricity. but worry about victims at this moment.
  • More comments >


  • "I am a little world made cunningly of elements, and an angelic sprite." ...
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