Sunday morning. Nice day. Get myself home and clean up before heading for brunch. After putting the bowl of noodles into my stomach, left for my friend's house for lunch. Even the food I took has not even digested, and I'm heading for another round. She must be trying to feed me fat.

Went to get my hair done in my fav salon. Gonna perm my hair in another 2 months. Give me time to enjoy my straight hair. I love my short hair a lot. Minus the bad hair day I got when it start to get unruly. Tame it babeh! I'm always running out of time. Need to get to the dinner in an hour. Make up, not done. Dress, not done. Wth! My falsies are must!!!

Meeting up with my ol' friends from Sundance. Beautiful girls they turn out to be. Always looking good. Bee was there. Leong was there. Derrick was there. Charmaine was there. Chinda was there. Cristy was there. I missssssss them so much. Have not been seeing them for years. Bee's baby was so adorable and she was willing to take a pix with me adding on her killer smile!

I was really happy that night. So I started with red wine. Then the beers came in. Free booze! Love the bottoms up theory! If anyone could spend their $$ on beers for me, I would.... cheesy! Had a great night. Trying to walk on a straight line while walking to my car. Lucky to have the restaurant near to my place. Feels good. Damn me! Alcoholic bitch!

Lately I've been questioning my feelings. Someone seems to be going after me. I kinda like this person but I have to analyse the whole situation as I'm afraid to commit into a new relationship that fast. I just love my life and never wanna change for now. Cool to be single. Am I falling in love...again? Go figure!

Song of the day: Fallin' For You

I don't know but...
I think I maybe
fallin' for you
Dropping so quickly
Maybe I should
keep this to myself

Waiting 'til I..
know you better
I am trying..
Not to tell you..
But I want to..

I'm scared of what you'll say
So I'm hiding..
what I'm feeeling..
But I'm tired of
Holding this inside my head

I've been spending all my..time
Just thinking about ya
I don't know what to do
I think I'm fallin' for you

I've been waiting all my.. life
and now i found ya
I dont know what to do
I think I'm falling for you...
I'm falling for you...

As I'm standing here
And you hold my hand
Pull me towards you
and we start to dance

All around us
I see nobody
Here in silence
It's juusst
you and me

I'm trying..
Not to tell you..
But I want to..

I'm scared of what you'll say
So I'm hiding..
what I'm feeeling...
But I'm tired of
Holding this inside my head

I've been spending all my.. time
Just thinking about ya
I dont know what to do
I think i'm fallin' for you

I've been waiting all my.. life
And now I found ya
I dont know what to do
I think I'm fallin' for you...
I'm fallin' for you...

Ooh, I just can't take it..
My heart is racing..
Emotions keep spinning out...

I've been spending all my.. time
just thinking about ya
I dont know what to do
I think I'm fallin' for you

I've been waiting all my..life
and now I found ya
I dont know what to do
I think I'm fallin' for you...
I'm fallin' for you...

I think I'm fallin' for you
I can't stop thinking about it
I want you all around me
And now I just can't hide it
I think i'm fallin' for you
I can't stop thinking about it
I want you all around me
And now I just can't hide it
I think I'm fallin' for you...
I'm fallin' for you...

Ooohhh
Ooh no no
Oooooohhhhh

Oooh, I'm falling' for ya

It's time for photos!

 Going for McDonalds later. Craving for burgers, fries and Sundae Choc!

It's been a tiring day today. Never been home since I left work. I think I smell bad too. We had on site training today. Visited all of our warehouse location today. Had lunch with boss and colleagues as well. Tried to build up a relationship with them. Easier to work in the future.

Just came home not long ago. Feeling a lil' tipsy now while doing this blog. The world is twisting in my mind. I miss this feeling a lot. Where I don't need to think that much. Just being happy and stress free. I feel so disappointed with my love life.  All I ever want is a simple love. Why is it so hard? Why must I go through all the unhappy roads?

God must have been testing with my patient all these while. I just want normal life. Why can't YOU just grant me one? I believe that everyone has a karma. Maybe it's just mine that I don't go through a smooth love life. Sometimes I really feel fed up. I'm so tired with all the relationship. All I ever wanted is someone to care and love me, that's it. I don't wish that someone to be very rich. Just security, all I ever ask for.

When I trust a person too much, I always been betrayed. Why? In a relationship, there must be a trust. It's transparent. I failed eventhough I practice that. Why? I don't know. Can anyone tell me? So what if I said I wanna work oversea? If our love is damn strong, nothing will ever come between us. Guess mine is not strong enough even a trust is there. I always trust the person I love. I think that's a stupid action. I shouldn't have. For me, when I believe in a person, I will never doubt. Coz I know if I have a doubt, it's useless to maintain. That's why I always say the truth. Coz I want to be transparent. I don't wanna hide.

