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• Mathematics of LIFE

  Monday, May 5, 2008 11:26PM / Standard Entry / Members only
  12 comments

  ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
  

  Smart man + smart woman = romance
  

  Smart man + dumb woman = affair
  

  Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
  

  Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
  

   

   
  OFFICE ARITHMETIC
  
  Smart boss + smart employee = profit
  
  Smart boss + dumb employee = production
  
  Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
  
  Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
  
  
   
   
  SHOPPING MATH
  
  A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
  
  A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.
  
  
   
   
  GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
  
  A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
  
  A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
  
  A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
  
  A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
  
  
   
   
  HAPPINESS
  
  To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
  
  To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
  
  
   
   
  LONGEVITY
  
  Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
  
  
   
   
  PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
  
  A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
  
  A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
  
  
   
   
  DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
  
  A woman has the last word in any argument.
  
  Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.