A Day on the Set of "Mummy 3....."

....according to me, anyways!  Haha!  Enjoy!  Most of these pics have their ownership shown on the photos or are production stills.  None of them belong to me, just so we're clear on that point!    Remember, the following little tale is all in fun!!! 

"COUNTDOWN TO LUNCH!!!"

...somewhere on a distant set in China, our action-hero star, Jet Li, contemplates the recently received information about the limited choices for the day's lunch.  Let's join him now in dressing and make-up as he is outfitted as Emperor Han....

A lowly assistant to Jet Li, off camera, lists the lunch choices.  Jet ponders each selection carefully.

Lowly Assistant:  "Today they're serving all-you-can-eat Cajun-style liver and onions.  Wasn't yesterday the Italian-style liver and onions?  Oh, well.  Ah, they have another entree:  Lightly-seered tripe with lima beans...sounds nasty.  Hey, this sounds good!  12 oz. T-Bone Steak, baked potato with all the trimmngs, and salad with your choice of dressing!  That's the first real food this dump, er, production has listed.  Oh...it says there's only ONE of these left.  That's going to be difficult...I wonder who'll get it?"

Jet thoughtfully wonders to himself, "What is tripe anyway?"

Jet:  "I don't want to be stuck with liver and onions of any kind again!  What should I do?  I REALLY want that steak!  Hmmm..."

Jet:  "That's it.  I can't stand the thought of another day of liver and onions!  That's all I've had for over a week since I started this movie!  I must go see Rob."

Jet:  "Rob, I don't want to go all Jackie Chan on you, but why do we have an abundance of liver and onions every day?  I'm sick of it!  I want real food!"

Rob:  "Well, Jet!  If you eat your liver and onions every day, you'll be as tall as Brendan!"

Jet storms furiously back to make-up before starting his production day, grumbling a mantra in order to try to calm himself down.

Meanwhile elsewhere in the studio, we see Michelle Yeoh who plays Zi Yuan.  However, she seems to be on another errand not associate with her acting.  Let's listen in....

Michelle:  "Rob is such a cheap son of a.....I can't believe I have to cover so many other peoples' jobs!  Lighting assistant, production assistant, action director assistant!  And now he has me making more copies of the scrīpt!  This is an outrage!  I'm an actress!!!  Grrr...that's it.  I've had it.  I'm gonna tell Rob off.  I haven't even eaten lunch since I've been here...not that there's much point.  Liver and onions every day?  Sheesh....I'm going after that steak!"

The morning wears on and production seems to be progressing nicely.  Jet, high atop a massive statue, acts the part of Emperor Han as he readies his army of the undead to take over the world.

The take, however, is disrupted by the "lunch bell," a massive ancient bell that is sounded by Shaolin monks (they're actually caterers hired by the director, Rob Cohen, who wants to keep an authentic and ancient quality on and off the set) at precisily 11:55am, notifying everybody associated with movie making that lunch will be served in 5 minutes.  The chaotic actions of the extras on the set ruin the current take as they quickly disband and run toward the yurts (yurts, another Cohen authentic addition, are light round tents of skin or canvas stretched over a lattice framework used by Mongolian tribes) in the distant where their lunches are waiting to be served to them by the caterers.

A fiercly determined Jet Li quickly slides down the statue, jumps on his horse Mr. Jingles, draws his sword and makes for the lunch yurts determined to get the one and only steak dinner.

Jet:  "Get out of my way!  Look out!  Mr. Jingles will run you over if you don't look out!  Move it!!!"

Jet:  "Come on, Mr. Jingles!  Let's go!!!"

Jet has a lot of ground to cover, but on the sure-footed Mr. Jingles, he streaks past the extras who play his army and soon he is in the lead.

Elsewhere, the Second Unit is filming an indoor scene when the cast and crew hear the lunch bell.  Lead actor Brendan Fraser who plays the movie's explorer/action hero Rick O'Connell, is currently performing his close-up.

Brendan:  "What do you mean I woke up another mummy?"  *DONG*  "Hey, lunch!  Gotta go!"

Brendan's words are barely registered by the crew when he disappears off-set.

First extra in background to Brendan:  "Dude!  Where are you going?  And why did you change out of your tux?"

Brendan:  "You heard the bell!  It's lunch time!  Gotta grab some yummy liver and onions!!!  And I don't wanna mess up the Armani!"  Silently Brendan mutters to himself, "But I'm going after that steak, suckers!"

Second extra in background to Brendan:  "Wait for us!  Dude!  Wait for us!!!"

In a quick-thinking and quick outfit-changing moment, Brendan turns, draws his six-shooters and shoots the extras. 

Brendan:  "Oh, I don't think so."