I'm still the Jennifer you know. Just a lil' stronger person you've known. I don't wanna give a fuck anymore. I wanna be straight forward. I love you, I really mean it. If I don't, I won't waste your time. It's all about YES or NO. Not in between. I'm lil' emotional tonight. hehe... I'm alright. I take care of myself. I'm independent woman. I'm iron lady. No problem with these people who doesn't appreciate me. I appreciate myself. I love myself. I have no problem in being Jennifer. My friend told me 2 points (supposedly to be 3 points). 1) Don’t go back to old love. 2) Don’t find a new love to substitute the old one. 3) She has forgotten.

I just feel frustrated. I wanna say it all out tonight. Time to express!

Song of the day: Meet me Halfway

Argh... Just got home from makan-makan with friends in Sunway. Was late for the dinner. It's all because of the fake lashes and the traffic of coz. Hehe... I just LOVE falsies and never go out without them. We had a long talk and catch up with each others life.

Been driving alone a lot lately. Happening life, that's what everyone been saying bout me. Oh really? I love it! I always have a problem with parking lot. Though I hate the complicated one, I'm glad I made it today. I'm not total lost anymore. Kinda scary to walk alone in late nights. It's okay, I'm a fighter. I scream real loud. Champion!

I learn a sentence today. Truth hurts, but lie worst. Hmm... Something to keep in mind.

Why do I have to work tomorrow? It's okay. Just be patient. Coz I'm gonna have a good time tomorrow. Can't wait. I'm glad I didn't drink today. Rest for a day.

Mosquitoes have been feeding on me ever since I sat down here and blog. Need a repellent. I don't wanna get any scar! Shoo...! I wish for a vampire to feed on me. I always wanted to be one. I think vampires are sexy. Check out New Moon in cinemas!

Song of the day: Better In Time

It's been the longest winter without you
I didn't know where to turn to
See somehow i can't forget you
After all that we've been through

Going
Coming
Thought i heard a knock(Whose there, Noone?)
Thinking that (I deserve it)
Now i have realised
that i really didn't knooOooOw

If you didn't notice
You mean everything (quickly I'm learning)
To love again (all i know is)
I'm be oooOook

(Chorus)

Thought i couldn't live without you
It's going to hurt when it heals too
Oh yeaah (It'll All get better in time)
Even though i really love you
I'm gonna smile because i deserve too
Oooh(It'll all get better in time)

(Verse)

I couldn’t turned on the TV
Without something that would remind me
Was it all that easy?
To just put us out your feeling
If i'm dreamin
Don't want to let it (hurt my feelings)
But that's the past (i believe it)
And i know that, time will heal it

If you didn't notice
Well you mean everything (quickly i'm learning)
Oooh turn up again (All i know is)
I'm be ok

(Chorus)

Thought i couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
Oooh yeah(It'll all get better in time)
Even though i really love you
I'm gonna smile because
i deserve too oooooh
(It'll all get better in time)

(Bridge)

Since there's no more you and me (No more you and me)
This time i let you go so i can be free
And Live my life how it should be(No No No No No No)
No matter how hard it is
I will be fine without you
Yes i Will

(Chorus)

Thought i couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
Oooh(It'll all get better in time)
Even though i really loved you
I'm gonna smile cos i deserve too yes i do(It'll all get better in time)

Thought i couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too yeaaaah Ooooh oooooh (It'll all get better in time)
Even though i really loved you
Going to smile cos i deserve too Ooooooh (It'll all get better....)

Been listening to this song the whole day and sing along. It's sooooooooooooo my song. Like the part, "It's gonna hurt when it heals too". Just like a wound when you fall. You have to clean it with antiseptic. It hurts a lot but making us heal.

Time for random pictures!

Time to kao kao chu... Night world!

xoxo

J.

Hmm... What should I blog about today? Having 2 laptops in my house is super convenient. I use one to do my own stuff like Facebook and blogging. At least my sis wouldn't disturb me with all her tantrums. hehe...

Now while I'm typing here, she's just next to me choosing clothes to buy from the web. Actually I'm the one who wanted to buy. Funny thing is my mum is interested as well. She is the cutest mum in the world. All mothers are great! She is a strong woman as well. That's what I need to learn from her.

She's smart. She knew what's going on with me lately with all the upset story. She never mentioned D's name infront of me anymore. That's what I observed from the day we broke up. She knew all along but she kept quiet and didn't act weird bout it. She's understanding.

