Culture Course
The quintessential Hong Kong experience.

1. Have your fortune read by the oldest looking fortune-teller at Wong Tai Sin Temple
2. Watch all of Stephen Chow’s movies
3. Try to figure out what “sweep the street” means in Mong Kok slang, and then go do it
4. Learn a Cantonese opera song and join in the live music performance in Temple Street
5. Keep your Chinese doctor’s hand-written perscrīption stuck to the fridge
6. Watch “Mr. Hong Kong”
7. Burn pictures of your ex on a sidewalk during Hungry Ghost Festival
8. Pretend to be a triad
9. Learn Chinese chess
10. Watch old people gambling with traditional Chinese games at public parks. If you stay long enough they might teach you how to play.
11. Borrow the whole Doraemon cartoon series from a public library
12. Start a moody, “everyone hates me” Xanga blog
13. Join the Facebook group “I heart HK” (or create one)
14. Believe anything your feng shui master says.
15. Be a member of an indie band and curse Cantopop
16. ...But download a Cantopop ringtone anyway
17. Explore Wan Chai market. Smell the love.
18. Spend a night in Chungking Mansions with your backpack
19. Tell everyone you are single during Lunar New Year to avoid giving out laisee
20. Never sit on a warm MTR seat
21. Live in a caged home for a night in Sham Shui Po
22. Read “Old Master Q” cartoons and try to get all the jokes
23. Play mahjong with strangers at a parlor and pretend you are an undercover policeman when you lose
24. Play liar dice in a bar that sells bowls of peanuts for $60
25. Have your photo taken at a party and find it weeks later in a magazine
26. Open an art gallery with your retirement fund
27. Use smiley faces even when you are e-mailing your boss
28. Go speed dating. Make up a new job for every person that you meet.
29. Throw a party outside the Cultural Centre
30. Wash your utensils in hot tea before you eat at a teahouse
31. Name your child after a fruit
32. Bleach your hair blonde, especially if you’re a teenager
33. Get photographed by a tabloid magazine and watch as they fabricate an entire story about you
34. Seduce someone via SMS, then send them a Dear John text a day later
35. Stay awake during an entire art film at Broadway Cinematheque
36. Write a poem in an upstairs revolutionary café
37. End every English sentence with “la” or “ar”
38. Walk past the Museum of Art. Never actually go inside.
39. Photograph every dish you eat at every restaurant you go to. Post a review on openrice.com, even if it’s a Big Mac.
40. Jump in with the impromptu performance artists along Sai Yeung Choi Street South
41. Make a wish at the Lam Tsuen Wishing Trees
42. Intern at HK Magazine
43. Attempt to sleep with starlets and upload your DIY sex tape on YouTube
44. Watch a lion dance put on by firemen
45. Eat worm jelly to experience Fujian culture at Mun Nam Restaurant
46. Count the number of buddhas inside the 10,000 Buddha Temple
47. Misspell “Wellcome”
48. Finally finish your leftover mooncakes by Christmas.
49. Do a watercolor of the smoggy harborfront and find that you have to buy extra tubes of gray paint
50. Announce your phobia of chicken feather dusters
51. Claim you were stopped by a modeling agent in Causeway Bay when shopping the other day
52. Learn to grind your own soya bean milk  • Soak 300g of soya beans in water for six hours. • Drain the beans. • Pour the beans and three cups of water into a blender until finely blended. • Use a piece of cheesecloth to drain the liquid and throw away the residue. Boil the liquid over medium heat. • Then cook for 10 minutes over low heat. • Add sugar or salt to taste, and ta-da! Your very own batch of soya milk.
53. Meet a blind date under the Tsim Sha Tsui Star Ferry clock tower
54. Grudgingly share your table with a stranger in a cha chaan teng.
55. Call your pet, child or boy/girlfriend “BB” loudly in public
56. Drink twenty-four herbs tea while listening to 24 Herbs.
57. Wear a Mickey Mouse t-shirt to Ocean Park
58. Make a short film set in your cramped flat and submit it to www.ifva.com
59. Sing karaoke around the clock at Red Box or Green Box
60. Be a bartender at the Fringe Club
61. Rent and re-watch all the old TVB dramas
62. Spend a whole Sunday going on open tours of houses on sale at the Peak
63. Get drunk at Artwalk, then expound obnoxiously on the artworks
64. Go to an all-you-can-eat buffet at a dodgy karaoke bar and get food poisoning
65. Pick a mobile phone number with as many 8s in it as possible
66. Get the first-row seat at a pop concert
67. ...And start crying when Andy Lau comes on.
