Thursday, Jul 22, 2010 2:23AM / Members only

I still remember the day you came into my life.

You were still so shy and wouldn't let anyone touch you.

I loved you so much and i know you love me too.

The nights when you would sleep outside my door , protecting me.

It was a feeling of security when you were here.

You kept me company when i was lonely.

When lightning struck and you got scared, I'll let you in and that look of relieve in your face makes me happy.

Though there was bad times , there definitely was great times.

When i know that you are going to leave me , my heart was torn into pieces.

I couldn't even say goodbye to you because i was busy for dance.

I knew i neglected but you always stood by me.

Never again will i have anyone be like that to me except you.

I'm sorry and i hope you forgive me.

I do hope that you are living a better life with more people to love you than only me.

But i do hope you'll come back by my side.

I miss you so much louie.

You are the best dog i'll ever have !

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The Dream

Saturday, Jul 17, 2010 4:11PM / Members only

" Why ? You don't want to be mine...... ? " That was what he asked. My heart was pounding so hard it felt like i could have a heart attack. I thought he never ask or rather i never thought he was one in the first place. We were in a place where i can't remember clearly how it looked like but all i could remember was him. He was good looking , buff and everything else a girl would dream for in a guy. He had his friends and i had mine so we would rarely talk to each other.

everything was a blur to me until the moment he asked me. Well of cause i was in shocked and i had nothing to say but we told each other everything the moment he held my hand. I've never felt this feeling in years. His touch was electrifying to me. All i could do was stare into his eyes and be in awe. He was beautiful. Though i don't remember us kissing. It was just as far as holding hands. Gosh the next thing i know , i woke up ==. How annoying is that. It was all a dream but it was a good dream =). I've never felt like this before in a dream and it was definitely awesome. What a way to start your day isn't it ?

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The Special One =)

Friday, Jun 11, 2010 1:04AM / Members only

I never thought that i would find him. He was kind of given by God. He's almost everything that i asked for and God has definitely granted this prayer =) I can't thank Him enough. He is my new hope in life, someone whom i can look forward to on a tiring day , someone whom i can cherish with all my heart and someone whom i can love n trust with my soul =)

I really do hope that our life together will be long and i know that the road to future wont be so nice and smooth but i'm willing to go through the fights and tears and joys that we will have in the future. Yet somehow in my heart i wonder how long will we stand together ? The phobia after Chris was enough to make me think how fast happiness can break.

I have so many dark past that he has yet to know. Time will tell when i will tell him but i do hope that he can accept me for who i am. There's so many people that he knows and i know and sometimes that worries me how loyal he can be. This will be the one relationship i will put everything forth and make something happen even though everything might be the other way.

I love him so much words can't describe how much it can be. I love the fact that he loves God a lot. I love the fact that he is almost perfect but not exactly perfect =) He is my light in the dark. My hope. Thank God for him and His love for me =) Love ya dear ~

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Days that went by ......

Monday, May 10, 2010 11:13PM / Members only

hearing Yiruma , thinking about the days that went by :
Those were the times when it was fun.
I miss the time when i can feast my eyes.
Everyone is different in a special way , Don't ever forget that.
I like looking at you , You're a nice person .
How things have change and we are growing up fast.
Things will never remain the same , Its always changing .

Embrace the change when its happening because its going to only happen ōnce =).
Friends come and go , We gain some , we lose some.
Treasure your friends while you can in this world of all possibilities.
Friends are essential for Laughter , Sadness , Craziness , Hard times.
They are always there when you need them =) Thanks guys !
Strangers are people we walk past everyday in the street.

We would look at each other as if we owed each other money.
Smiling makes everything better in life =)
Give a smile to a stranger and you just might make a new friend.
God gave us a mouth, Use it wisely and Smile !
People judge.
What is there to judge when we are all just human , equal form.
Some may differ in size , personality , clothing wise , height , eating habits , music choices etc.

Yet , we are all just human ! Don't judge a person just because he/she is different from you because there's no such thing as two of the same kind.
We are all one of a kind and be proud of it =)
Don't be shy to be who you are because who you really are is the best part of being YOU !
Be yourself people !

