My blog
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Out of the Dark into the Light...The Original Urban Warrior
Tuesday, Nov 9, 2010 5:11PM / Standard Entry
So I have been MIA-ing ...BIG TIME ...especially since my last blog which was forever ago...and now I am ready to blog seriously.....so much has happened and there is a heap of stuff I have been wanting to blog about but I don't feel as if I can until I write about the 12 months which have given me a whole new perspectiveThe last 12 months have had me out of my comfort zone in every way possible. 12 months ago I found out my dad had cancer, 5 1/2 months later he was taken away from all that loved him, that was 6 months ago. My dad never got the chance to come to Hong Kong , meet all the amazing people I have met and who are my family here. I know who I am today is because of him and i'd like to introduce to you my dad ..... Mukund R Raval, the original urban warrior.I have been planning on writing this entry for a while now but it seems harder than I thought it would be, how do I explain how much this person meant to me.... I wrote two pieces while I was looking after my dad , one was for The C Word , an exhibition of works by cancer survivors, sufferers and those close to them that was exhibited at Artistree in Tai Koo in June / July . The other was most difficult, the speech I had written for the funeral. These are pieces I would like to share with you.Nothing Is the Same for C WordNothing Is The Same
It encapsulates you
It is relentless
It took you away from me
But I will always be your little girl
Made me feel uncertain
My future changed
Everything changed
The words don’t come right
The house doesn’t feel right
Nothing feels right
And I’m still waiting for you to come home …
It is relentless
In me people see you…
Only 28 years and so much still to do
You will not dance me down the aisle
You will not hold my first child
No more will you hold me when I break
No more will you wipe the tears that you hate see fall
No more will we laugh and share a smile
They say
Time is a healer
I hang onto every word
Like I held on to you
It is relentless
Tell me its gonna be ok
You said that every time
You fought on
The warrior you became
The strength you had
The pain you took
You knew I was hiding to be strong for you
You told me
You knew
It is relentless
But, You fought on
You left smiles on everyone’s faces
You left kisses on my forehead
You left me wanting hugs that I wish would last forever
It took you away from me
I had to let you go
It took you away from me
I told you to go
You held on for me
But I had to let you go
It is relentless
I am lost
So lost without you
You were strong and you fought on
It stopped you from moving
It stopped you from eating
It tried to stop your spirit
But you fought on
You took pain beyond its limits …
You smiled throughout the discomfort….
You laughed in all the hospitals…
Your hands, your feet tapped to your favourite sounds…
You made nurses smile with deliveries of chocolate
It is relentless
But, You fought on
Your will is broken
Still you fight on
This relent-less-ness
This rest-less-ness
This Cancer is unforgiving
The break down in tears
The fear of the moment
Medications that seeped through
Medications that held no barriers
Held no barriers for you
It is relentless
And you fought on
Til your last breath
Your last heartbeat
You fought on
You fought hard
You protected your fears from me
I became somebody through loving you
I struggle, I fear….
In me you live on
In me I continue your legacy
Through me I show you the world
Through you I experience
I gain strength
I do not forget
I move on with your hand on my shoulder
A warrior til the last breath….a legend…..my legend
We did everything day and night
But there’s lies the hurdle
The acceptance of life
You were calm and the storm was inside you….
You were calm and the storm over took you….
You were calm….
In this storm that I now face….
Walk by my side and take me to calm….
The Last Speech
I am and always will be my daddys little girl…..
Dad was a true soul man ..i liked calling him daddyo or daddy cool cos to me that’s what he was ….some of my friends nicknamed him the Indian Fonz ..it suited dad to a tee…
To me dad was the original urban warrior…taking life day by day as it came to him….
I am the luckiest most bless’d girl …my dad was SO different from other dads I knew…he partied with us ….i worked with him. I shopped with him… .watched football with him ….he took me everywhere …my favourite places in London are because of him….we hung out together and he guided me
All my passions are because of dads influence…cooking …politics …travelling…music ….dancing… I really loved watching dad dance sing and laugh I am blessed that the day that my brother got married me and my dad danced down embankment together …..
Dad was adventurous and a risk taker and pushed me to take risks, break boundaries and face my fears he wanted me to experience everything ..everything that life has good or bad …..he wanted me to see the world as it is and find beauty in everything ….