68. Teach English as a second language
69. Drink pu’er tea in a Starbucks cup
70. Savor a pineapple bun outside the Space Museum
71. Go on a date with a local celebrity
72. Become a local celebrity
73. Sit your kid down at the piano until they pass the Grade Eight exam
74. Talk to a local artist at Cattle Depot Artists Village
75. Have a temporary obsession with anything from Japan or Korea
76. Belly dance outside Times Square
77. Gossip loudly about your friends in Tsui Wah, Café Landmark or Yung Kee     (location depending on your age and gender)
78. Read the free newspaper of the person standing in front of you on the MTR
79. Join a poon choi dinner in Tai Po uninvited
80. Pronounce Louis Vuitton as “Louise Veeton” and Pucci as “Poo-See”
81. Practice your English or Cantonese with the ABCs in Lan Kwai Fong
82. Munch on a cheeseburger at the Chi Lin Nunnery
83. Take everything the tabloids say as the truth
84. Attempt to define “Hong Kong Culture” every time you’re drunk
85. Have a French toast at China Cafe
86. ...And wash it down with an iced milk tea
87. Still feeling hungry? Walk down to Mido Cafe for a baked pork chop rice
88. ...And watch the day go by on their first floor terrace
89. Have another nostalgic cha chaan teng experience at Cheung Lee Cafe
90. Try some tea and talk about tea culture with the owners of the 77-year-old Pang Yue Tai tea shop
91. Break your knees and get them fixed by the bonesetter at Leung Choi Shun
92. While you’re there, buy a bottle of medicine oil to ease muscle pain
93. Get spooked in the haunted Nam Koo Terrace
94. ...or spook someone else there
95. Pet a cat and enjoy the sunlight at the Old District Office North in Tai Po
96. Coming down with a cold? Get some herbal medicine at Tai Wo Tong
97. Chat to the old lady still living in a 100-year-old house in Tai Hang
98. Hide from the junkies at the Sham Shui Po Public Dispensary
99. Visit the oldest printing press in Hong Kong at old tenement houses on
Wing Lee Street
100. Brave the guard dogs to admire the colonial-style mansion Jessville
101. Get your fortune told by a bird on Temple Street before the government tears down the area to build a highway
102. Don’t trust the bird? Go to the stall next-door next for palm reading
103. ...Or get a tarot reading across the street
104. Visit the Tai O Culture Workshop to understand the Tai O fishing culture
105. While you’re there, try the sweet dumpling snacks
106. ...After a fresh seafood meal
107. Try the freshest, cheapest pomegranates from the Graham Street Market
108. Get a permit to go inside the closed border area in Sha Tau Kok
109. And walk around the 1910-style buildings there
110. And don’t forget to take a peek at the other side of the border
111. Buy fresh seafood off a fishing boat in Sai Kung
112. Walk up the stairs of the worn-down pre-war buildings in Sham Shui Po
113. Find more of them in Tai Kok Tsui
114. Walk through the pre-war buildings and eat in the streets in Kowloon City
115. Think about those old blue buses we used to have at the Old China Bus depot
in Aberdeen
116. Sneak into the now vacant St. Mark’s School in Shau Kei Wan and graffiti the walls
117. Play mahjong with the villagers at the iconic “Eight Houses” in Stanley
118. Say a little prayer at the 120-year-old Main Cathedral on Caine Road
119. Wrong religion? Walk down Garden Road to St John’s Church
(built 167 years ago) instead
120. Still got it wrong? Go to Jamia Masjid, the 93-year-old mosque on  Shelley Street
121. Or Visit the Ohel Leah Synagogue, which has been on Robinson Road for 107 years
122. Stop at the Lin Fa Kung Temple in Tai Hang
123. Or the Wong Tai Sin Temple
124. Trek along Hong Kong Island to look for traces of the City of Victoria circa 1913, which is marked by seven boundary stones. Find the first one in the playground at
Kennedy Town.
125. The second one at the junction of Pok Fu Lam and Hatton Road
126. The third one is on Bowen Road
127. Then walk up to Old Peak Road for the fourth
128. Before heading to Magazine Gap Road for the next
129. The last one is on Wong Nai Chung Road (the seventh has been removed)
130. Admire the way the URA have preserved the pawnshop at 60 Johnston Road,
and enjoy a meal at The Pawn.
131. Then take a turn down Wedding Card Street to see the damage they have done
132. Replay the handover ceremony video at the stroke of midnight on June 30 every year
133. Play hide-and-seek in the World War II tunnels
134. Wear a tailor-made cheongsam (or Mao suit if you’re a man) and visit all of Wong Kar-wai’s film sets
135. Spend a night at the Helena May
136. Recite the names of all the former governors in chronological order
137. Put your iPhone, iPod, Blackberry, notebook and other gadgets you own in a time capsule and throw it into a hole at a construction site
138. Take a tram to the Wan Chai Livelihood Museum
139. Bai Tai Shui at Man Mo Temple. Go in the late afternoon when the sun hits the incense smoke.
140. Buy a hidden gem from a junk shop on Cat Street
141. Sell flags on poppy day
142. Pawn your jewelry
143. Sit on the Sun Yat-sen statue at HKU and take a picture. Don’t forget your V-sign.
144. Attend the candlelight vigil on June 4
145. Remember Leslie Cheung by taking part in the candlelight vigil opposite the Mandarin Hotel every April 1
146. Keep all your coins with the Queen’s face on them
147. Ask a granny about her wartime stories
148. Sit on the HSBC lions and admire their gunshot wounds
149. Keep your McDonald’s toys in the original packaging. They’ll be worth a fortune in 30 years.
150. Salute the uniformed dummies at the Police Museum
151. Figure out the meaning of “Rednaxela Terrace”
152. Watch a film produced the year you were born at the Hong         Kong Film Archive
153. Kiss the Queen Victoria statue
154. Take a ferry to Tung Ping Chau and admire the         rock formations
155. Spot a remaining piece of King of Kowloon’s graffiti
156. Go for a picnic in the Kowloon Walled City Park
157. Re-enact the British landing on Possession Street
158. Break up with your girlfriend at Murray House
159. Room share in a Tong Lau (old Chinese walkup building) and sleep on a bunk bed
160. Visit the Museum of History, but only because you need to use the bathroom
161. Forgive Tung Chee-hwa
162. Ditch your NDS and go back to Tetris on Game Boy
163. Report a crime at the Yau Ma Tei Police Station
164. Go back to your alma mater and see if your primary school teacher is still there
165. Have a family day at the old Dairy Farm cowsheds in
Pok Fu Lam
166. Hang out in Yuen Long and talk to the indigenous people
167. Take a first date to the Hong Kong Cemetery
168. Watch a late-night black-and-white Cantonese film
169. Help your grandma burn her Japanese military banknotes
170. Take a nap at the Heritage Museum
171. Hold a memorial for the Central Star Ferry Pier on Dec 12 every year
172. Dress like Lara Croft and raid the Lei Cheng Uk Han Tomb Museum.
173. Grab some hot buns at the Cheung Chau Bun Festival
174. Take a sampan to the Jumbo Floating Restaurant
175. Hum a Madonna song in Tin Hau Temple
176. Spend a night at Bruce Lee’s old home in Kowloon Tong.
It’s now a love hotel.