These was what i wrote yesterday when i was bored. I guess i can't help it , it just burst out. Here's more today hahaha

Money makes the world go round.

Many would do anything just to get money.

Somehow, money controls our lives and we live with money around us.

Yet for all the work we have done, we are not getting a single cent from it.

We are not asking for a lot , but just a little would help us get through the day.

How i've been used so many times.

I never was a money minded person, yet now i look at myself differently.

Thanks for changing me ! I will not be taken advantage of already.

I always wonder why am I still doing all these ? Is it important for me to go on like this ? =(

The answer is : NO

Thats why i'm keeping myself away. Do forgive me ! I'm doing this all because of selfish acts.

Dilemma is when you can't decide.

To leave forever and be a normal person , Or go on and might have a chance to be continue to be used ?

Which is a road i should take when times are bad.

I will learn to be strong and independent.

It is ok to help out once in awhile but when it is always , it has to stop !

I was stupid to help.

I was stupid to lie to my dear ones.

I was stupid to lie to God.

I was stupid to be a person that was TOO helpful.

I was stupid to be used.

I was stupid to never ask for a pay.

WHY ?

I'll tell you why. I trusted that people would be fair.

It just seems that the real world is just being real.

I was naive to be in my own little world.

I trusted you ......

U have gained my trust and have took it away.

Learn.

Learn from mistakes.

I will.

Disappointed i will be.

Secrets told , i shall keep.

Connections shall be distant.

I can't afford to be pulled into that world.

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To blog again ?

Monday, Apr 12, 2010 1:05PM / Members only

Haven touch this blog for so long , hahaha guess i din't had much stuff to blog about.
Well work's been stressful, nowadays i doubt my passion to dance because of the politics in the dance world ONLY IN MALAYSIA ! Damn. I wonder how many times i've been black face whenever i see these people. Last time i used to look up to UG , but guess what , UG's the same as every other studio out there in Msia. Guess wherever u go , there's always going to be politics. Why can't they just live in peace n dun fight , DUN BE SELFISH PEOPLE ! WAKE UP N THINK MORE ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE !!!!! at least thats wht i do .... i guess thats why people always n i mean ALWAYS take advantage of me , n i'm sick of it but when i think that i have to be mean to them it makes me think " Why do i want to be 1 of them ? Wht is so nice about being mean to other people n taking advantage of them ? " I really can't wait to start my college , n just take a break from UG but train at home n stuff like that.

I have a crush on some1 again hahaha n guess wht , i think i might get my heart broken again. Oh well ntg new there. He's just so cute n adorable , but why do i get the feeling he doesn't like Like me. Haiz , if i could cry , this would be the right time to cry cause inside i'm suffering but i guess God is keeping my tears from coming out cause He's telling me that he's not worth my tears. =) i really thought that i had chances but i don't know anymore. Its like everything is a big blur n crap ! SHIT MAN ! Why do i get into situations like this T T Its just so frustrating. GROW UP AARON ! WAKE UP N SMELL THE ROSES !

Friends come and go , You gain a few , you lose a few. I guess thats what life is =)I'm glad i've made a bunch of awesome friends n a great god-mum although she can be abit annoying sometimes but she's awesome =) hahaha Thanks everyone for being there for me =)

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alivenotdead
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Happy New Years from everyone at alivenotdead.com!
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thx 4 adding me arron
DeNNiSGuaN
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OI!!!!
CAODA ZAI!!!
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Thanks for visit me:)
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leng zai leng zai...hahaha....
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hmmm...gud....TING HUA....
DeNNiSGuaN
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delete my pic plz= =
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HAppy ChiNeSe NeW YeAr O...^^
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yoyo~
didi~
miss me bo?
wakakaka~
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hehe~~
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hi~~
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stiLL g0T 1yr WorR~
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DeNNiSGuaN
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didi so lazy 1 hoh//////
lazy blogin//////
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my english low standard 1 lahh....
banana~
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abuthen~~
wakakaka~~
caoda caoda~
neneni pupu~
DeNNiSGuaN
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Banana~
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Oh. Yaya. You is have 4 balls. ahahaha X:
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Nono. I is not run. You is to be running (:
iMokster
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Hoho I is love you more! Better run~ O:
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Nana Banana! :'D
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