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Gah, hello, AliveNotDead.

It's 7:30 in the morning and I'm still awake... It's dark in my room too. I have the lights off so mom doesn't know I'm still awake. We're supposed to spend the whole day cleaning out Nana's apartment and helping her move in here. So I know I'm really going to regret this when I have to get up.

I spent the night being unproductive, playing the Sims (as Nic, Hongo, Shinjiro, and Takahiro--the latter two of whom had a kid together O__O). Thanksgiving was pretty good, although towards the beginning of it, I was extremely depressed.

Other then that though, I spent the night watching Hana Yori Dango (and I ended up finishing it) and wishing I could be in Japan right now. It's sad, because I almost feel useless being here. My dreams are to be an actress and director in Japan and China. Laoshi told me that her director friend in China said Marissa and I are almost automatically guaranteed a directing job if we can speak both Chinese and English. Soka? It makes me wish I could be there right now, so I could start working on my dreams. The only things I can do here are work hard on studying the languages, although I just don't feel the inspiration at all.

Today was filled with a lot of talk of Shinjiro, whom I can't get out of my head. I pray he got my letter and that he really enjoyed it. But unless he writes back, I'll never really know, will I? Sigh...

I can't complain too much though. I do have homework due tonight for English, but otherwise I am work free. I wish I had a job to speak of, but I don't. I'll keep searching though. And I'll keep hoping about Shinjiro and about study abroad. If I can't study abroad next semester, I'm going to have to figure out my life, because I'm not sure it's worth spending another $50,000 at Pace, only to take classes I don't want.

Well, okay...I'm going to go see if the final episode of Teioh finished downloading. It's been out since the beginning of the summer, but I could never torrent it from school. >__< And now it's just taking forever...

Anyway...

Wish me the best of luck with my language skills, and with my dreams! I hope they can all come true!

Love lots,
An Alexandria who's not going to be too happy in the morning (isn't it already morning though??? O.O)

P.S. The title is in reference to this episode of Hana Yori Dango. The show was so great, by the way. Not overrated, like I thought it might be!

P.P.S. It sounds like, if Marissa and I can somehow get to AAA's concert, we're going to have last pick of the seats or no seats at all. The tour schedule was just posted, and luckily they have concerts in Tokyo on April 25 and May 16 (at NHK Hall, which will probably be the one on the DVD). Unfortunately, it also sounds like if you want to sign up for the membership of the fan club (where you can buy the best seats), you have to do it buy December 7, or you can't be in the club. I don't know, but that's what it sounds like. T.T I hope I can find a way to get good tickets to that concert. Even if it's 5800 yen (about 58 dollars) for each ticket reservation (which isn't all that bad), I would pay much more to have a very good seat! I hope everything will work out! *prays*

Music
"Planetarium" by Ai Otsuka

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Well,

It's nearly the holiday now. Right now it's 7AM on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving (which is consequently Shinjiro's birthday and therefore calls for some thanks-giving), and I have to get up shortly to meet Qian to return home for the first time in three months. I'm getting that almost nostalgic feeling I had last year, knowing I'd be seeing those I love, and those I hadn't seen for what seemed a very long time.

At the moment, all is right with the world (except for the fact that I am not yet married to Shinjiro). Things have gotten a lot better since earlier, when I was suffering from many different stresses. In terms of our site, even after what takauno and her cronies let happen today, our band of AAA fans stuck true to us it seems. I felt good getting my feelings out in my LJ blog, and I'm glad everyone understands the situation. I can imagine what kind of hell it's going to cause tomorrow consequently, but I'll try to be ready for it.

In terms of my assignment, I realized that most people only wrote stories that were seven pages long or less. So, rather than writing a whole new fiction, I decided to recycle one of my very good old ones that had received lots of great comments. I explained to my teacher that I had planned to complete an entirely different story but that because she had chosen my due date to be the day I return home from Thanksgiving, I could not promise the story to be finished and posted by midnight--so instead I gave her one that was already done.

That really relieved a lot of stress. Now I just need to get up early tomorrow to finish some shopping (batteries for my mp3 player and stuff for mom in Chinatown) and to finish packing. To be honest, I'll feel bad leaving, for some reason. I think because I'll miss my comfy room and the company of such awesome people as Brent and Frank and the Chinese club and Kurahara Sensei. I keep forgetting though that most people will be away now. Tonight Marissa and I had dinner at 5AM or so, and it was so lonely in the level 2 kitchen without Brent there. (It felt like that the weekends he was away too...)

So I pray going home will be a good thing and that seeing my family will be as magical as it feels (and as this new themesong makes it feel). I also pray Qian won't keep us with him too long. I want to get home early.

Anyway, thank you for reading. I hope things will stay good. Even with the tension and the fact that I am starting to look old with all this stress, I will always believe hope exists, and that anything is possible. So, just in case I don't get to say it later, I hope everyone has a beautiful Thanksgiving--and for those who don't celebrate it, I hope you enjoy the free holiday!

Love always,
Ai Li

Music:
"Somewhere in My Memory" from Home Alone