177. When you have a sniffle, visit the Hong Kong Museum of Medical Sciences and thank God for modern medicine.
178. Keep everything. Throw away nothing.
179. Panic buy rice and cooking oil during the next typhoon 8
180. Get lost in the Island Beverly mall
181. Spritz yourself with all the perfumes at Sasa
182. Giggle at GOD’s “Delay No More” t-shirts
183. Buy a seized sampan from a Government Police Auction
The Government Logistic Department’s Public Auctions take place twice a month in The Conference Room of the Government Logistic Center at 11 Chong Fu Rd., Chai Wan. Details of the auction and items on the block can be viewed at www.gld.gov.hk/eng/auction.htm.
184. Fill up your aquarium at the goldfish market
185. Bargain hard for a $70 pair of sunglasses down the lanes
186. ...And then see the same pair for $30 five minutes later
187. Live an entire day on just your Octopus
188. Try to get into Sevva proudly wearing your new “Vouis Luitton” or “Lopo Ralph Raulen” shirt
189. Buy a ridiculous costume on Pottinger Street
190. Bargain hunt in the Ap Lei Chau factory outlets
191. ...Then bargain hunt some more at Citygate
192. Impulse buy a chinchilla. Then make it into a fur muff when it dies.
193. Buy a plot of land in the New Territories and grow your own organic vegetables
194. Max out your credit card at Lane Crawford
195. Run with the punk teens on Granville Road
196. Pick a paper hungry ghost offering in Sai Ying Pun
197. When you’re poor, furnish your entire flat in stuff from Pricerite and Japan Home Center
198. Then when you’re rich, furnish your house in stuff from Horizon Plaza and Ikea
199. Pick up a tacky, marabou feather trim thong from the Ladies Market
200. Marvel at the carved mammoth tusks on Hollywood Road
201. Go on a spending spree at Wing On
202. Wander down Temple Street and buy an “I Heart HK” t-shirt
203. ...And a sex toy
204. ... And an Osama Bin Laden bobblehead doll
205. Buy a pair of sneakers on Sneaker Street before it closes
206. Grab a huge bag of sour plums from Aji Ichiban
207. Own a Crocodile shirt
208. ...And tell everyone it’s Lacoste
209. Have at least three items of clothing from Giordano
210. ...Including one pre-handover t-shirt
211. Go to Watson’s and fill your basket with Panadol Extra, Ferrero Rocher and condoms.
212. Complete your office wardrobe at G2000
213. Snigger as you walk past Wanko
214. Break a shoe when you’re out and purchase a $10 pair of flip flops
215. Realize how much cheaper the wet markets are. Vow to shop there more. Fail to do so.
216. Wander hungrily around Oliver’s Delicatessen at Christmas
217. Grab a roast chicken from City’Super for dinner
218. ...And then pick up a square melon from Sogo
219. Gawp at the crazy wedding dresses on Kimberly Road
220. Buy a second-hand designer bag at Milan Station
221. Get crushed by the throng in New Town Plaza
222. Buy your daily newspaper from a street-side stall
223. Take your shoes to be fixed on Pedder Street
224. When drunk in Lan Kwai Fong, decide it’s a great idea to purchase a flashing penis badge
225. Follow a mainland tour group around Elements
226. ...Then get dragged around IFC
227. ...And then after lunch, get hauled around Megabox, too
228. Do a Park’n’shop vs. Wellcome price comparison on soy sauce
229. Pay $4 million for a 350 square foot studio in Sheung Wan
230. ...But then rent it out for double the mortgage
231. Blow your laisee money on daytime drinking over the Lunar New Year
232. Get your socks in bulk from Baleno
233. Go DIY and spend a weekend button shopping in Sham Shui Po
234. Check out the vintage gadgets on Ap Liu Street
235. Support your local musicians by buying a CD at White Noise Records
236. Fill your house up with appliances: Go to Broadway for a rice cooker
237. Hit up the Golden Arcade for some electronics
238. ...Or the Wan Chai Computer Centre
239. Purchase membership to a club that you’ll never use
240. ...Such as The FCC
241. ...Or The China Club
242. ...And if you’re really rich, The Yacht Club
243. Get caught in the rain and buy an umbrella from a cart
244. ...Or just put a plastic bag on your head
245. Dodge leaflets on Nathan Road
246. Get pickpocketed in Mong Kok
247. Trawl the factory shops in Fa Yuen Street for cut-label designer threads
248. Dress up your dog in a football shirt
249. Dress up your baby in silk brocade pajamas
250. Take cute photo stickers of yourself
251. Purchase some “under the counter” medication from your local pharmacy
252. Queue for more than 10 hours in the rain to get your hands on some commemorative stamps
253. Strut your stuff in a pair of white canvas plimsolls
254. ...Or if you’re really pushing the boat out, a pair of real kung fu shoes
255. Stroll around the open air market in Pok Fu Lam
256. ...And then visit the one in Discovery Bay
257. Buy a vintage toy in Select-18
258. Shop for board shorts, cheongsams and plus-sized shoes in Stanley Market
259. Maximize your luck with some prosperity bamboo from Flower Market Road
260. Unleash your inner geek with a cosplay costume
261. Spend an afternoon browsing in Lok Man Rare Books
262. ...or Flow, the secondhand bookstore
263. Fill your teapot at MingCha designer tea store
264. Give someone a bright pink buddha statue from Indigo
265. Rub your face against the rolls of fabric in Western Market
266. Buy nunchaku from a Mong Kok “sports” shop
267. ...While you’re there, buy a shiruken, too
268. Buy your household items from a local junk shop
269. Trade in your TV at a pawn shop
270. Browse arty books and gifts at Kubrick
271. Bulk-buy $10 DVDs of movies you’ve never heard of at a temporary DVD store
272. ...Or browse the backpack full of DVDs from that mute guy in SoHo
273. Own a copy of “Shop in Shenzhen.” Cringe when you see people waving it around in Lo Wu.
