*sigh*

im so freaking tired... and i think my brain isnt working anymore... BUT.. i still have to carry on with the band stuff...


1st.. sheena still cant turn up for the band jamming. and currently i have to work on 2 positions in the band now.

2nd. i still have to carry on finding some good talents to put into my band. eden is graduating from poly. and he will be entering the army real soon.

3rd. i have to make sure the band can create as many songs as possible and release an EP asap before eden goes into NS.

4th. i have yet to come out with any bassline for the 3rd original's later part of the song. and im so brain dead now. and tml is the jamming.

i think i really have problems managing the band and my work and my personal life. i think i cant cope afterall.

mum and dad are away from Singapore. they will only resume their work on friday. and currently im the one in the office doing ALL the editings on PC. yes... from 9am to 6pm..

more and more emails are coming in. and from time to time dad will call me and tell me about the latest emails and documents coming in.. even the ones that will come in the next day.

and all the date lines are on this friday. and i MUST finish them up. i've got no time to practice, to rest, to even eat or sleep.

i only had my lunch at 5 30pm and left another half of it for my dinner which is at 8pm. i hardly get off the chair to take a break. eventually i only could take a break when i go to the toilet or my sister using the pc for some other work purposes.

while my mind is like.. oh..  my band this and that. is mum and dad fine overseas, how shall i do my bassline, how to get my office work done faster. this and that..........

its driving me crazy!! im farking stressed out actually.

i was hoping the smses and calls that comes in isnt dad or mum during office hours. cos it will definitely be about work work work...

i dont have time to even get onto msn, facebook and blah blah during these working days... im so totally in my own world.

i just realised, ever since october starts.. i was busy from day 1 till now... even till the end of oct.

what the fark! and from november onwards i will get even busier and lesser personal space. relatives coming to sg.. my room will be their use.. and i think i will have ALOT of problem doing the originals.

mum wants me to go down to the office more to help dad with all the PC documents.. i will but im thinking how do i plan everything so that they dun clash.

i still have to think about the nights.. i have to make sure i get home earlier to accompany mum as dad n sis will always be out at night.

i finally FULLY understand dad's position now. lucky im not taking my pre-advance japanese classes now. if not im very very very sure i will get this REAL bad temper.. pushing everyone away. i will cancel all jammings if one dun turn up be it wat problem.. i wont care... or originals not done and just wanna fool around in the studio..

or anyone being late... all and all.. if all these add up... not other who will die out of it.. but myself...


i didnt contact my very own bf the whole day.. i woke up... early off to work and he was still sleeping.. no smses.. no calls.. nothing... get home... just sis and i... i stare at the tv.. smoke.. then bath and then back to my room to do all my stuff... then sleep...

NOTHING... it was so dead! i guess i have to start sms-ing people THEN... people will get back to me...

then thats when i will feel im alive. i guess im getting really distant from everyone. i can only focus on staying by mum's side, doing my originals, finding talents, solving band's problem, worrying over dad's injury, brainstorming on all the posters, videos, photos.wtf! can someone just share my loads!

i used to take things for granted when i was younger.. and i think this is retribution now.. i have more loads than what i was supposed to have.

*claps* i used to be that vain.. i must make sure i make up to work and all. even if i just stay in the shop. but now... HA! no make up.. i just draw my eyebrown, straighten my hair.. wear my specs and off to work...

TOTALLY NOT ME! but wat can i do! thats the only way i can save my skin from out breaks. imagine..i dun even have time to DRINK a sip of water. i can leave my food there for hours... i can eat n work at the same time. i dun even stand up just to take a small break.. afraid i cant complete it within a DAY..

ah.. crap.. getting back to original... if not i dont have to sleep anymore... damn.. i only have got like 4 to 5hrs slp per day now...


end....