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Cross Country Love.

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ONE NIGHT OF PATRIOTISM ...

Friday, Aug 14, 2009 11:53PM / Standard Entry

Patriotism to the max:

We counted down at Nectarie, then we proceeded to Zirca for Yang Ru's birthday countdown, then we went Lunar to hear our future Project Lunarstar champion blast his awesome vocals, then to Rebel for more drinks and to Spize wind the night down with tehping and tehoping and miloping and all types of ping la at an atrocious hour of 4am plus plus. The usual suspects includes Antz, Drayson, Yang Ru, Yif, then there was Mingus, Roy, Yanmei and Marcus. Apparently Mingus hardly drinks, Yif voice is pretty much sexy now, Drayson is multi-talented, I talk a lot of nonsense, Yang Ru is as usual filled with nonsense and Antz will be Antz (note: the 'sweet' joke, BEWARNED !) But that night we all came together to drink, make merry, talk crap, talk nonsense and go siao. And tomorrow night we shall gather again, and repeat our stories, forget the week. Photo-spam by Monday I supposed.

I love Singapore, I really do. And I dont know if I can make it back to Melb :(
Wearing: Dress - Australia, Ribbon - Diva, Bag- Agnes b vintage, Shoes - Pedder Red

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PROJECT LUNARSTAR

Friday, Aug 14, 2009 12:15AM / Standard Entry

VECTORSCUM CAN SING !!!
People remember this face. My idol like seriously :D:D
Chants "GO DRAYSON GO DRAYSON GO DRAYSON !!"
I promise him I would not post the video up anywhere else but then Antz was one step fast and posted on youtube. I posted on Facebook. I m like mild case. HAHAHAHA ! Love you Dray :)

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ON THAT RARE MONDAY OFFS ...

Tuesday, Aug 11, 2009 12:21PM / Standard Entry

I spent the whole of yesterday on off. Taking time to try and re-arrange my life in its proper sequence. FEP for my cheap thrills and endless shopping bags. Cine for Cheryl Lim YJ whom is the only girl who can fucking make my day in a sentence.

I m sure I m the only female who managed to blow 300 odd in FEP alone within the hour. Bless my fucking soul. I pinky swear I m not stepping inside there for another 2 weeks. My bank account might not be able to take it. Neither can my dad nor my wardrobe I think.

Either way, Cheryl. I love you. I cannot stop thinking about that sentence you said nor the actions you made. Hahahhah, you made that ass look like a fucking joke. Which we kinda of determined he is. Cannot stop laughing .... Hum Sup Hum Sup arrogant son of a bitch. LOL. We can get vicious when we want to.

But yet, after that afternoon in peace. It all came back when you ask if we can talk. Talk is really cheap you know. You are like some stalker now. Hounding my presence my life my personal space. It is an invasion of the ultimate. And last night's talks got into a fight. With me screaming my bonkers head off, crying and cursing. You are such a disappointment. Why cant you just let go and let me be? What was with you and your chauvinistic character ? Cos it is just plain lame and I cant believe you actually have such a giant impact on me. I must have shocked my neighbour with my eyeliner streaked face, my endless sobs and the gulping of mucus. I dont think I can take you in my life again and anymore. I tried my hardest to be with you. But I cant. And most likely cannot. It is hard to communicate with you. Every touch you provided me made me flinch inside and out. I dont want to hate you but then it has gotten to the point where I just want to hide away from you. Even if it means separating myself from my friends. I dont understand your thinking your ideology of you possessing me. I m not a toy. You dont own me. Please learn to let me go like now. I m starting to find my barriers breaking down, and being torn apart. Ours was a relationship I dont understand. Lets just be friends. In more technical terms, I would rather not be your girlfriend but I would prefer to be a girl friend. A spacing between letters make everything a whole load different. Just like I need that space from you now. Before everything gets to bad to the point where I dont even want to see you anymore and I just want you out out out.

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IT IS SUNDAY AND TOMORROW IS A HOLIDAY ...

Sunday, Aug 9, 2009 4:50PM / Standard Entry

Wearing: Top - Agent99, Romper - Bardut, Bag- Tods.
This was on Friday, chilling at Rooftop Bar with Serene. With Corine flitting in somewhere in between of work.
I just wished I didnt know so much. Then maybe I wont be that in pain in so much sadness and so much emotional conflict. I wished I was there to prevent everything that could have happened and protect the ones I care. I m freaked out so badly that I dont know how to express myself properly anymore. I want things to go back to pre-friday. Alcohol does mean mean things to you. Why all the violence, the hate, the ignorance? Why all the controlling, the seeking and the demanding?
But last night was fun, I tried to not think about the bad stuff. Being around people who i feel most at home with. But the moral of the story is: after you have had jaagerbombs, dont proceed to Spize and order teh ping or any other caffefine related drinks. You will wake up 4 hours later feeling like some Energiser Bunny with a stomach that doesnt feel like yours.
I dont want to be part of the circle anymore. I dont want to belong to anyone yet. I just want to be myself, be loved at the same time and be smiling like how I used to. You hear me pleas ?

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Blank Subject

Sunday, Aug 2, 2009 10:44PM / Standard Entry

You know, no matter how much you say "I m so over it". Deep down inside, you know that that is the biggest lie you have ever constructed ? And then you start trying to look for a way, to salvage yourself from plunging straight into the depths of no return.

BKK has offered me a lot of options during my trip here. Being able to think through at night about my future, making up possible plans and trying to revamp one from the Melbourne way of living. I m slowly morphing into someone else in total. And that is not all too bad I supposed. Maybe I just want to prove to a certain someone that I m not the person you thought I was. Or maybe it is for my own good. but change is good. Radically of course.

It is the national day weekend next. Hello to the clubs. To get drunk to do stupid things see ridiculous pictures of you up on Facebook the next day with no idea when was it taken. I welcome it with open arms. To forgive and forget. Forget I can, forgive is hard. Maybe with forget, forgive comes as a package. But for now, I would just like to be happy. Really genuinely happy.

To everyone who reads this. Including you you and you. I really tried my best to not think about it. To erase everything about you all. But somehow, it is not possible. I wish you all the best. No matter how selfish you all are. Cos I get that it is human nature. I blame only myself. I will not curse you all, swear at you all. Cos nothing will ever work. I m trying to move on. To create a new persona. I will return someone better, stronger, more experienced. A whole bunch of immature self centred pricks. And disappointment sets in me that I was one of them.

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