274. Stock up on hotel-quality (but cheap) towels at the Towel Store.
275. Eat a whole roasted goose at Yung Kee
276. Spend all morning having dim sum at Lin Heung Teahouse
277. ... And order chicken feet at City Hall’s dim sum restaurant
278. ...But make sure you get someone to take you for yum cha at the China Club
279. Get drunk having champagne brunch at Top Deck
280. ...Then all sentimental about the old days at Luk Yu
281. Slurp your noodles at the Gage Street dai pai dong
282. Warm up with a bottle of hot Vitasoy in the winter
283. Gorge in style at the Intercontinental’s buffet lunch
284. Fish around in a polystyrene ice box for a smoked coconut
285. Enjoy the (semi) healthy mango drink at Hui Lau Shan
286. Try Mongolian hotpot at Little Sheep
287. Pick at the scones and cucumber sandwiches at the Peninsula high tea
288. Make like ex-governor Patten and buy a box of egg tarts from Tai Cheong bakery
289. Enjoy old school Chinese Western cuisine at Boston Restaurant
290. ...Then try it again at Sammi’s Kitchen
291. ...And then compare it to Queen’s Cafe
292. ...Before finishing with some Swiss chicken wings at Tai Ping Koon
293. Sample everything on the dessert buffet at The Grand Hyatt
294. Wolf down a hotdog from Ikea
295. Drunkenly eat at Tsui Wah. Make sure you get the satay fat beef noodles.
296. For purists, have the beef brisket noodles with clear broth at Kau Kee
297. Take your date for a sizzling steak from Steak Expert
298. ...Then go by yourself to the InterCon Steak House for the ultimate steak experience
299. ...And when your date complains, take them for a quality steak at budget prices at Lardo’s, Hang Hau
300. Eat curry fishballs from a cart in Mong Kok
301. Chow down on authentic Creole ribs and pecan pie    at Magnolia
302. Eat a whole bag of old-school White Rabbit sweets
303. Have a pig-blood stew for supper
304. Decide which is best: Maxim’s, Cafe de Coral or Fairwood
305. Fret over whether to have a Hi-C or Vita lemon tea
306. Eat the super spicy Korean instant noodles with a fried egg on top
307. Visit a snake shop. Ask them to kill a snake while you wait. Then drink the soup.
308. Munch peanuts and throw the shells on the floor in Hong Kong Brewhouse. Wash them down with a beer that was brewed there, too.
309. Drink a “yinyeung” coffee and tea mixture at a cha chaan teng
310. Eat Thai food in Kowloon City
311. While you’re there, try the halal beef pancakes from one of the Muslim restaurants
312. Have a birthday party at Dan Ryan’s and order the ribs and Caesar salad
313. Grit your teeth and finally try stinky tofu
314. If you survive that ordeal, try durian
315. Gorge yourself on the free fried food platter at Prive during happy hour. Then leave as soon as the mob flocks in.
316. Eat an ice cream as you watch people run on the treadmills in California Fitness
317. Eat hairy crabs in the autumn
318. ...Then try the Shanghainese version with crab roe with pea shoots in winter
319. Have a long brunch at the original Jaspas in Stanley
320. Try the original and best lotus seed mooncake from Wing Wah
321. ...And have a Tai Pan Snowy mooncake for dessert
322. Eat watermelon slices with a festively decorated toothpick
323. Conduct a blind taste test of Circle K and 7-11 dim sum
324. Have a kebab from Beyrouth Cafe
325. Blow a year’s salary on meal at Fook Lam Moon
326. Go for a light vegetarian buffet at the Fringe and eat it on the roof garden
327. Have the onion soup at the FCC
328. Learn to make turnip cakes in time for Chinese New Year
329. Try the $150 bowl of noodles at Olala
330. ...Then compare it to the $160 kobe beef pho at Pho 26
331. Eat Peking duck at Peking Garden
332. ...Then try the one at American Peking
333. ...And compare them to the old-school one at Peking Restaurant in Jordan
334. Have a meal at the revolving restaurant on top of Hopewell Centre
335. Try the old-school style of Hainan chicken rice at Nam Ah
336. ...Then compare it to the one at Koon Thai in Aberdeen
337. ...Before going for the pricey but delicious option at the Grand Hyatt coffee shop
338. Risk your life for a great curry in Chung King Mansions
339. ...Or go down the street to Brantos for a vegetarian curry
340. Enjoy a batch of freshly made egg waffles out of a brown paper bag
341. Ring in winter with a bag of hot chestnuts
342. Eat at Ngau Kee
343. Make your own zhong
344. Enroll in a Towngas cooking class
345. Try turtle soup in Causeway Bay. Try to ignore the empty turtle shells in the corner.
346. Get a char-siu rice box from Tai Hing
347. Trek out to Sheung Shui and for some authentic Hakka food
348. While you’re there, try the famous wife cakes in Yuen Long
349. On the way back stop for roast pigeon in the Lung Wah Hotel, Sha Tin
350. Round up your Sai Kung trip with a visit to the original Honeymoon Dessert
351. Visit the seafood restaurants in Lei Yue Mun and pick your own seafood for dinner
352. Huddle under the flyover for typhoon shelter crab from Canal Street in Causeway Bay
353. Drink a bubble tea while wandering around Causeway Bay
354. Try Chiu Chow food in Queen Street, Sheung Wan
355. Suck on duck’s tongues at the Shanghai Fraternity Association
356. Pretend you’re in Shanghai with dan dan mien and xiaolongbao at Crystal Jade
357. Explore all the Thai and Chiu Chow places on Tung Lung Street
358. Attempt to eat a whole roasted suckling pig on your own
359. Order vegetarian shark’s fin
360. Order ahead for the lotus leaf rice at Tung Po
In the 80s, the government made one of its first attempts to get rid of wet markets and dai pai dongs by forcing them into multi-storey municipal service buildings. But thanks to top-quality diners like Tung Po in North Point, this kind of market dining is still alive (for now) – grab it while you still are.
