the angels

I started out in a nice peaceful family...




i've got very nice big family in brunei and Singapore. aunts and uncles. grandparents.
i was so blessed. i was glad i was born this way..




a really really nice grandpa. in his arms since i was younger.
i really had no complains about it. its all worth it.

But things arent fine afterall when im slowly growing up. i learnt all the bad habits. i lied, i steal, i bully, i scolded vulgarities.of cos.. who did i pick up from? the one sat RIGHT next to me.




and from there i became worse BUT someone was even deep down cheaper than i do.
she took up the "gang" thing at the age of 11yrs old. she started smoking at the age of 13yrs old. she started running away from school since 14yrs old. she started liking girls at the age of 14yrs old.

she started her 1st drug taking at the age of 15yrs old. and she became that uncontrollable since the age of 10yrs old. she started bullying me treating me like a dog ever since i was 3yrs old.

i had to go her ways no matter what. if not she will start scolding me all the vulgarities or start to take my things away and destroy them. was she an angel? decision is all up to all readers.




soon of cos we had all grown up. my dad and mum started to age. my cousin had grown up too. this favourite aunt of mine. eventually didnt see the ugly side of HER. my aunt treated her so well. And i was always the leftovers. im someone who cant express myself neither do i like to be closer to any of the relatives.


thats me and i only chose to stick to dad and mum so close ever since my grandfathers were gone. my 2 uncles in brunei were gone. the whole family in brunei departed. mum was upset so do i but hatres over rule those saddness in me.


humans are greedy. humans will never feel enough of anything. they would rather keep that high quality life to keep up with this society THAN to rather stay simple and peaceful.


i used to be like that. but now. i chose to go the simple and peaceful way. as long as it enough to use them. i have them. im fine. i will no longer ask for more.


dad got me a credit card as my 21st old bday present. and i over spend them all from time to time and i always said i will learn my lesson but at the end it only lasted for a month or two.


i got my job, im earning good. but becos i loved her so much. during all her operations, my heart had never rested. keeping her accompany in the hospital the whole day. keeping awake in the middle of the nights to serve her. during her mahjong sessions. when i have to work a morning shift the next day.


i didnt complained. dad and mum were touched by it. she WAS greatful about it. she smsed me touching messages. and i believed her. but it ended in a way. she got herself a beautiful face at the end.


she slimmed down. she got all the appearance she wanted. she spend on even more about slimming down her thighs and everything. by going for slimming packages but she stopped after a while..


why? bcos she said it dont work. why? she dont exercise and she still eat that much. spending thousands and hundreds on those and yet telling us it dont work while the others worked so well.


her attitude, behaviour and temper became uncontrolable... she made herself look as if she was so rich. she made herself look as if she was that 100% perfect girl and daughter. she made herself lose her temper easily every now and then.


she said by changing her looks, she will have the confident to look for a HR job in hotels. dad gave her a 3rd chance to study. she holds on a higher cert than i do. BUT i can easily get a accounting assistant job. BUT she.. became fussy over jobs.


and finally, she became so materialistic. working in small hotels, she can earn faster, and promoted faster. introduced by her friend. she went for interview. she was in. the WHOLE family went high and low to look for working top and pants FOR her.


yes, we thought it was a success finally she is working.. her official FIRST job at the age of 23. she never faced the society before. while i did for the past 2yrs. be it my performances or my job. i hold a sales job afterall..


she went to work on the first day. 2nd day, she worked half a day and mention she had a very bad headache. eat panadol then. but eventually dad had to fetch her. 3rd day, off to work as usual. and 4th day, her off day. she mentioned, "im sick of the job, becos of it i missed all my mahjong sessions, my dramas online, my time surfing the net, my time meeting up my friends."


i was so pissed. i scolded her, "if you cant work this way, why did you even take up this job? you can just reject it. work only for 2days not even a 3days. you work for nothing no pay no nothing. all you have to do is waking up at 5am in the morning, take a CAB to work using dad's money, start work at 7am and ends at 7pm, but you have nothing much to do as a receptionist".


when i worked, i didnt take a cab at all. i always take a mrt or bus to work. i buy lunch boxes at work. i dont have fixed timing for breaks. i have to look after the shop myself. i have to earn sales myself. i was glad. i could give the shop an earning of 5 to 600 per day. at far east plaza. in a tiny shop. selling heels which ranges from $30 onwards.


i start work at 11am and end work at 9pm. who is worse? i dont earn commission from there. i have no OT pays. i simply just take my $4.50/per hr pay home monthly. then the next sales job. selling art glass jewelleries. full timer with OT. i only earn $1240. monthly and i have to work everyday, only an off on monday. worked from 10am to 10pm in the night. all alone as well.


then mum and dad complained that its too hectic its time to convert to part time. of cos. my company allows me to do that. becos i earn at least $1k profit a day. alone. no commission as well.


so i changed to $5.50 per hr. i worked 5days. 10am to 8pm a day. and i take home $900 a month.


