Sound Familiar? 20 Reasons You’re Still Single

You’re Shallow

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If within a few seconds of meeting a woman you have already calculated an estimate of her weight and located any problem areas where cellulite might lurk on her body, you may hereby consider yourselfshallow. No matter how hot she is, you’re inevitably going to find her flaws. You will likely remain single until you get over yourself.

You’re Too Independent

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Being a bachelor certainly has plenty of perks. You don’t have to wait that extra hour for her to get ready for an outing, and you generally come and go as you please. The thing is, at some point you may actually no longer want to be all alone, and you’re going to have to compromise. Give up a bit of your independence to avoid growing into a lonely old man.

You’re Afraid of Commitment

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Tying into your fierce sense of independence is your equally strong fear of commitment. On top of losing your freedom, you don’t want to get married, only to get divorced later and lose half of your stuff. The future is unpredictable, and you can bet that once you settle down, you’ll meet a woman who is hotter, smarter and more successful than the one you’re with. Oh, and she’s going to flirt with you, but too bad — you’re in a committed relationship. Knowing this, you have every right to fear commitment, but getting over that fear is what men do.

You’re a Slob

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You need a shave and a haircut. Your dirty laundry is more like a mildew-laced pile of odorous rags, so you wear your t-shirt inside out. There is leftover food on your desk from last week. What’s not to love? Look around, then look at yourself in the mirror. Are you a slob? Chicks don’t really dig slobs.

You’re a Douchebag

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Get your collar popped and layer on that spray-tan — let’s talk about why you’re still single. Could you be a douchebag? Some women actually like douchebags, but these ladies are generally not the type you’d take home to meet mom. If you want to meet a nice girl, you’re going to have to tone it down a notch… Or several.

You’re Addicted to Gaming

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If by some divine intervention, you actually manage to acquire a girlfriend between day-long bouts of questing, you’re probably in for a let-down since she won’t be around long. You need to cut back, drastically, on your playing habits if you want to maintain a relationship. Just remember, your guild isn’t going to keep you warm at night.

You’re Desperate

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Desperation reeks. It’s a fact. Men who are desperate repel women. If you are initially cool enough to get a woman’s phone number, by no means should you ever call her more than twice without her returning your call. She may be busy when you call, but if you call repeatedly, you are ensuring that she will never call you back, and even worse, she’ll hope to never see you again.

You’re the Nice Guy

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You’re always helpful, polite, and kind — the type of guy every woman wants, right? Apparently not. Guys that are too nice have a more difficult time moving out of the friend zone than guys who act likecomplete dicks. Some women even perceive excessive niceness as a weakness of character. You shouldn’t go full douchebag, but don’t be afraid to be a little hard, at times. It just lets her know you’re not a doormat.

You’re a Control Freak

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It’s your way, or the highway. There’s no room for compromise in your life. You like things the way you like them, and as long as everything goes according to your plan everything is cool. If you throw a temper tantrum the moment something is out of your control, you may need to lighten up a little.

You’re Too Shy

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There comes a time in your life when you have to either man up and deal with your insecurities or face the fact that you’re going to die alone. If you don’t have any confidence when approaching women, enlist some friends to help you out. You may need to serve as a wingman for a while, but pay attention to what the pilot is doing. Observe him and learn how the game is played. And remember this: Alcohol is your friend.

You’re Selfish

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Did you fail “Sharing” in kindergarten? If you only ever think of yourself, get used to it because you’re the only person you’ll have to consider as you’ll be single for a while. If you can bring yourself to be a little less self-absorbed and a little more considerate, you may have a shot at a relationship. Try putting others before yourself a little more often.

You’re Broke

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If you’re broke all the time, how can you expect to maintain a relationship? You don’t have to buy a girl expensive gifts, but she will like to go out from time to time. If you’re tired of being single, you’ll have to work some dating funds into your budget.

Your Friends Are Assholes

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It’s true, you’re judged by the company you keep. If you hang out with jerks, you’re likely a jerk too. Even if you’re not, you can’t stop your friends from acting like assholes and ruining any relationship you might have. Get some better friends.

You’re In Love With Yourself

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You’re wonderful and perfect. You don’t need a relationship because everything you do, say and have is so delightful there is really no void to fill. It must be great to be you.

You’re a Workaholic

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Being career and goal-oriented isn’t a flaw, but it may take away relationship opportunities. If you’re too busy to have any kind of social life outside of work, you’re already married — to your job.

You’re a Pervert

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We all think about sex — a lot. However, if you fail to disengage your eyes and mouth from your perverted thoughts you will repulse women. If you are looking for a relationship, you will need to learn this skill. It’s also a good idea to learn how to clear your cache and browser history.

You’re In Love With Your Ex

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Your relationships may never work out if you’re still hung up on the one that got away. It’s best to move forward and let it go, especially if you’re looking for something new. No woman wants to live in the shadow of your ex. It’s also pathetic, so get over it.

You’re Boring

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What were you saying? Sorry, I fell asleep. You’re boring. Nobody wants to listen to you tell the same unfunny stories over and over. We’re sure your cat is awesome, but come on. Be interesting if you’re going to talk so much, otherwise just shut up and work the mysterious angle instead.

You’re Obnoxious

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You always interrupt when people are speaking, usually to interject a random rude comment. You’re loud and you’re the only person who thinks you’re funny. You’re like nails on a chalkboard to most women, so grow up and try listening to people for once.

You’re a Liar

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Telling her that her ass doesn’t look big in those jeans isn’t a lie, it’s self-preservation. Telling her you were at church while you were at the racetrack is a lie. You only have to get caught in one big one to spoil something that could have been nice. Have the balls to tell the truth, just don’t be brutal about it.