My worries (or rather my Oppressions)

Having a super lonely night and none of my friends are online.  Its almost 1 AM and I've been bored out of my mind since 10 PM ish.  It's frustrating how I have nothing to do and that none of my friends are online.  That leaves too much time to think about that email that I have to send out asking my professor how I did in the class.  I am really anxious about that A and I really hope that I can get that good grade.  Drowning it all with these dramas and shows etc is so superficial and not working because I'm still bored.  I need to write more blogs because so much happens to me in such a short amount of time.

Its the summer and yet there is absolutely no one I really want to hang out with.  No driving force that says "yes! Let's do something together today."  I mean don't get me wrong.  I have gone out this summer but usually its spur of the moment why not kind of thing and no one can think of anything to do.  I have yet to have something planned out and enjoyed a great night or day.  My highlight of the summer is still probably catching that crab at the shore .  I need to find a job or something because its that sense of potential notbeing used that's wasting me away and going to eventually wither me away to nothing and kill me. 

It's not that I'm not thankful for a vacation but I just feel that I am so horrible at planning and organizing.  I just want to do something more intensive.  I'm the type that needs a schedule and dneeds to be constantly busy.  Perhaps its just this sudden frustration of no one I like talking to being online.  I miss my social life, or rather the life I had when my best friends and I lived so close together and we saw each other everyday.  I've become the two point one line person and apparently most of my friends are doing the same thing but they are still living close to each other so they can still spend their days together.  I don't exactly have problem with a reclusive lifestyle which is half the problem.  I've found that over these years of staying at home I've become more and more reclusive.  I suppose I'm used to the oppression

Nevermind, one thing leads to another and unhappiness builds.  Probably better if I just shut up about it and suck it up

BTW Today is my mother's birthday 

That's something I should be happy for and I should celebrate it well

Nothing but sunshine when I see her tomorrow