361. Try the shogun burger next time it appears on the McDonald’s menu
362. Ask for the gnocchi with lemon cream sauce and pancetta at Aqua, even though it’s now off the menu
363. Eat a whole bag of Super Lemons
364. Save your money and dine only in food courts for a month
365. Try out Li Ka Shing’s personal pastry chef at the Harbour Plaza Hotel cake shop
366. Eat chicken wings at Smuggler’s in Stanley
367. ...And for mains, get Pizza Express to deliver from next door
368. Make omelets using fresh Yuen Long farm eggs
369. Buy dragon beard candy—if you can find it
370. Have a bowl of “little boat” congee and fried dough for breakfast
371. Make steamed rice with blood sausage in the winter
372. And finally, ease your stomach cramps with trumpet-brand pills
373. Head to one of the mom-and-pops stalls in Cheung Chau and have a dau fu fa: a silky smooth tofu dessert
374. Not into tofu? Try the ginger milk custard instead
375. Another dessert must-try is tang-yuan: sweet dumplings in soup, to be eaten at the Winter Solstice
376. Buy a bottle of traditionally made oyster sauce in Lau Fau Shan
377. Get smashed in Lan Kwai Fong on Halloween
378. Do it again two months later on Christmas Eve
379. ...And then a week later on New Year’s Eve
380. Sup on a cocktail in Lei Dou
381. Drunkenly fall off the bar in Carnegies
382. Check into a love hotel. Try the Eden if you’re squeamish.
383. Nurse a chocolate strawberry daiquiri from Feather Boa
384. Visit a Wan Chai strip club
385. Fall out of Homebase (Home) at dawn
386. Spend a night shooting the breeze with strangers outside Yumla
387. Sit on the step outside Staunton’s after the stock market crash
388. Buy a bottle of beer from 7-11 in Lan Kwai Fong and drink it on the street
389. Get drunk and go dancing in Insomnia
390. ...Then get a taxi to Wan Chai and jump on stage with the band at Dusk Till Dawn
391. Party with Melvis
392. Mill around outside Stormies and rock out to cheesy 90s tunes
393. If you’re a guy, pee in the urinals at Felix
394. Go to Paradiso in Shek O and    pretend you’re in Thailand
395. Remember: nothing tastes better than a Cul De Sac bacon cheeseburger at 2am
396. ...Or if you’re at the Wan Chai branch, stumbling next door to Thai hut is pretty good, too