He taught us to respect everyone no matter what, creed , colour, background, or situation ..he never judged dad took people as they were and for who they were …I love that he was like that …he taught me to appreciate and experience everyone’s cultures and learn about people …to appreciate what we have been blessed with and to not shy away from those who didn’t have but rather offer them a hand ……
My dad was a man of ritual my favourite was dad needing his comb and his watch and him looking in on me as I slept just to make sure I was ok …
I am very honoured that god gave me the opportunity to really care and look after dad when he got sick and I would do it again and again….. dad made light of his situation, he joked and laughed he named me his surgeon my brother his doctor and my mum his nurse…even at this age and being so sick he would let me snuggle up next to him in the morning and at times I would still pretend to be asleep just so that he would stroke my head ……I did that a lot when I was younger just to get his cuddles and affection
I cannot express to you all the wonderful things dad did for us and showed us …all I can say is that everything that I am is because of dad… dad I became somebody through loving you..
Dad would want us to say thank you to everyone who has had a moment to think, see, talk to him since he got sick your prayers and thoughts have helped to carry us all through the last 6 months
We love you dad so very much and miss you every moment of the day… I will always be your little girl….
….We are cool kids because of you…….
The next two weeks will see me take one of the most sacred journeys I will ever take on. A 10 day trip to some of India's most holy places, where with my family we will perform my dad's last rites. I know this journey will be hard but I also know that it will be open up my world and somewhere in that journey I will find a sense of peace that I have missing. To my HK family, I am eternally grateful everyday that you have held my hand so tight through this past year.
This is for you Dad, the original urban Warrior.
much love and peace
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i want somma your Brown Suga
Monday, Feb 9, 2009 3:37PM / Standard Entry
Heeeeeeey Happy Lunar New Year !!!!! Gung Hei Fat Choy ! Sun Tai Kin Hong!!!So last wednesday night-(feb 4th) was the 9th Speak Up at Philia Lounge hosted by the lovely Kate Sullivan and Roger De Leon of e.v.e.n.t... and it was awesome......and packed . I dont think i've ever seen it packed so much !!!! WELL DONE KATE AND ROGER !!!!
It was also the night i had asked Kate if i could perform a little sumthin sumthin that i had been wanting to for a while......Kate was like "HELL YEAH" !!! And so i performed " Brown Suga Lova" ... a little 'naughty' piece
i had written a few years ago and had had the urge to perform..for ages... and seeing as its coming up to Valentines Day .... i thought ... what the hell ... there ain't no better time....their ain't no better placeTo be honest ... i was so nervous..... i dont get as nervous as i did when i'm performing other people words but when its your own and its intimate.....a little naughty...... and its infront of people who you know but dont really know that side of you... tis a whole different ball game,....but I needed to do it......i had been wanting to read it out loud and proud since the day i wrote it.........
and so i did .....so check out the video.....
http://http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-W2gI4q7qJ4&feature=channel_page
I have to give my much much love to the CB FRESH boys...for all their support .n encouragment......and especially to Simon for an awesome intro....much love yo !!!
and to my girls Peapops and Si Wing........they really helped calm my nerves... and told me to just do it !!!Much Loooove xxx
I LOVED performing it..... i felt so friggin liberated.......
.......an awesome awesome feelin........Thanks again to e.v.e.n.t and everyone who heard it....
.... there's always a little space for a little naughty....ness.............
Much Love
B
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M.I.A-ING
Monday, Nov 17, 2008 9:22AM / Standard Entry
So I know I have been MIA-ing like a mo fo...i have good reason for this ........
1.
I spend most of my day at a school in the middle of nowhere .....I like to call it " Narnia" the wardbrobe is replaced by two tunnels. The weather is significantly different......there is also the sad position of my desk...which is at such an angle that every person that walks through the door can witness what i am doing on my 80's inspired computer....that runs at the speed of a turtle and is also completely in chinese....."B" meaning me is not compatable...so i am also found shouting at the thing ...... a lot....
2. I am already a 'free radical' at this institution.......
3. I have way too much to write about.....
.....4. I constantly have some kind of student prying around me ...they like to do this .......i think its part of the curriculum!!!
5. I will try and do at least three entries by the end of the week and at least two today....as School photographs are being taken......this is one the longest processes in the world of school life...i havealready had to tie 10 ties this morning and its not even 09.30 am!!!!!
B
"groove is in the heart"
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TIS ABOUT THAT TIME
Saturday, Oct 11, 2008 5:57PM / Standard Entry
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