Here is the only place that I can blog because I do not personally know anyone here... It has been such a long time that I haven't blog....

Life has been very tough for me... I have been wanting that post so desperately cos I knew I can handle it, but things don't seem me at my way and I have made a stupid mistakes and now I know that I can’t handle it with cares. I so upset with myself and it has been days that I really can’t let go of it...

My new job has actually taken up a lot of my time and I have consumed too much energy on this job. Though still no regret on taking up the job but then I cant cope up with the job as it is really very demanding...One man show, how does it works? I don't know.

My 2nd boss keep telling me to let go, and finally today I decided that I must let go, as no matter how bad the situation I must let go only then I can move on. Life is always a learning process and I need to learn from this mistakes and don’t let it happen again.

 

Changes need time, my 2^nd boss told me that before I went home. Ya, I have been wanting things to change fast, fast & furious is what I felt. So I decided to slow down. I went for a hair cut again. My hairdresser knew that I am so tired and I look tired too…. he recommend his gal to give me massage and let me relax and in order for me to look fresh and young he give me a brand new hair style.

 

Don’t push myself too harsh, all I need is to slow down my pace and learn to look around. I might miss out something along the way and who knows it might be able to help me throughout my career…

 

A mistakes is already made, there is nothing much I can do for now. But it is a lesson that I have learnt, not to repeat it again. Take it easy and let it go. No use cry over spilt milk but tell myself I will be brighter after this incident. May be is super stress that is why I have overlooked the matter.

 

New broom sweep clean. Wonder how clean is it? God has put me in such a situation and I know that He has his will and all I need is to lay my trust on HIM and let him take the lead. I don’t know what will happen in future but really there is nothing much I can do about it. Worrying too much has affected my life.

 

The lesson to let go is not that easy but I will try to learn it. Take things easy though life is never easy. Actually I am not too bad after all if I think it positively. My 2^nd boss who has been encouraging me asking me not to give up, he said I just join the company for 1 month and that is short, I must give myself 1 year to prove.

All I need is to realign myself also. Just like car wheels need alignment so is human. Let the next minute be a brand new minute for me. Changes take time, so is my thinking. I have set a high benchmark for myself and for the company too, that is why I suffer. Let set a minimum benchmark and things won’t be that bad.

 

Hope that tonight I can sleep well.

It has been such a long time that I do not have the feeling that I really need a shoulder to cry on. But recently, I am upset and confuse too. I am feeling helpless now. I have been crying for few nights and was thinking things are over and I can be happy... But then now, I know is not over yet. Though I tell myself I don't really care and mind but deep inside my heart  I know that I really care about it...  I don't want to pretend to be happy, wearing a mask is so tiring. Life is always tiring but need to face it no matter what. Pray to Lord and i know he will listen...  he is my invisible shoulder and I know I can put my trust in HIM.

17th August 2009... this is the day that i have been waiting for... A day which is able to decide my destination to my success....

This is the day my exam result is out... It will be released during my lunch break. Not going out for lunch and dont even want to take lunch. I was staring at my computer.There alone in the office. Time pass so slow... and my heart pounded so fast. Here it comes my sales director there to tease me. Great he was there, the 1st person who shares my happiness.

The moment the result is release... he is the 1st one who knows about my passing. Know what, that moment, I just cant describe it with words. With him around there, at that moment i was thinking if there is no one beside me, wouldn't it be lonely to be just there all by myself? I can only calls my friends to tell them abt it but the feeling not the same...

It was a good result and i feel that all my hardwork has been paid for and i really appreciate what God has given to me. Now i feel my days are brighter and cheerful. Few more last strike, I really need to strike hard for it.

I am glad that I have true friends there to share my happiness with me. They are so great. they are really my great friends.... To all  my dear friends, I really so happy to have you guys...

What Am I busy with? I dunno...sometimes I just feel like I am busy for noting for no reason.... But that is just life.... We just need to keep ourselves busy....

I dont know what happen to me recently. Hot-tempered, lost my patience, irritate so easily and cant even stand a single tiny mini issues....

I dont like this piece of me, but I lose my control, cant control my emotion. Things just make me frustrated. Dont like this dont like that....

I so bored with just listening to ppl and no one listen to my inner heart... I hate it and hate it.... When I raise my voice say I am mad, when I soft-spoken cant hear, dont know what !!!