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Blog: Wednesday, Sep 2
Wednesday, Sep 2, 2009 12:21AM / Members only
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Blog: Saturday, Jul 11
Saturday, Jul 11, 2009 10:58PM / Members only
psycho problem????
do you have it before???? how to do cure it??? how it comes to it???
after watching hong kong drama about the psycho stuff....... i could see myself....
curious about what i say??? haha...
.... not much people know about it.... but i think is time to say it out...july 10 2009, maybe i should remember this date... why??? it happen at 12am plus... a long cry and scare which i did not have long long time ago...
2 years from now, i did something stupid... things which really really stupid, even when i'm think back, is like watching a idiot person doing idiot thing.... but when i think it deeply to understand the year 2007's bya... i might not regret to what i have done...
i remember the drama well because i feel like i saw myself in it... i remember in that drama, that is a case whereby she try to kill herself to release the stress her dad give to her... she cut her skin with pocket knife deeply until the mum realise it.... but actually she did not have menta problem... and bla bla bla....
what i wanted to say is....... i do that too... y??? coz i'm stupid??? no.... is really a good way to bring out all the sadness which keep inside my heart deeply........ the feeling i can really remember until now... 1 cut is equal a less of pain in the heart....... and the same thing happen, my mum saw it at the last......
2 years after that which is last night...... i'm having a cry so sudden......... suddenly everything comes out from my mind...... from the day i didnt trust anyone, from the day i hate myself, from the day i don't like my family, from the day what i saw which i thought will not happen in my family, from the cry, from the cut, and then....... after all this...
i always thought 2 years ago i have left the sadness away from me.... i thought i have trusted my family..... i thought i have started to walk my own world..... and now i realise i did not...... i still everything in my heart... little by little....... and i dunno when it happen again.... just boom.......
......i'm trying very hard to make myself feel more happy and positive....... and i just wish that everyone can learn how to speak out sometime...... just don't keep too much in your heart...... trust ur family.... trust ur best friend...... god bless us........
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Blog: Thursday, Jul 9
Thursday, Jul 9, 2009 6:18PM / Members only
tic toc tic toc tic toc tic toc....
time is moving every second, every minutes, every hours, every day.... years by years goes by... from a child to a teenage to an adult to an old citizen.... from when i born to when i left... from the healthy to a sick... from a childhood to a realistic.... from a stranger to a friend... from a enemy to a friend... from friend to a stranger or from the friend to an enemy....
earth are moving every day... world are changing every day... people are moving with the social.... and social are changing every second.... changing to a good or to the bad... no one knows...
if u ask me whether did i change, i did.... but no from who u see.... physically i'm not... why??? because i love to be the one who can bring happiness or no stress to you.... i don't wish give a bad impression to my close friend or family... i always think of no worry will give to people who care about me.... but sometime it turns another way....
no idea why today i'm writting something to related to my mood or days... but is from my past....
today i started to realise people is start moving away from me.... from the primary school from the secondary school, from taylor college, people who i know is totally like a stranger to me(for some)...
.... and friend are getting less and less and less.... -
Blog: Wednesday, Jul 8
Wednesday, Jul 8, 2009 5:48PM / Members only
long time did not write blog... y??? maybe because no idea how i wanted to write it...
if you ask me really nothing to share with people, maybe i will say no... what i wanted to share, i have say... what i shouldn't say, i still keep it in my heart... i believe that no one have no secret... and this is why everyone having their own stress...
well, this time i want to share is my past and what i see in my cousin...
i admit that i'm stupid when i was young... some people say because the age when my mum give birth to me... i was born when my mum is 30 years old... so some say is related to my stupidness.... maybe... who knows??? and this happen to my aunt's child...
i guess he is now 14... from he was a kid until now, his mum and family and even teacher say he is not clever... the result is bad...
but from what i can see... is like the past of me... i remember when i was in primary, my mum keep sending me to home tuition to improve my knowledge... i think is until my secondary... is the same situation with my cousin bro too... his mum keep sending him to tuition to improve him...
but the different situation from me and him is that what i want maybe my parents dont understand it... i know my parents have try their best to talk to me and give me the best... but for my cousin what i can see... is there is no communication between the family... maybe no chance for him to speak out his opinion to anything... there is no knowledge for him to know some form the parents...
i believe that everyone need the parents care and family to get to the point of success... expecially for a kids...
i'm lucky to say that my family did it... and i'm sad to say that my aunt did not... done the job as a parents... as a kids before, i truely beleive that family influence is very important...
...i just wish that everyone could done their own job well... as a parent or as a children... maybe i'm not responsible enough to say this... but sometime i see from others, i really feel sad for them... that is why i learn how to be a good daughter nowadays... and i even trying to understand the position of them.... i'm not sure i can done it well... but at east i'm trying... why not the parents too... sigh...
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A brand new year
Friday, Feb 6, 2009 10:11PM / Members only
it come to the 2nd month of 2009
and it almost end of chinese new year...
in any of the calendar (chinese or normal), i'm totally grown up physically.
is edi febuary... and my final will be mid of may... if it to counted, it was no enough time for me...
i always tell myself
"ng bee ya, stop playing, concentrate
you cry if you done badly this time,
furthermore, everyone will laughing behind you"
perhaps this is the word to push myself to work harder then previous... i know that i always put exam as a easy stuff... but i promise i will try my best to concentrate this time... coz i know if i wanted to uk, i have to done well to make my dream come true... of course no one wanted a useless student... furthermore, law is a damn difficult subject to be pass...
gambateh... aza, fighting.... not for myself only... for the one who taking examination too... haha...
....LETS DO IT TOGETHER....
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