Brendan:  "What's this?"

Confronted by a snow storm on his way to the lunch yurts, Brendan, in a flash, changes outfits again and then notices a figure in the distance riding a horse.  This figure appears to be heading toward the lunch yurts!  Because his field binoculars are in yet another outfit, Brendan quickly changes out of his snow gear and into his binocular-viewing gear.  He cautiously approaches the wall, binoculars in hand...

Brendan:  "It's Jet!  Why is he in a hurry for lunch?  I know he hates liver and onions.  And he's so humble that he always lets everybody else eat first...."

Jet, passing the terra cotta warriors set up on a different part of the massive outdoor set, suddenly reins in Mr. Jingles. 

Jet:  "No!  It can't be!!!  It's Michelle and she looks like she wants to fight me!" 

Jet quickly dismounts Mr. Jingles and wields his unsheathed broadsword in a defensive pose.  Swiftly, Michelle attacks him.  Just as swiftly, Jet blocks her attack.

Michelle:  "Damn you, Jet!  I...am...going...to...get...that...steak!!!"

Jet:  "Oh no you won't!!!"

And with a lightening quick cross-slice of his broadsword, Michelle is cut in half.  Jet turns, mounts Mr. Jingles, and begins to cover the remaining distance to the lunch yurts.  Brendan, witnessing the slaughter, is momentarily stunned.

Brendan:  "I am momentarily stunned by what I have just witnessed!  What is he doing?  Is he going after the steak?"

Catching a glint of sunlight reflecting off of Brendan's binoculars as Jet approaches the lunch yurts, Jet reins in Mr. Jingles.

Jet:  "Brendan!  No!  It's not possible!!!  There can only be one steak dinner and it's for me!  There can be only one and I WILL BE THE ONE!  Wait a minute...why does that sound familiar?"

Brendan looks up from the inside of the lunch yurt counter where he is about to be the first person to be served his choice of lunch.  Jet enters and suddenly the tension in the yurt is as thick as the fog in London.

Brendan:  "Hey, buddie.  What's up?"

Jet, striding quickly in his special lunch outfit (the whole robe is actually a full-size fancy bib), approaches Brendan slowly while pondering what he's going to say.

Jet, to himself:  "Think!  Think think think....what am I going to say to him?  Does he know about there only being one steak dinner???"

Outloud, he addresses Brendan in a soothing voice...

Jet:  "Brendan.  I am surprised to see you here so soon.  I guess the Cajun-style liver and onions special appeals to you?  Don't worry.  I heard it was all-you-can-eat.  I'm sure there will be plenty, even for a big guy like yourself."

Brendan:  "Who said anything about liver and onions?  I'm planning on having the steak."

Jet, with a stunning CGI fireball effect, cooly responds to Brendan.  Two troughs errupt in flames behind Jet as the fireball grows while Jet talks.

Jet:  "Brendan.  You are probably not aware of my special talent.  A talent I developed secretly in the days after my final wushu competition when I was a teen.  I've spent many years perfecting my secret weapon.  And now, Brendan, you will be the first to see it unleashed!  Why?  I always get what I want and I WANT that steak dinner!"

Using the CGI flame-ball as a diversion, Jet delivers a decisive knock-out kick to the unsuspecting head of Brendan Fraser.  The head, freed of its body, rolls helplessly and lifelessly to one of the nearby troughs of fire.  Brendan's body crumples to the floor.

Jet:  "Sorry, buddie.  And now for my prize."

Jet strides over to the stunned lunch yurt caterers. 

Jet:  "I want the steak dinner." 

Upon hearing Jet's request, one of the caterers breaks from his trance and whispers, "The steak dinner was already claimed by somebody else."

Jet, lowering his head in despair:  "Damn.  Liver and onions...AGAIN."

A short distance away in another part of the vast movie set, the lone figure of Luke Ford, who plays Alex O'Connell, creeps silently through the terra cotta warriors.  He is carrying a small and precious bundle.  Nervously he glances about as he makes his way cautiously to the middle of warriors.  Soon, he sees a familiar human figure and Luke carefully makes his way to him.

Luke:  "Your steak dinner, Mr. Cohen!"

Rob:  "Thanks, Luke!  You'll be my go-to guy for any other big movie project that's green-lighted in the future!  Great kid.  Now, go!" 

...and with a slight impish yet grateful smile, Luke disappears through the sea of terra cotta warriors.  

Chuckling to himself, Rob mutters, "Oh, yeah, it's good to be the director...even if I have to hide in the Terra Cotta Warriors so Jet won't find me while I eat my steak lunch!"   

CATCH THE MOVIE IN THEATERS NEAR YOU ON AUGUST 1ST, 2008!!!