I used to have small fights with her and got into each others nerve many times. I'm a defensive person. I'm also argumentative. I'll never let myself lose. That's my alter ego. Everyone has an alter ego. It's the other side of you. The other side of me is fierce and aggressive. When I'm on this bad part, I'll go berserk non-stop and say things that hurt. I've toned down. Never wanna say anything that hurts my love ones.

They are the only assets I have. My pillar of strength. Love them to bits.

Song of the day: No boundaries

Seconds, hours, so many days
You know what you want but how long can you wait?
Every moment lasts forever
When you feel you lost your way

And what if my chances were already gone?
Started believing that I could be wrong
But you give me one good reason
To fight and never walk away
Here I am still holding on

With every step you climb another mountain
Every breath it's harder to believe
You make it through the pain, weather the hurricanes
To get to that one thing

Just when you think the road is going nowhere
Just when you almost gave up on your dreams
They take you by the hand and show you that you can
There are no boundaries!
There are no boundaries!

I fought to the limit to stand on the edge
What if today is as good it gets?
Don't know where the future's headed
But nothing's gonna bring me down

I've jumped every bridge and I've run every line
I've risked being saved but I always knew why
I always knew why!

So hear I am still holding on!

With every step you climb another mountain
Every breath it's harder to believe
You make it through the pain, weather the hurricanes
To get to that one thing

Just when you think the road is going nowhere
Just when you almost gave up on your dreams
They take you by the hand and show you that you can

You can go higher, you can go deeper
There are no boundaries above and beneath you
Break every rule 'cause there's nothing between you and your dreams

With every step you climb another mountain
Every breath it's harder to believe

Yeah! There are no boundaries
There are no boundaries!

With every step you climb another mountain
Every breath it's harder to believe
You make it through the pain, weather the hurricanes
There are no boundaries!
There are no boundaries!
There are no boundaries

Time for dinner!

kini kakeru

J.

Life seems like a truth or dare game. It's either you take the truth and not betray your feelings. Or take the dare, where you can dare yourself to be someone you're not or do something out of your own guts. Both are connected. You can dare yourself to take the truth as well. I'm daring myself to take the ugly truth always. In relationships, in career, in friendships. But I do believe truth is beautiful sometimes.

Thank god that I don't have headache today at work. Trying to avoid all the stress if I can. Know what? My boss planning for an Annual Dinner on January. What else? He asked me to plan the whole thing. From Venue to games to the end... Wtf!!! I took a deeeeeep breathe. I can do it. I'll just do whatever I'm able to do. I have too many title carrying around my sleeve. I'm a PA cum HR cum Admin cum Event Planner cum Customer Service... Hmm... Suddenly, I felt like I'm a Superwoman in between. Guess when I tear my shirt off, I'll see my suit and cape.

Still getting my gastric sometimes. I'm in luck coz just minor. I know I'll be dead if I get too much of pain. I've gotten enough emotionally. I love myself too much not to let anything happen to my body, mind and soul.

I can't deny I'm loving beer now. Been drinking almost a week in a row. Er... I don't see any beer belly yet. So I still can keep up drinking... I'm even drinking while blogging now. Just came back from movie not long ago. The Box... Hmm... Kinda disappointed. I watch it because of Cameron Diaz. Memang tak paham!

Song of the day: Thinking Of You

Comparisons are easily done
Once you've had a taste of perfection
Like an apple hanging from a tree
I picked the ripest one
I still got the seed

You said move on
Where do I go
I guess second best
Is all I will know

Cause when I'm with him
I am thinking of you
Thinking of you
What you would do if
You were the one
Who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I
Was looking into your eyes

You're like an Indian summer
In the middle of winter
Like a hard candy
With a surprise center
How do I get better
Once I've had the best
You said there's
Tons of fish in the water
So the waters I will test

He kissed my lips
I taste your mouth
He pulled me in
I was disgusted with myself

Cause when I'm with him
I am thinking of you
Thinking of you
What you would do if
You were the one
Who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I
Was looking into...

You're the best
And yes I do regret
How I could let myself
Let you go
Now the lesson's learned
I touched it I was burned
Oh I think you should know

Cause when I'm with him
I am thinking of you
Thinking of you
What you would do if
You were the one
Who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I
Was looking into your eyes
Looking into your eyes
Looking into your eyes
Oh won't you walk through
And bust in the door
And take me away
Oh no more mistakes
Cause in your eyes I'd like to stay...

Hurray, it's Thursday tomorrow. Closer to weekend. So much to do this week. Calling all night guards! Time to sleep!!! Looking for my "Chao Gong"... Good night love ones.

xoxo

J.