397. Watch the 8pm light show from Aqua
398. Have a prosecco and catch the live bongo drums on Sunday nights at Goccia
399. The best Bloody Mary in town can be found at Linq
400. ...Though some have said the one at Dan Ryan’s is better
401. ...And apparently the Mexican version at Caramba is also a favorite
402. ...Or have one for a very early breakfast at Flying Pan
403. Drink dirty martinis at M Bar after work
404. Get midnight dim sum in Kennedy Town
405. Stand up for your right to sit down in Dragon-i’s public area
406. Try not to choke on Al’s Diner’s gargantuan jello shots
407. Stand in the freezer at Balalaika
408. Pick up nubile Latvian models at Volar
409. ...Or pick up several on Wednesday Model’s Nights at D-i
410. People-watch from the front table of Bacar
411. Do the fiendish pub quiz at The Globe
412. Spend a night raving in Mongkok Disco
413. Slam vodka shots at V13
414. Try out the huge range of tequilas at Agave
415. After a hike, spend all night boozing at the China Bear in Mui Wo
416. Down cheap pints behind the Deli Lamma
417. Watch the sharks swim by at M1NT
418. Enjoy jazz nights on Thursdays at Blue Bar
419. ...Or over the weekend at Vibe on Wyndham Street
420. ...Or snap your fingers the jazz night at Gecko on Wednesdays
421. Try to become the next Journey frontman by performing at  The Cavern
422. Attend a chilled-out jam session at Peel Fresco
423. ...Or go for a more raucous one at the Wanch
424. Watch the sun set on the rooftop of IFC
425. Enjoy cocktails at sea on the Aqua Luna
426. Party on at Neptune’s II
427. Network at Captain’s Bar
428. Watch the football at Dicken’s
429. Pass out in Buddha Lounge
430. Spend a romantic evening at The Peak Lookout
431. Can’t sleep? Go late night shopping at the APM Mall
432. Stay up all night playing snooker
433. Snooker too hard? Play pool at Racks instead
434. Graffiti around the Lan Kwai Fong amphitheater behind Baby Buddha
435. Go surfing at sun rise
436. Eat siu-yeh at a dai pai dong
437. Watch the swing band at Grappa’s Cellar on the first Saturday of every month
438. Go salsa dancing at Makumba
439. Test the limits of your liver with the local Irish population at Dublin Jack’s
440. Rent out a bowling lane and drink cheap beers till midnight at the South China Athletic Association
441. Check out the pole dancing at Soda on Wednesdays
442. Protect a prostitute from her pimp’s beatdown in Wan Chai
443. Be a witness to a drugs bust at Man Mo Temple
444. Drink at the alfresco bar on top of Dicovery Bay ferry pier (Pier 3)
445. Sit outside Droplet and watch the drunks rolling out of Drop
446. Smoke a late-night shisha at Mahroush
447. Network with drunk journos at the FCC
448. Have a beer in Club 71 and pet the rabbit. Pet Longhair if he’s there, too.
449. Pass out on Lamma power station beach after a hippie rave
450. Attend a “dance party” at Hitec
451. Play mahjong loudly in your flat until the neighbors call the police
452. See if you can get a tattoo while drunk at Ricky and Pinky’s
453. Get your fortune told on Temple Street
454. Go celebrity spotting at Happy Valley late-night eateries
455. Peal down the New Territories highways in a convertible
456. Pull over at one of the rest stops on Peak Road and enjoy the view
457. Watch the 3:30am screening at the Chinachem Cinema in Tsim Sha Tsui
458. Join the Aussies milling around outside Wagyu
459. Enjoy drinks at Le Jardin. Order food from Rat Alley downstairs
460. Play open mic night at The Wanch
461. Read Johannes Pong’s Nightlife column
462. Heckle the late-night basketball players at Southorn Playground
463. Watch the markets come to life at dawn
464. Listen to the Welsh choir performing at the Old China Hand on Tuesdays
465. Go on a TST bar crawl. Start at Knutsford Terrace and finish on Mody Road.
466. Go to a Moonlight Movie at Cyberport
467. Puke up on a late night ferry on the way home
468. Have a foot massage at Happy Foot
469. Get a cutthroat shave at the Mandarin Barber
470. Have your eyebrows threaded
471. Enjoy a show at the Director’s Club cinema
472. Follow Bill Clinton and Tony Blair’s footsteps with a suit from Sam’s Tailor
473. Test drive a Maserati
474. Book yourself into the Peninsula. Arrive via the helicopter pad.
475. Sneak into the Four Seasons pool and listen to the underwater music
476. Spend a day at the Landmark Mandarin Spa
477. Get a Brazilian at Nude
478. ...And a $110 full leg wax at Khubsoorat in Mirador Mansions
479. Ink up with a dragon on your back at Chynese Tattoo
480. Sip on a beautifying bird’s nest soup
481. Cure your ailments with acupuncture
482. Buy the divine room scent oil from Shanghai Tang
483. Get tipsy with a champagne manicure at Drop
484. Rid yourself of calluses with a Shanghai-style pedicure
485. Try out double eyelid tape
486. Drink XO and green tea all night long
487. Eat an entire box of mooncakes
488. Bid for an auspicious number plate
489. Spend a night in the Hyatt’s Plateau spa
490. Get a set of acrylic nails in manipedi
491. Join Quintessentially and have your life organized for you
492. Undergo a colonic
493. Get a celebrity haircut at Kim Robinson Salon
494. Flutter away with permanent eyelash extensions
495. Endure a sadistic massage from a tiny Chinese woman
496. Get season tickets to the ballet
497. Get something pierced in Tsim Sha Tsui
498. Own a multi-functional mobile phone and never use any of the functions
499. Employ three maids to cook your meals, do your household chores and wash your car
500. Take a boozy bath in Sense of Touch, Lan Kwai Fong
If you would rather pour alcohol onto your body than into it, head upstairs to Sense of Touch in Lan Kwai Fong to try their alcohol-inspired treatments. Try a dark ale bath followed by a barley scrub, a sake bath and rice scrub, a wine bath with a red grape scrub or their specialty, a jello shot facemask. Kidding. If that’s not enough to get you going on the weekends, then at least you can unwind by imbibing a beer or six at Stormies next door. 1/F, 52 D’Aguilar St., Central, 2526-6918.
501. Get an old lady to professionally beat up paper effigies of your enemies
502. Hire a professional mourner
503. Become a professional mourner. Get extra tips by squeezing some tears out.
504. While you’re feeling morbid, buy yourself a grave marker. Put your mugshot on it and cover it with a piece of red paper. Someone will pull it off when you’re dead.