all these. im someone who makes sure i dress up well and make up well before i goes to work. due to the line im in. i have to wake up at 7am. taking a train. i have to buy my breakfast or even at times i dont take my breakfast.


i transfer from branch to branch. parkway parade, orchard or vivocity. its hectic. my life had been so bad. my band was gone. my life was so mono. but all these money.. during my 2nd job. all goes to HER.. i dote her. i buy lots of things for her to kill her time off at home when recovering.


i take cabs here and there to rush home to rush to work from day to day. and i didnt use dad's money at all. i stopped taking money from him ever since i got my 1st full time pay.


and here today. she took everything for granted. she enjoyed herself so much. she didnt listen to anyone anymore. dad has to go for his medical appointment in the afternoon yesterday. so she had to help dad out by driving him over to his doc and deliver the doc. to all the schools. dad will not be able to driver after his arms are wrapped.


she didnt bother. she said.. " i played mahjong till so late plus mum just sms me and scold me like fark and my appointment for mahjong is in the evening".


she said im a big mouth to tell dad n mum all the message we had during an arguement on sunday.


why is she so afraid of me telling them? you dare to say those things.. then be sure to hold the consequences in the end. she mentioned INHUMAN. as long as she said it. and it refers to mum. she was wrong be it wat kind of tone you are using or what other meaning she had.


its all excuses. she could only scold me on the phone and asked me to take over dad's business. even if today dad only allow her to take over. she wouldnt want it. PLUS she can drive and i cant. and she can tell me.. "do you know the pain of a driver?"


dad does that EVERYDAY. and what about her? she only becomes the driver when she wants to use the car.


i've never seen such a pea brain person who can use this reason to argue back. im in charge of all the pc work in dad's office. does she know how to do that? she dont.. why? cos she doesnt wants to learn at all when dad offer to teach.


who to blame.. TELL ME WHO TO BLAME! mum dropped her tears in the living room last night when she heard me quarreling so loud on the phone. dad and mum were helpless and i cant stop her from all these evil doings.


dad got me a new credit card. and what i did. i cut it off and burn it. this time round if you were to ask me to buy anything i cant. cos its all new numbers i didnt memorise it.


she said she will die if someday dad passed away by any acident. to be true as wat i said. " your farking life is cheap, even if you die 10times you will not be able to pay back dad's life"


SHE SAID I CREATED ALL THESE. touch you own heart and ask yourself truly. how different are you from the woman in brunei. ALL THE SAME! JUST WAITING FOR DAD AND MUM TO DIE. SO THAT YOU CAN HAVE THIS CONDO UNDER YOU, THE SHOP UNDER YOU. U CAN SELL THE SHOP AT HIGH PRICE. YOU JUST WANTED ALL THE MONEY. EVEN MY OWN EARNING IN THE BANK. MY TOTAL AMOUNT IS HIGH THAN YOURS. YOU ALSO COMPLAIN AND END UP. HALF OF MY PAY HAS TO GOES TO YOU IF ONE DAY WE SPLIT THE MONEY UP!


im going insane.. i really am. i received dad's sms this afternoon. he beg me to ignore that person from now on. dad just want to be happy to have peace in the family. i told him im pissed very pissed. i cant allow her to do this. dad told me a long paragraph of things that touched my heart badly.


and i believe dad had finally let go of her. dad, im sure she will not regret nor upset one day. becos she will never know how much you had done in the family quietly all these years. she will be the same forever.


and someday she will go around begging her friends or even me. for money for anything. dad im sorry but i've vow to god. i had cut off ties with her from now on. so, pardon me. but what rui n i promised you. we will do it. and we will never let it fade away at all..same goes to mum.


BITCH, WATCH OUT. THIS IS HOW I WANT YOU TO DIE. YES, I WANT YOU TO SUFFER. YES I DID IT ALL. I COMPLAIN, I TOLD EVERYONE YOUR DIRTY LITTLE SECRETS. EVERYONE, THE COMMON FRIENDS OF OURS ALL KNOW ABOUT THE DIRTY SIDE OF YOU. CONTINUE YOUR ONLINE FLIRTING WITH SOME UNKNOWN GUYS. WHO DONT KNOW YOU ARE DESPERATE FOR A BF NOW. BUT TOO BAD YOU DONT HAVE THAT LUCK. THIS IS THE END OF YOU. DAD AND MUM CAN TREAT U WELL SOON. BUT REMEMBER. ALL THESE ARE FOR THE SAKE OF ME NOT YOU. YOU THINK YOU HAD GROWN UP.. THINK TWICE. WHAT DID YOU DO IN YOUR WHOLE LIFE.


AND ALSO. SINCE YOU MENTIONED, I WAS BORN A MISTAKE. LET ME COMPLETE YOU SENTENCE. IF I WAS BORN A MISTAKE, THEN YOU ARE DEFINITELY BORN A BIG MISTAKE.


end of here. got to get ready for jamming. i think im going to be late again.