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LINGUISTICALISMS

Thursday, Aug 14, 2008 12:58AM / Standard Entry

what kind of motherfucking dictionary is my little cousin in korea using to study english?

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Queens is King

Tuesday, Aug 5, 2008 3:31PM / Standard Entry

homesick.

"We got giants and jets, the knicks, yanks and mets, we like much respect and sex extra wet, and high-tech dialect you ain’t catch yet"

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BenGay

Thursday, Jul 31, 2008 5:37PM / Standard Entry

the BenGay reference may have been lost on anyone not from the States... i think it's an american thing.

BenGay is basically a muscle cream and you smell it often in places where senior citizens congregate. it's that smell that makes you mad when you're on a crowded bus and you find yourself feeling simultaneously angry and guilty about being disgruntled at some poor old women who has muscle and joint pain...

it's a minty, musky, pharmaceutical smell. it's basically the western version of Tiger Balm. and if you ever told someone in the states to put that shit on an itchy, irritated rash, they'd probably look at you in horror.

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ALL PURPOSE

Wednesday, Jul 30, 2008 8:42PM / Standard Entry

i recently developed a rash on my leg and was looking for something to get over the counter to deal with the ridiculous itch. the person i was with recommended this:

it says "soothes pain. stops itching." nice, that's what i wanted...

i took it home and read the "INDICATIONS" section of the label:
"relief of bites by lice, bedbugs, mosquitoes, bees, other poisonous insects, itching ulcers, measles, irritation from shaving, headaches, pimples, numbness (????) muscle fatigue from exercise, burns"

basically, you can use this for anything short of blindness.

well, folks, it turns out that this:

is basically this:

and so of course it works. because it fucking HURTS when you put it on a rash. it burns. and stings. and then you forget that it itches. because you're in fucking PAIN. i mean, is it really ok to market this stuff as an "anti itch" cream? it's friggin' BenGay for pete's sake. smells like bengay, feels like bengay, and i imagine, if you ever put BenGay on a rash, this is what it would burn like. just because it technically does what you say it will (it did make the rash stop itching) doesn't mean that's what it's for.

otherwise, here, this is also good for rashes on your limbs:

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Round 2

Tuesday, Jul 29, 2008 12:39PM / Standard Entry

for those of you who missed it last time, we're doing this again.... for some reason.
wed july 30th @ Racks

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