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My massage chair happy finish

Friday, Aug 15, 2008 4:57PM / Standard Entry

I recently discovered that my apartment gym has one of those nifty Osim massage chairs. I've used it a couple of times and its pretty relaxing. The chair has a bunch of different programs you can choose from like stiff shoulders, lower back remedy, and POW labor camp therapy. I've pretty much tried every mode but one. So yesterday I decided to live dangerously and try out the last mode called "seat". I flip the switch and everything starts out normally. I feel the chair working its mechanical magic on my shoulders, then kneading its way down to my lower back. I'm sitting there in bliss when I hear this loud roar rumbling from under my arse. Hmm...that doesn't sound too friendly I'm thinking. Then the seat cushion starts to shake violently. It was if my butt was parked on top of a washing machine possessed by a hyperactive Satan. Finally the last stage kicks in where a high powered stream of air fires up my starfish. The air enema took me by surprise at first. All I could do was clench my cheeks together to keep the air out. But alas, my tired buns succumbed to the Osim's mighty blowhole and in the end it actually felt quite good. I definately recomemnd y'all to give the Osim a whirl the next time you see one in the department store.

Or if that's not your style, maybe get one of these.

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Kablooey!

Monday, Aug 11, 2008 5:15PM / Standard Entry

I took this photo right outside our office last week. If one day AnD goes bye bye you'll know why.

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I am so ashamed

Monday, Aug 4, 2008 5:22PM / Standard Entry

Over the weekend my best friend told me he bought a virtual Special Tiger for his character to ride on in World of Warcraft for 500 bucks on ebay. I was like that's the lamest thing I have ever heard.

Does it increase how strong you are? Nope he says.
Does it give you special attacks? Nada he shakes his head.
Does it make you faster? Don't think so.
Can you at least skin it and make a nice rug? Nuthin he abashedly smiles.

Apparently it's like the equivalent of having a ferarri in the real world. He says it gets his Paladin a lot of Warcraft poonany and its worth every penny. I can't help but think how many thousands of hours it took for some imprisoned Chinese village kid to find this tiger, only to be sold on the virtual black market to a schmuck like my friend. For shame!!!

Everyone visit his page and rag on him for blowing his wad on typhoon the battle cat!!

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Holy Moley Revisited

Wednesday, Jul 16, 2008 12:13PM / Standard Entry

I think with my new mole I kinda look like Miss Monroe. Happy burfday Mr. President....

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How fast is your food?

Tuesday, Jul 15, 2008 4:59PM / Standard Entry

I was having a chat with a coworker today and was wondering which fast food chain really is the fastest? Out of the ones in Hong Kong, we came to the conclusion that the fastest is, drum roll please....

#1. Yoshinoyas (they scoop it from a cauldron, yay!)
#2. KFC
#3. Mc Donalds
#4. Burger King

Oh and here's my order of which fast food joint will kill you the fastest

#1. KFC
#2. Micky D's
#3. Burger King
#4. Yoshinoyas

What do you all think is the fastest of the fast foods?

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Ba-ba-ba-Boon's Music

Boon

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Boon (aka King Kong Khoo) was born into poverty in the rural village of Dog Meat Taiwan, and is truly a story of rags to riches. From the beginning, Boon had a difficult childhood...
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Boon (aka King Kong Khoo) was born into poverty in the rural village of Dog Meat Taiwan, and is truly a story of rags to riches. From the beginning, Boon had a difficult childhood. His parents, trying to make ends meet, became Chinese acrobats and Boon was thrust into the circus at a very tender age. His mom was a plate spinner, his dad a human contortionist known as the Pai Gow Pretzel. Boon became a master of Chi and soon grew to be the headlining act for the circus. People came from near and far to see Wonder Weeny, the boy who could pull a busload of people with his privates.

But with all his fame and fortune came drugs, sex, and alcohol. Boon found himself spinning out of control like the plates on his mother's head. He withdrew from the fast paced life of the circus and into the world of entrapreneurship. He opened a modest business manufacturing Chinese finger cuffs. To no surprise it grew into a multi-billion dollar empire, as he became the sole supplier of Chinese finger cuffs to the world.

Boon had truly made it. Everything he touched turned to gold. Once again Boon found himself in the limelight, flying around the globe in his private jet "Finger Force 1", giving lectures at prestigious universities on finger cuffs. Even appearing of the cover of Finger Cuff Weekly while giving the finger.

But once again, tragedy struck. One cold December night would change his life forever. Sitting at home alone, Boon attempted to perform the most dangerous and often fatal of all finger cuff maneuvers, the "Stucky Stucky You Won't Be So Lucky", where one inserts all ten fingers into the finger cuff simultaneously. Even an escape artist such as Houdini could not withstand the finger cuff's mighty hold. Two days later, Boon's fingers had to be amputated and all his dreams and hopes became like the stubs on his hands that had no fingers and were stubs. Then he became a web designer.

The End

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