why on earth does guys like this exist?
freakin 30 years old already..
claim to be an architect..

dating a 21year old student..my housemate..
he comes to our place every single day..
sleeps here,bathes here, shits here, cooks here, eats here..
he even bring his fren over while we're not around..
have his letters sent to our place as well..

even weekends.. he spends the whole day in our apartment..
in the living room!
bloody annoying..

furthermore.. he's a freakin loser who talks alot and thinks he's damn funny..
but too bad its too hard to laugh at wat he says..
fucking loser!

keeps saying i always stay in my room..
hello.. how the fuck should i go out when u bloody occupy my whole living room huh??
expecting me to be a light bulb while u two freakin colonise my dining table and i hav no where to sit?

asshole..

when he cooks.. he bloody uses my stuff until 1 percent left..
i rarely cook and those stuff that i bought are for emergency uses..
jus in case i hav the urge to cook..
i friggin used them for 3 years and its not more than half used..
he bloody use it more than me..

he fucking park his car at our apartment when he's not here..
wat's goin on in his fuckin mind!!!
he thinks this is a valet parking lot huh!! losserrr!!
worst still.. he does his laundry here..
wat a parasite!!! puke*

he suck he suck he suck he suck he suck..
he talks to me on msn in a way that annoys the hell out of me..
saying things like.."dun worry.. u're not my type.. i wont go after u.."
or "y r u not cute?" or "u're not sexy enuf"
craking jokes that are extremely irritating and totally not funny at all..
plss. look into the mirror and see how u look like..
his girlfriend is my housemate and he says stuff like
"i wanna earn alot of money so that i can get alot of girls" to me..
wat the fuck is goin on in his mind!!
disgusting piece of shit!!
he's jus as ugly and totally knot make it at all..
freakin looks like a retard but still wanna act cool
oh my fucking god!!!

i'm sorry i hafta spill this out here because i couldnt sleep..
this thing keeps goin on n on in my brain..
and i dunno how to confront my housemate..
we're housemates for three years and i dun wanna hurt her..
but the boyfriend is a complete loser..
fucking go to hell man!

okie.. i'm done here.. toodles..

i'm having a flu right now!!it sucksss..
feeling really really uncomfortable.extremely*

after my exams.. i could feel a lil bit of sore throat gettin to me..
however..i thought it'd jus gonna be a minor cold and wont be a big big deal..
still went to mt dandenong although i was already feeling very uncomfortable..
still went clubbin till late nite coz i thought things will be okay after i get some sleep..
still have to go to work on sat morning because i thought workin myself out will help cure the disease..
in the end.. i was near to fainting at work and i had to find somebody else to replace me for the night shift..
was driving home with my eyes half closed or fully closed a few times..lucky me..no accident.pheew*
went straight to at 3pm and slept thru the whole nite until the next morning..
it wasnt a very pleasant sleep thought because i would constantly wake up every one to two hours..
either to a very bad dry cough or a bad nauseous condition..
how is that a good nite sleep i ask you??

i'm feeling hot and cold at the same time..
my whole body is aching..especially my legs.. even the joints are aching too..
feel like choppin them off..
having a very bad headache.. accompanied by dizziness n nausea..
i havent been eating for almost three days but i still feel like throwing up..
i feel like throwing up even if i drank water..
i couldnt get out of my bed..
i feel really really weak..it takes alot of energy for me to jus go to the kitchen to get some water..
i find it really energy consuming to even step out of bed..
i couldnt even go see a doctor because clinics are not open on sundays..wtf!
done for the explaination of symptoms associated with flu..

miss zm is feeling really really sick n down..
she misses her family so soo soo much..
she misses how her daddy n mommy will constantly bring water in for her..
cooks nice n hot porridge for her..
brings hot towel to her and checking her body temperature..
giving her massages and constantly asking " r u feeling better?"

she feels really lonely n deprived of love at this moment..
being by herself and only herself to rely on for food..water..
or even simple words like get well soon..its only herself.you'realone.thistime.
now.. she learns to accept and come to realize this..
when you're at overseas all by yourself..
u hafta learn how to survive on your own..this is reality.. face it!

miss zm mus learn to not cry although it is always the best way to walk things through..
miss zm will stay strong and not let the disease take over her..

last note to myself : get well soon..=)

went to get my dose of coffee for the day @ starbucks..
 
