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• Blog: Saturday, Jul 11

  Saturday, Jul 11, 2009 10:58PM / Standard Entry / Members only
  

  psycho problem????

  do you have it before???? how to do cure it??? how it comes to it???

  after watching hong kong drama about the psycho stuff....... i could see myself....

  curious about what i say??? haha....... not much people know about it.... but i think is time to say it out...

  july 10 2009, maybe i should remember this date... why??? it happen at 12am plus... a long cry and scare which i did not have long long time ago...

  2 years from now, i did something stupid... things which really really stupid, even when i'm think back, is like watching a idiot person doing idiot thing.... but when i think it deeply to understand the year 2007's bya... i might not regret to what i have done...

  i remember the drama well because i feel like i saw myself in it... i remember in that drama, that is a case whereby she try to kill herself to release the stress her dad give to her... she cut her skin with pocket knife deeply until the mum realise it.... but actually she did not have menta problem... and bla bla bla....

  what i wanted to say is.......       i do that too... y??? coz i'm stupid??? no.... is really a good way to bring out all the sadness which keep inside my heart deeply........ the feeling i can really remember until now... 1 cut is equal a less of pain in the heart....... and the same thing happen, my mum saw it at the last......

  2 years after that which is last night...... i'm having a cry so sudden......... suddenly everything comes out from my mind...... from the day i didnt trust anyone, from the day i hate myself, from the day i don't like my family, from the day what i saw which i thought will not happen in my family, from the cry, from the cut, and then....... after all this...

  i always thought 2 years ago i have left the sadness away from me.... i thought i have trusted my family..... i thought i have started to walk my own world..... and now i realise i did not...... i still everything in my heart... little by little....... and i dunno when it happen again.... just boom....... ......

  i'm trying very hard to make myself feel more happy and positive....... and i just wish that everyone can learn how to speak out sometime...... just don't keep too much in your heart...... trust ur family.... trust ur best friend...... god bless us........ ....