505. Walk along the Avenue of Stars on Valentine’s Day and gawp at the ridiculous bouquets
506. Go negative on your Octopus and leave the city—for good
507. Try and fail to put on a popular music festival
508. Give money to a guy impersonating a monk
509. Buy a doll from a mute volunteer
510. Watch the fireworks from a junk
511. Have a tram party and find out what happens when you need to go to the toilet
512. Crash a fashion party at Watermark and get free champagne
513. Put your life savings on a random horse at the races
514. Or save $20 for a Mark Six ticket
515. Lose a tooth on a Hi-Chew
516. Say hi to your neighbor
517. Model for a mainland clothing catalogue
518. Participate in a TVB game show
519. Play arcade games all afternoon
520. Ride the MTR during rush hour
521. For an extra thrill, rush across the Admiralty platform
522. ...Then give your seat to an old lady
523. Take the tram all the way from Kennedy Town to Shau Kei Wan
524. Visit one of the last remaining porno cinemas
525. Go ice skating at Festival Walk
526. Get arrested in a protest
527. ...And get strip-searched
528. Go to jail, then run for a seat in the government
529. Be a backseat driver in a taxi
530. Get drunk, get in a cab, attempt to lean out the window to puke and break the window in the process
531. Hail a taxi for a 500 meter ride
532. Make one of your New Year’s resolutions “thinner, whiter, richer”
533. Run up the “down” escalators
534. Finally overcome your cockroach phobia
535. Learn to say “I love you” in Tagalog and say it to your maid
536. Have a Eurasian baby
537. Tell everyone you were an extra in The Dark Knight
538. Go grab the free dried seafood floating down Des Voeux Road West during the next flash flood
539. Lose your shirt on the SuperStar Virgo Cruise casino.
540. ...Then lose your jeans in a Macau casino
541. Line up for something free (the longer queue the better)
542. ...Then sell whatever you were given on eBay
543. Apply for five extra credit cards just for the promotional gifts
544. Smile at your building’s night watchman
545. Wave to the CCTV in the shops
546. Get on a cable car on Lantau, give the finger to the camera and check yourself out on the TV screen on your way out
547. ...Of course, don’t buy a copy of it
548. Vote for the Chief Executive in 2017
549. ...And write “Andy Lau” on your ballot
550. Hang out your washing on a bamboo pole. The grayer your underwear, the better.
551. Go to the jellyfish exhibit at Ocean Park
552. Wear a hat with an umbrella on top while visiting Ocean Park, rain or shine
553. Get married in Hong Kong Park
554. Have a feng shui master redecorate your house
555. Open a private kitchen
556. Ride the Mid-Levels escalator from start to finish
557. Take the Star Ferry to cross the harbor
558. ...Then walk down Nathan Road
559. Be a regular patron of a shop with a name ending with “kee”
560. Own a pair of Crocs
561. Make fun of someone wearing Crocs
562. Watch a mask-changing magician’s performance
563. Teach a foreigner a dirty word in Cantonese
564. Call a congee place for a bowl of $5 congee and beg them to deliver
565. Bitch about Donald Tsang on a phone-in radio program
566. Write to the Town Planning Board in opposition to an Urban Renewal Authority redevelopment plan
567. Visit the Graham Street Market
568. ...Watch a chicken get slaughtered there
569. ...And then watch a fish getting beheaded
570. Buy lots of random crap in a shopping center because you can enter a lucky draw when you spend $1,000
571. Wear the same t-shirt as your boyfriend/girlfriend and parade down the street
572. Write a letter to HK Magazine
573. Insist on waiting for the green light even though everyone else is jaywalking across a deserted road
574. Doze off on a cross-harbor bus, miss your stop in Mong Kok and end up in Tin Shui Wai
575. Get a new ID card with a nicer mugshot by “losing” the old one
576. Don’t throw away your blunt knife. Carry it around in the hope of bumping into a roaming knife sharpener.
577. Buy a three-storey holiday house for $500,000 in Guangdong.
578. Learn a third Chinese dialect other than Cantonese and Mandarin
579. File a judicial review on any random Hong Kong policy that you are upset about. Enlist Long Hair’s help.
580. Stage a protest with your best friend outside of Government Headquarters. So what if it’s just the two of you?
581. Protest your right to wear fur, naked
582. Send the Bible to the Obscene Articles Tribunal
583. Put your Crackberry aside for a day
584. Live in a flat that’s cheaper than everyone else’s because it faces a cemetery
585. Spend 3 months in a serviced apartment
586. Have a second family in Shenzhen
587. ...And a third one in Dongguan
588. Write a first-person account on prostitution in Wan Chai for a local newspaper and complain about how you got ripped off
589. Volunteer at Mother’s Choice and look after some babies
590. ...And then adopt one
591. Donate your blood to the Red Cross
592. Give away your children’s old clothes to Po Leung Kuk
593. ...And give your own to the Salvation Army
594. Too lazy to go drop off your clothes? Look out for the Hong Kong Recycling Company’s Yellow Bus and drop off your clothes there.
595. Stay awake during jury duty
596. Forget the fancy pet shops; rescue a dog from the SAA
597. If you can’t handle the commitment, foster a puppy or kitten for 8 weeks instead
598. Join the YMCA
599. ...Or the YWCA
600. Help out at an old people’s home
601. Too much work? Sponsor a child through the Christina Noble Foundation
602.  Join in Community Chest’s Walk for Millions
603. Lead a boy scout troupe
604. Volunteer for the St. John’s Ambulance
605. Stop prank-calling the Samaritans. It’s not funny.
606. ...Then do the one-month training course so you can start manning the phones yourself
607. Donate food to St. James’ Settlement food bank
608. Buy a table at the KELY support group’s annual ball
609. Do the Oxfam Trailwalker
610. Give your spare change to a beggar
611. Join Clear The Air
612. Man a stall at St. John Cathedral’s Christmas fair
613. Join Friends of the Harbour
614. Be an unpaid bird tour guide (Birding Pal) with the Hong Kong Bird Watching Society
615. Stop shutting the elevator door on people
616. Play in the Tung Wah Hospital Group golf tournament
617. Spend your summer teaching English with SummerBridge
618. Dine at an Igor’s restaurant where the $1 added to your bill goes straight to the Children’s Surgical Centre
619. Volunteer at Unicef
620. Give your old phones away to The Society for Community organization. So long as they work, that is.
621. Give away your old computer to Project CompuAid, who will donate them to the elderly and disabled
622. Read aloud for the blind at the Centralized Braille Production Centre
623. A rock star or celebrity of some sort? Volunteer to make someone’s dreams come true with the Make-a-Wish Foundation
624. Go clean the Ronald McDonald House, which provides accommodation to sick children and their families. Their upkeep depends entirely on volunteers.
625. Maintain the Mai Po Marshes with the WWF
626. Forgo your Christmas trip to Bali and help out with Operation Santa Claus instead
627. Help a granny up one of Hong Kong’s never-ending staircases
628. ...And don’t forget to carry her shopping bag
629. Support the Animals Asia campaign to stop moon bear bile farms
630. Give up shark’s fin
631. ...And rhino horns, deer penises and giant abalone
632. Encourage visiting guests to avoid all the ivory shops
633. Can’t imagine how poor someone can be? Join in the Cedar Fund’s annual Barefoot Walk to walk a mile in someone’s shoes... or lack thereof.
634. Buy the reusable grocery bags at City’Super
635. And actually remember to take it shopping
636. Save a street market
The Graham Street Market has been an ongoing battleground between the Urban Renewal Authority and various concern groups since the URA announced plans to build office blocks in its place back in 2007. And while the outlook is grim, campaigners continue to fight for its preservation. The most recent alternative plan was submitted by the Central and Western Concern Group, which called for a rezoning of the area stretching from Wellington Street to Caine Road, in an attempt prevent unchecked destruction of the historical neighborhood. If you want to get involved, email savethestreetmarket@gmail.com and find out how you can help. More information can be found online at www.savethestreetmarket.com.
