Is it just me or does any other female on here think Rob Lok (see his profile pic at the right under Fan of) look like he's a boobie honker?  I swear to God everytime I see that photo I think the man is reaching through the net to grab my breasts like a perverted old man near the melons in the market.   My reflexes automatically take over as I move my arm to block what looks like a painful encounter.  He's coming in and there's nothing you can do to stop him.  Dang pervy clown.  If I knew his mailing address, I'd order him some fake business cards:  

edit: Sorry about the length.  I got in a good bamble!

Yesterday was a bad work day.  It was one of those days when no matter how fast or hard you work you make no headway. You have work pushed on you that you usually don't do and you feel like you have no clue what's happening.  We've all had days like that unless, of course, you're independently wealthy living off of the work of your robberbaron great grandfather, in which case, adopt me.   As soon as I finished I started listening to music and surfing the net.  No shopping because no money.  Otherwise, there'd be some Amazon or Yesasia boxes wheeling my way, I'm sure.  (I'm weak.  I admit it.)  Instead I listened to music.  Bad music that I love.  Good music that I like.  Great music that feeds my soul.  There was Paganini  (I had typed panini until I realized that it's a sandwich, lol) & Schubert, Mr. Tye & The Neptunes, Clazziquai & Brown Eyed Soul, and Fahrenheit & those 3 good looking Taiwanese guys with their smexy American friend among others. 

The first few pieces and/or songs I listened to made me sad.  I was literally crying at one point.  It all started with my listening to "Love Non-Stop" sung by Ken Zhu of F4.  (The song is featured in Wish to See You Again, a drama that let me down unfortunately.  Horrible lead actress.  Rushed writing of the lead male which caused his character's personality to flip flop like a fish out of water.  It's only saving grace was the fantastic supporting cast whose stories lacked closure.)   Anyway, I moved on to "Goodbye" by L2M.  I stupidly followed it by listening to those 4 F's singing their version of Goodbye not once but 3x.  It felt like I was finally saying goodbye to my dear friend, Lisa, who died of cancer almost a year ago.  The song isn't really about that type of goodbye, but the emotionality brought through by the harmony of the F4 version just made me overwhelmingly sad.  Actually, it was Ken's and Van's voices that did me in.  Their voices pair together exceedingly well.  Too well.  I became a puddle.  I wanted to kick them both in the shins.  It didn't help that I followed "Goodbye" with other sad listenings that all began to blur into one giant snotball.  (ewwww I know right?)

To get me out of it, I said to myself, 'Jiro Wang will lift your mood.'  Mind you he usually does when I'm looking at him and not listening to him sing, but I gave it a go.  Fahrenheit rawr!  It didn't work.  I then said to self, 'That damn F4 got you into it, J to the V to da K to the V best get you out.'  They did along with the aforementioned Fahrenheit, et al.  That took me right to 8pm and Heroes.   A few hours later I was back listening to music.  Like a good friend with a mean sense of humor iTunes shuffled straight to F4.  Seriously.  Over 1000 mp3s on this computer and it decides 'hey let's play those 4 handsome guys that had her in tears 3 hours ago.'  This time it kept it lighter and I was able to kill the Mandarin language (and a few eardrums) while singing the Ally version of "Zai Zhe Li Deng Ni."  Man, I can kill a song.  Killed it dead I did.  I wouldn't be surprised if the file never plays again, lol.  After 2 F4's it played one song per V (-anNess & -ic) before moving on to classic Phila Soul from the 70s.

Jump to my jarring awakening this morning.  One of those dagnabbit Flower Four guys crept their sexy self into my head while I was asleep and did unspeakly naughty things to me.  I think he's done it before without my remembering.  It'd explain the herniated neck.  TRUST ME!  It would.  On top of that I was awake 2 hours early.  TWO HOURS!!  After taking 10 minutes to pillow talk myself ... what?  It went something like this:

WTF was that?
Dude, I do not know. 
Damn. 
Right!
If he's half as good as my imagination.. woo lawd.
His woman's a happy camper.
B*tch betta be. 
I'm ready to get up and make breakfast.
I'll take an omelette.

