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J&J Project - J vs J vs Y
Sunday, Mar 9, 2008 3:13PM / Standard Entry / Fictitious
Inspired mostly by Jet Li on the Mirth of Working with Jackie Chan on Forbidden Kingdom while the last portion inspired by what Tsui Hark says about how She Ain't Mean came about.
Jackie: Quick, lift up your feet.
Jet: Huh?
Jackie: I need to know what to say next.
Jet: You mean you pasted the notes underneath my shoes?
Jackie: Yes, there isn’t any more room on your costumes. Quick, lift up your feet.
Jet: But, how did you slip them from under my nose?
Jackie: No, not your nose. I couldn't stuff anything there. Besides, even if I could, I wouldn't be able to see. There're under your shoes.
Jet: I mean how did you do that without my knowing.
Jackie: That's the mysticism of Drunken Boxing, it's something you wouldn't be able understand.
Jet: But I've learned it too.
Jackie: What you learnt in Last Hero in China can't be compared to mine. I've fully mastered everything in Drunken Master.
Jet: But... we all learned the same thing from Eighth Master.
Jackie: Eighth Master was secretly holding something back. He didn't teach us everything. He's saving the best for himself. But I managed to learn all on the sly, observing him sercretly and stole his manual. That's why he wouldn't want to work with me anymore. He feared that I might steal all his trade secrets. It's on your account that he's willing to work with me this time around. But he's always on his guard now.
Pooooof. Mist. Eighth Master appears all of sudden from out of nowhere and whispers to Jet Li: When he does that, you do that, followed by that and finish off with that. Get it?
Eighth Master goes back to his director's seat.
Jackie Chan: What did he say?
Jet Li: He told me not to tell you. It's trade secret.
Jackie Chan: Never mind, lift up your legs.
Jet Li: Ok.
... and several minutes later, Jackie Chan is sprawling on all four.
Jackie Chan: How could you do that? We're supposed to end up in a draw.
Jet Li: I'm sorry. I didn't know you didn't know. It's Eighth Master, he says...
Pooooof. Mist. Eighth Master appears again and interrupts: Yes?
Jackie Chan: But that's not part of the scrīpt.
Eighth Master: There is a change of plan. I got the agreement from the director.
Laughing maniacally, Eighth Master mutters to himself: He has no choice anyway under my "gentle persuasion".
Eighth Master: That'll teach you who's the boss around here and to show some respect to The Peerless Maestro of Martial Arts (Choreography). Did you think I, The Peerless Maestro of Martial Arts (Choreography), would not be aware of what you were up to back then? I purposely let you steal the wrong manual. It only teaches you how to do silly things. But what I miscalculated was that the silly antics you do in the movies are what make you so successful today. So, you still owe me one either way.
Jackie and Jet bow in reverence to the ever so wise Eighth Master, The Peerless Maestro of Martial Arts (Choreography), The Transcendent Choreographer Beyond Compare.