   i see my name!!!! - *min*  ^^

as i''m already sick of eating unhealthily for the past few weeks..
miss zm decided to have some take away dinner from nelayan on the way back
i've noticed the layered cake aka "kek lapis" sitting there for quite some time..
displayed jus next to the cashier..
and only till today.. miss zm decided to get one..
however!! i was freaking-ishly shocked when i found out it costs $20 each..
isnt it way too expensive for such a small cake??
not like its in a size of a 1kg birthday cake...whoa*
too much.. so miss zm is sad because she cant get her kek lapis..
sigh...
*drools*

and now..*emo*
i realised i'm not very good at letting go..
the 49th day after grandma passed away was on the 11th of august
and i missed it..
moreover..the whole family were suppose to stay vegetarian for a period
of 49 day..
y so?
in the chinese tradition..it is believed this period of 49days is when the person
who passed away chooses her path to her afterlife..
so those alive will help her by accumulating good deeds..
however..i only managed to become a vegetarian for three weeks?? i guess..
it was really hard to only eat vegetables and it induced my binge eating behavīor..
and i sought for more dessert in the replacement of meat..
y is miss zm soo useless?? *smacks*

i was looking at pictures of grandma today and i realised..
i have not accept the fact that she's gone..
i still remember hugging her and asking her to stay happy before i left for melb..
she could not stop giving me angpaos.. one after another for all sorts of reason..
she was such a loving grandmother and she always insisted on cooking dinner for
the whole big family even though she wasnt feeling well..

cousins and aunts hav sent links or emails or photos regarding grandma's death..
like what happens to the money collected during the funeral..
or chants to help pray for grandma..so n so..
i've been avoiding all of it for a long time..
until today..i decided to visit our "family blog" after receiving an email from aunt..
there again..i saw pics of grandma smilling happily..before she was diagnosed with cancer..
this is when i start to weep again..
its like a switch.. when triggered, tears jus flow out...
.automatically.instantly.
i know things will not be the same back home anymore..
but i just couldnt feel that impact yet because i'm here in melb..
i have no idea what will happen when i physically experience the absence of grandma..


stay strong!!! is what i have to keep telling myself..

I'm addicted to this!!!


i hate facebook!!! its sooo distracting..
how u crazy ppl score 17000+ in this??
teach me teach me!!!!! ^^
mygawd.. i study for 10 mins.. and i play this for half an hour or more..
how can i pass my exams .. u tell me!!!
 
having to sit for the exams tomorrow
and hell lots of studies yet to be done..
miss zm is under alot of stress n anxiety..
when the playlist of songs in her comp r too emotion stimulating...
she sought for alternatives..

since everybody is watching the games and miss zm feels left out
because she couldnt watch..has to study.. u see..

she went to youtube and found this...
the olympics theme song titled "you and me"
by liu huan and sarah brighton..

C-A-L-M-I-N-G.. i mus say.. =)

i was having a dilemma in choosing to study or to go for a fancy dinner..
and so.. miss zm chose the latter..sigh
now she regrets.. because she couldnt concentrate anymore after going out..
i wish i had a freakin long concentration span..then.. i wont hafta suffer so much..
i guess this whole exam thgy is really making me extremely stressed up..
i hafta even choose whether to eat dinner or not..crazayyyyyy..
and i think i need to give momo a big hug here..*huggiess* moooouuuu..
i was actually half joking half attackin when he commented about my hair..
but xn said that i sounded emo..
hmm.. guess the stress made me lose my sense of humour..
HOW?? die larh!
anywayss..
back to the topic..about the dinner,

venue: The Botanical, 159, Domain road, south yarra.

it is recommended by THE AGE..
and it is called Melbourne's Best Steak..that is how it's written on the menu..
I'm not lying..^^
ambience is really nice
service is a 100%
steak was good..but too big portion for a girl..
but.. it took them a very long time to serve the food..
but.. ooh well.. its fine dining.. its meant to be slow.. u see..
still.. its way too slow.. i reckon..=p
overall..everybody enjoyed their dinner..
but.. do not order seafood..the portion is saddeningly small..seriously*
and now.. picture time!

cute menu*






i love this two pics da most..u noe why?? =p
   

da sweet n loving-ish forever coupless..^^
   
the emo one*                                          jon..who's leaving us soon..=(


and now.. miss zm shall present u with
"Melbourne's best Steak"                                            


            japan exported steak..