Then, I started laughing.  It was funny.  I guess you had to be there.  Anyway, I fell back to sleep, and could barely raise myself when the alarm went off.  It was like Day of the Living Dead up in here except without the insatiable drive to eat human flesh.  (I originally typed hunger for human flesh, but I wasn't giving you people any extra fodder for your cannons.  Hear that MissKelly?  Do ya?  Huh?)  Anywho, I'm swearing off the pretty mens of F4 until the end of the year.  That's it!  I'm done.  No more tv shows.  No more music.  No more movies.  (I watched Linger the other day.  It's really good.)  No picking with egg lovin' Monsieur Pussycat.  Nuthin'!  This I command.  [Yul Bryner stance] So it said. *clap* So it shall be done. *stomp* [/YBs]  EXCEPT I've gotta finish Momo Love (with Ken in the cast) & Autumn Concerto (starring Van) first.   And see if yesasia has Van's cd and the movie he did with Sammo Hung.  (I loves Sammo.  He's got such a sweet little round pinchy the cheeks face.  And the man is limber.  I'm not much for older men, but he makes you wonder.)  But then!  Haha!  DONE!  No mas until 2010.  I did it with, uh..um..ok hollup.. I forgot the group's name but I did it.  And it's been 2 whole months since I've listened to Ringo Shiina.  I can do eet!  Done with Wu, Zhu, Zhou, and Yan.  El finito.  Totally and completely... anybody buying this?

It's time for this pisces to dig in and make things happen.  My trip to HK, Tai Pei, and KL has been pushed back, but, if I dig in and barring any unforeseen crap I tend to step in, I can hopefully be there for Limberlake's birthday next year.  EVENTHOUGH part of me wants to change my trip back to the original Japan.  One friend from college has moved to Hawai'i but I can still visit her family and the other told me I could stay in his extra room.  I do want to stay at an onsen and in a Ryokan, but I don't mind saving money either.  The only problem is my friend, let's call him Tetsuya (cuz that's his name, lol), used to have a crush on me.  His current girlfriend is, shall we say, touched in the head.  Somehow I have a yellow sign flashing in the traffic signal of my mind.  The last thing I need is to be in some un-threesome in another country.  It would be one thing to be arrested for say finding Ikki Sawamura *le sigh I lovey he* and sticking my tongue in his dimples without permission.  I'd be partially alright with that.  It would be quite another to be arrested for whopping a witches ass in her man's apartment.  Don't 'cha think?  Now that I've typed that HK, TP, KL trip sounds a lot safer.  It still has the 'family must keep bail money on hand' side, but not the 'she's gonna wind up in stupid drama and lose her temper' aspect. 

Tetsuya still has some strange relationship with his ex-wife.  They're marriage could go into the hall of strange.  I'm 99% sure she's a lesbian though so I'm not worried about her.  I dunno what it is with my friends dating/marrying closeted gay people.  I think they all scared me into singeldom.  My friends all moved home and just screwed up the picking of the spouses/ significant others.  Did I ever tell you my best friend kept dating gay guys?  Yup, 'tis true.  I personally outted 4 of them to her.   The nelliest of which refused to admit it so we had to plan an unveiling of truth to her.  Actually another friend who is gay did it by bringing her to a "hook up" party pretending like he didn't know what it was so she could see her man in the corner with someone else's man.   I was proud of her though.  She didn't freak.  She stayed ever the lady, pretended like she did not see him, stayed in the room until he became uncomfortable before she left and went home.  Me? I would have lost my ever loving mind.  Next day's headlines: American Bangs Boi's Head Into Wall.  My gaydar is well honed, but I could have an off moment.  When she got married I travelled to her country at my own non-group rated expense to make sure she was not engaged to another homosexual.  Thank God she wasn't.   Funny thing, she's the only one of our group that is still married.  Seriously, everyone who got married is now divorced.    Wait, how'd I get on this subject?  *hangs head*  My train is easily derailed.

Soooooooooo........Yeah....

I'm going to have to put myself on a strict budget.  hee That made me giggle.  I'm need to find discipline.  I used to have it.  No clue where it went.  No hanging out on Amazon checking the deals.  No buying cuz I may need that one day.  Man, this is gonna be a blue Christmas, but a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.  Next year I don't want to be wishing that I had a set intinerary.  I want to have one.  I don't want to be reading about what my Stooges were up to.  I want to have been there.   I don't want to be wishing that I had a plan to track down D'Artagne and steal his jewelry.  (My kidnap Vic Zhou and tie him to the bed plan has changed to mug.. er.. hug Van and steal indefinitely borrow his accessories plan.  The lock Takeshi Kaneshiro up in my closet plan is still a go.)  I probably should delete that.  Don't tell.  K?  ssshhhh

edit 11/3:  THERE WILL BE NO SHARING OF THE KANESHIRO!