637. Actually remember to turn off your lights during the next Lights Out Campaign
638. Donate a building to Hong Kong University and have it named after you
639. Sign your organ donor card
640. Volunteer at a hospital
641. Help out the kids by going to Variety’s Halloween Ball
642. Bolster our oft-complained about arts scene and volunteer at The Fringe Club
643. Plant a tree
644. Brighten up grim hospitals by participating in Art in Hospital
645. Clean up a beach
646. Vote during the next Legco elections
647. Be a volunteer caretaker for the Hong Kong Reptile and Amphibian Society
648. Give free haircuts for the poor and elderly at the St. James’ Settlement welfare centre
649. Become a Healthy Young Ambassador and educate people about AIDS with the Hong Kong AIDS Foundation
650. Gain longevity by practicing tai chi in Kowloon Park
651. Jog along Bowen Road
652. Yank your dog away from the Bowen Road dog killer’s poisoned food
653. Meet somebody special at Lover’s Rock (end of Bowen Road)
654. Stroll around in your pajamas with a birdcage
655. Walk under the wall trees along Forbes Street, Kennedy Town
656. Hunt ghosts on Barker Road or Ship Street
657. Race a worker up some scaffolding
658. Surf at Shek O’s Big Wave Bay
659. Compare the waves at the other Big Wave Bays (one in Sai Kung, two in Lantau)
660. Windsurf at Cheung Chau
661. Wakeboard in Tai Tam
662. Sail at Hebe Haven
663. Kayak to the Sokos Islands
664. Join the Dragon Boat race
665. Watch the lifeguards do nothing but pretend to look cool
666. Sunbathe nude
667. Swim up to the shark nets and taunt the sharks
668. Get stung by a jellyfish and ask a stranger to pee on you
669. Rent/buy a bike at the Friendly Bike shop in Mui Wo     (behind the McDonald’s) and ask them to recommend a route
670. Pick lychee and dragonfruit in Yuen Long
671. Dig for mussels in Mui Wo
672. Dig for clams in Yuen Long
673. Dig for shrimp in Sai Kung
674. Catch a sea urchin in Sai Kung
675. Catch a squid in Clear Water Bay
676. Deep sea fish
677. Fish off a pier
678. Fish in a reservoir
679. Hunt wild boar
680. Chirp through Yuen Po Street Bird Garden
681. Monkey around Shing Mun Reservoir
682. Birdwatch at the Mai Po Marshes
683. Flutter through Tai Po’s Butterfly Garden
684. Stalk the beast of Hong Kong Park
685. Visit the pandas at Ocean Park
686. See a white-faced Saki at the Botanical Gardens
687. See Pui Pui the crocodile at the Wetland Park
688. Try to spot a shark at dawn
689. Hope to see a pink dolphin at Sha Chau and Lung Kwu Chau Marine Park
690. Sneak past the guard at Sham Wan beach and wait all summer for a glimpse of a giant turtle
691. Ride a glass-bottomed boat through the Hoi Ha Marine Park
692. Tip feral water buffalo on Lantau
693. Get attacked by a Lantau wolf spider
694. Throw up at Disneyland
695. Get bitten by a snake
696. Report an urban snake to snake handler Dave Willot on 2328-2526
697. Hike Dragon’s Back
698. Hike every inch of the Hong Kong, Wilson, Maclehose and Lantau Trails
699. Protest the latest concrete trail by sidestepping it and using the dirt path instead
700. Discover an ancient stone trail
701. Visit a rural village
702. Get warded off by the guard dogs at a rural village
703. Get lost on the mountain and airlifted out by helicopter
704. Climb the Shek O sea cliffs
705. Climb Lion Rock
706. Evil Knievel down Tai Mo Shan on a mountain bike
707. Paraglide over Shek O
708. Survive an Outward Bound survival course
709. Scuba dive in Port Shelter
710. Wheeze through the Standard Chartered Marathon
711. Ride upfront on the top deck of the bus to Stanley
712. Breakdance in Statue Square on a Sunday
713. Busk on a footbridge in Central
714. Join a Falun Gong protest at the Tsim Sha Tsui Star Ferry
715. Become one-fifth of the population at Ap Chau, Hong Kong’s sparsest island
716. Crash and burn at the annual Pedal Kart Grand Prix
717. Swim across Victoria Harbor
718. Set stuff on fire at the beach on Mid-Autumn Festival
719. Bridge jump at Tai Tam Reservoir
720. Raid the pirate’s cave in Cheung Chau
721. Go rollerskating during Typhoon 8
722. Join the Matilda Sedan Chair race
723. Have a BB gun war
724. Snap a picture of Bride’s Pool waterfall
725. Give chase with the Hash House Harriers
726. Play badminton in the park
727. Explore the rock pools in Tung Ping Chau
728. Hit a bullseye or injure a gateball player at the Tuen Mun Archery Range Cum Gateball Court
729. Carry a lantern up to the Peak
730. Admire the view from the Peak on a clear day
731. Have a rooftop party and draw a noise complaint
732. Hide under an umbrella in long sleeves on a sunny day
733. Have a “holiday” at the Lady Maclehose Holiday Village
734. Camp out at Tung Ping Chau campsite
735. Improve your handicap at the Jockey Club Kau Sai Chau Public Golf course
736. Saddle up at the Pok Fu Lam Public Riding School
737. Serve on the same courts as the pros at Victoria Park
738. Do a kickflip at Mei Foo Skatepark
739. Get busted for skating anywhere else
740. Light off firecrackers at a playground
741. Have a country park barbecue
742. Take a Seafari powerboat ride
743. Get sunburned on a six-hour junk trip
744. Climb up the Four Seasons Hotel and call yourself Spiderman
745. Jump off IFC II and call yourself Batman
746. Conduct a bacteria/E. coli count at a public pool
747. Use the New Territories cycling path
748. Ride with a local motorcycle gang
749. Fret about dengue fever and other mosquito-borne diseases
750. Visit the Big Buddha