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  Thursday, Jul 3, 2008 7:59AM / Standard Entry / Members only
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  Back in the USofA.  Sure enough, isn't Hong Kong.  I have to watch my back a little more closely, find medical insurance, fund auto insurance, and pay nearly $5/gallon for gas...and find a DD or pay a taxi through my nose if I want to go out.
  
  But I'm kickin' in California this summer, back in the place where this devil was born.  Aside from the fires and the aforementioned realities, it's been beautiful.  A very good start to the path of health recovery.  I haven't coughed in weeks!  And I'm sleeping and eating good food.  And working out OUTSIDE, ha!
  
  I'm taking biochemistry at Cal and working at Cal Performances again for the summer.  GO BEARS!  It's great to reconnect with people and old friends, but nix on the cut-throat and/or immature undergrads.  I mean, being 19 and an undergrad exploring your interests and yourself and other people is a very important thing.  It's just odd for me to be thrown back into it and to see these kids from a perspective of having been out of school for a little time.  Being away from school made me appreciate that you're there to learn about something.  It's not JUST about the degree, or satisfying requirements for med-school.  I thank the stars that I made it through and do have the degree but if I could've paid more attention in class, I would have.  It's been nostalgic to be back here, but because I'm not actually in a full-fledged degree program with an end-point set up for me and I'm surrounded by people mostly younger than me, it's hard not to feel like I'm spinning my wheels a little bit.
  
  Funny thing about the arts - you usually have to set up your own goals, schedule, work, class, insurance, friends, you name it.  And it might mean you're moving around a lot, which means both seeing a lot of places and not feeling settled anywhere.  A worldly, creative homeless person.  A lot of life experience and likely not a lot of money.  Surrounded by a lot of great people, but probably not much time to see them because you don't live there or you're in rehearsal/work.  Would I have it any other way?  No.  But I'm a masochist and I feel as though I really have no choice.  I feel like I'm dying if I'm not involved in the performing arts.
  
  For the past couple of years, I'd say I was moving pretty aggressively ahead - and loving it.  I like to move quickly.  Thoroughly and efficiently, but quickly.  Hong Kong was that for me.  I got to do an awful lot in a pretty short amount of time and I met some really great people.  I even had some old friends around me (hint, hint AnD), which was really nice. It wore me out, but damn the ride was fun.  And I was working completely in the performing arts.
  
  And now things have slowed down considerably.  Yes, I am back in school, for science and not the arts.  Yes, I am transitioning.  Yes, I'm confident I will come out of it shortly.  I'm just taking the time to notice the strangeness of my liminal state.  I miss my job in HK, I miss my friends.  I don't regret my decision, though - I haven't been back here long enough to give it enough of a shot to make that kind of evaluation yet.  What I do know is that I don't like devoting myself completely to academic science.  I would like science to be a good part of my life, but CERTAINLY not everything.
  
  So I'm going dancing, going to take dance classes (that don't have to be ballet and are at an advanced/professional level), taking a voice and IPA class, looking for voice work, and when I get to Providence/Boston I'm auditioning for everything of interest available.  As for paying the bills, I'm hoping I can find something coordinating or managing at a performing arts venue or a health center.  I'd also like to teach yoga. 
  
  So that's it.  I'm reconnecting enough to be reassured and to reevaluate, but moving away too quickly to be able to plant roots and explore.  All I can do is plan for root-planting :)  Despite the chaos, things were pretty steady in HK.  Here's to finding that again soon. 
  

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