Apparently Japan's social and economic changes have opened up a new hole in the Japanese society.  A hole that is being filled by agencies whose sole purpose is to fill in familial or friend gaps.  No best man?  Hire a guy to be the best man.  You're kids haven't a father?  Hire one or an uncle.  Are you without a girlfriend to impress the boss?  Here she is. 

Didn't I just say I'd be a great beard for a gay celeb?  This is even better.  Floating around having all the fun with none of the problems.  Alright, maybe mourning at a funeral (I'd turn that down) isn't my idea of fun, but I like weddings.  LOL 

Yes.  Yes, I know.  This is not a laughing matter.  *evil grin*  It's a sad societal statement and not just about my beloved Nihong.  I'm sure there's a market here and in most industrialized nations.  Hell, there are probably companies here that provide the same services.  You have to admit something has gone horribly wrong when a market for rent a friend pops up.  I'm not talking rent-a-ho, but rent-a-buddy, sibling, parent.  Before you disappear deep in thought (would I/wouldn't I?), let's not forget, the attractive ex standin that is to make the current boyfriend jealous so his devotion doesn't wane.  That's straight out of a drama.  That's at least worth a couple tsk tsks and a chuckle.

source

I've often said to people 'you don't want to get in my head because there's a lot of stuff flying around in there and you might get hit.'   In one of my old incarnations a reader told me I had a mind like an Escher drawing and said I had Twisty Innards.  I actually had a section of my site called Twisty Innards where I'd post whatever craziness came to mind at the time.  After being downsized in September 2001 (nothing to do with the Towers just greed) I kept being asked what I wanted to do.  A Millionaire asked me and I had no clue.  Now, he's having financial difficulties (idjit married a golddigger w/o a pre-nup in a 50/50 state and now they're divorced).  I can't say, "I wanna produce a movie or tv show & write a book.  Gimme money."   Anywho, I sat down to write a list.  What kind of jobs do I want.   What am I good at?  It was pure me aka straight throwed.  What does that mean?  It means I have a mind like a Escher drawing.  (I swear it's taking all I have not to type Etcher Sketch.  See?  Throwed.)  I might dig it up and post it here one day.  You guys might get a kick out of it.   I think one job was rich bitch housewife while another was beard for gay celebrity.   Seriously, I'd make the best beard ever!

Check this out... I've totally lost my train.  I'm derailed.  I have no friggin clue what the heck I was gonna say.  *backtracking* woo ooo woo ooo  I guess since I'm backtracking it should be ooo woo ooo woo   (ooo oow ooo oow?)  Don't laugh at me.  You shouldn't make fun of the mentally challenged.   OK  This all started because I just told Miss Rachel that I was the Pied Piper of 'tarded and that's why I drive the short yellow bus.  I'm a beacon for short yellow bus riders everywhere.  Give me your sick.  Your tired.  Your sick & tired.  And speschule kids everywhere.   (Says the 4am bambler.  Nope not high on meds or anything else for that matter.)  Holy Hannah could you imagine my mind on drugs?  My mind!!  That's it!  I remember.   *Train on track*

Sometimes I come up with some killer ideas if I do say so myself.  Ideas that I do nothing with.   Ideas that eventually I see done (completely wrong) by others eventually.  Now, that I want to do something with one that I think would make a good show, I can not get my thoughts together.  They're all over the place.  I'm having trouble self editing, which is usually not a big problem for me.   I think the problem is I have diverging stories and I don't know which I like the best or how to bring them together.   And, yes, a bit of fear that I can't do it.  Until I can see it in the mist of my mind, I can't write it.   It's probably because I'm stressed the heck out over work and the hernias.   I want to quit, but I no longer have the funds to survive.  I'm my only support.   (Husbands are good for some things I guess.)  GAH!  I'm giving myself a headache.   I've got to make the whirling whizzing ideas slow down so I can move them around at will.  I've got to control my inner computer.  Maybe I should call it an iBrain Touch.   Is that copyright infringement?  How 'bout an aBrain Whirly?  That'd be specific to me, I believe.  Oh well, I'll figure things out.  I have no other choice but to.

And this my lovely chickens is a perfect example of a bamble (allyese for babble + ramble).  I don't babble.  I don't ramble.  I bamble.  And aren't you lucky I do?