My blog

some personal work

Sunday, Jun 21, 2009 2:08AM / Standard Entry

fell in love with hins's voice :)

decided to make a personal video to cheer myself up

Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FFbwfZyzKyo

Add a comment
ergo proxy - supressed emotions (spoilers)

Sunday, Nov 9, 2008 4:09AM / Standard Entry

over the years, i've been drawn to things dark.

i came across ergo proxy and have just recently finished watching parts of it, not in whole but skip forward to the end of the story trying to understand the ending without knowing the parts which lead up to it. ergo proxy is a great story.

vincent law - ergo proxy

the story is seductively dark yet pleasurable to watch, it's very different from the usual tvb dramas or movies that i've been drowning myself in, it's not about who's loving who and wat not in classic crime and punishment series. it's about emotions suppressed and the journey it takes to discover it.

vincent law as a "good citizen"
awakening, as the virus spreads through the "robots" and awaken their "souls" if we can call them that

it's the philosophical twist that is irritatingly irrestible. like dark chocolate for me, sour and bitter yet always irresistable. what that really draws me into the story is the monster that vincent already is but is desperately trying to still discover himself. a projection of his "self", the proxy that he is has already shown himself yet remains unkown to vincent who is struggling with seemingly minor issues such as not being a good citizen when an entire city's faith lies almost in his hands. i like the idea of the projection of a monsterous self who scares even vincent himself when the monster tells him "i am you"

i would love to toy with fate but have no courage too, therefore i write and i try to make short films and take pictures. it sounds silly, but the "self" that i'm always trying to hide from will find a way to be released and to harm me in ways that i never expected, it's just a release of emotions, but recently i kept thinking, to what consequences. i would love to throw my tantrum and think i can get away with it, but i know i can't and am i able to bear my consequences? it's a stop signal for me, from releasing all my anger upon an object or a subject which i feel worthy to hit and let loose. it's something i have to deal with myself or free myself from

i like the endless skies and seas in ergo proxy

it's dark, it's brown, it's purple, it's endless

sailing through these seas with the main characters, it makes me wonder, what is their motive? their destination? what is their aim? at thoes times where they get lost themselves but somehow will find themselves back on the boat, is this just a memory, a recollection, a sea of emotions, of repressed memories, where there is no reality, no day and no night, and no clear destination, because that would be apt to describe lost memories, long forgotten pain, sorrow or joys, not due but dugged up, scars not healed but prematurely bandaged, a past damage to relive, in order to make sense of the future where there is no present

real is searching, to solve what she will eventually know is not within her power to resolve. something of the "past" civilisation which the present one is built upon, the creation of idols, of faith, of an illusion of power within the crumbling city as the virus is upon all of them, man or machine.

i still do not know real's believes or how she feels exactly, being not particurlarly drawn to this character, it is instead vincent that i am extremely careful about when reading him

the protector or the destroyer, he's just that in-between

from the realisation that the world he's known is as aliean to him as his own hometown of erased memories, the quiet one awakes and is on the run. there is need to be on the run, for this exploration will take him far and away and back to his hometown, russia, in ruins, for Romdo.

there is a lot of philosophical and psychological reference in this anime, which is the reason for my obession with it. it mixes modern history, with the mythical, it created a new world so familiar to our own, it destroyed some faith to restore others, and it manipulated humans into weapons and it laughed at our creation, and laughed at our destruction. there is much more to reference from this amazing anime, not something i can cover today.

i enjoy the agent starring at my face, though late in life i know, i will regret the fact that i've been obsessed with too dark a thought entertaining my rage

abolishment of the face of vincent "law"

Add a comment
mixed feelings

Tuesday, Nov 4, 2008 8:45PM / Standard Entry

this "showreel" is something of a mixed feeling

Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZxD-fTu_-h4

the reason being there are many personal stories, some that will never leave me, some that will always be a part of me. it was something really fun to do and while stressful, it really was quite something for me, it was one of the biggest personal projects i've done given my limited resources. but that's the fun, using limited resources to create something new or to destroy something to create blah blah...

it was a story that was bulls**t, too ambitious for my own good and now it's easier cuz at least i know what i'm good at and what i'm not, someone said to me everything must have a balance, yes i only found that out, silly eh

i hope to continue shooting after a long break, my last project was...something of a regret, but also something of new discovery

Add a comment
just a short film

Tuesday, Nov 4, 2008 8:29PM / Standard Entry

short films short films

a short film i did some years ago, it's no big deal, yet it's a nice memory, looking back, it's nice to say, there is progress from those years back

unlike hk, sg doesn't have a huge filmmaking industry, perhaps for us, tv is more impt and there are more jobs in the tv industry. it's nice to see that local tv is 45 years old, given that we're such a small country and had sucessful hits, i'm proud of local tv, no matter the ups and downs.

Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2mynrKtYt18
short film - memories later

i and a few friends got together to shoot this short film with the intention of sending it into a competition, while i never have the courage to send it, it's nice to know that my friends are still around, helping me out when i need the help. i do fail people sometimes and it gets to me, and sometimes it's hard to keep the indie spirit up and in those days, it's just nice to do nothing and just breathe.

i guess while i admire the hk filmmaking industry, it also has its ups and downs and it's fair share of heartbreaks and heartaches. yet there are also successes and there are the ups which will always at the correct time remind us all that filmmaking is aways worth pursueing

Add a comment
my friend wai

Monday, Oct 20, 2008 12:58AM / Standard Entry

had a hella a time with my friend who's been through up and downs with me..

i have to say, we're still kinda cool after all these years...

a picture of her here, we were all joking she looks nice cuz her face isn't seen here hah!

cafes are kinda fun, it's a chillout place and also a place to make noise like no one cares! it's friends that make the cuppa coffee worth it!

Add a comment