I wanna cry... There's just too many things going on in life right now. I feel like things are coming all at once, way too fast and I don't know how to handle it. At all. I've been struggling with so many things, trying to juggle things all at once, trying to tell myself that I'm able to handle all these things. But in reality, I know I can't. I'm so tired, I'm so physically AND mentally tired. I can't take this anymore. I'm so stressed out about school, I'm failing Calculus and I'm doing so mediocre in my other classes. As a 90+ student, I am not taking this easily, at all. College apps are due soon and I'm only halfway thru, I'm not 100% finished with the Common App essay, personal statements nor supplements. And I'm applying to 15 schools... I wanna cry thinking about this. SATs are in two weeks, and if I don't score high on this exam, I might as well be going to clown school -.- Academics are already stressing me out. Then I have family problems, my grandparents have health problems and that's causing me to be in depression mode. My parents don't understand me and I don't want to start arguments so I try my best to accommodate them. Work isn't going to well either... I work at a tutoring place with kids, and they are so loud, so misbehaved and so bad. My boss isn't understanding, he doesn't let me raise my voice at them, he thinks I need training because I banged the door to quiet down the kids and get their attention. I think he needs training -.- how else am I supposed to get the kids' attention if they are yelling if I don't raise my voice or use other "loud" methods to get their attention? He's such an asshole, I just can't -.- Last but not least, I'm having relationship problems. My significant other and I are currently taking a break from each other because of the many conflicts we've been having and the fact that we're both too busy for each other. I feel like the break is necessary because I need this time to get myself back together and focus on academics. But I feel like life without him isn't doing me much good. I miss him too much and this break isn't working out. How am I going to make it thru the next two weeks without him!?!?
Okays, I'm done ranting and complaining. Hopefully I'd be over this horrible stage in my life soon and things will resume back to normal.
Pajama day was fun tho... LOL even tho the smile on my face is fake, I feel like I should still be wearing my smile because a lot of people have told me that my big smile brightens up their day. Hopefully, tears will be off my face and a big, genuine smile will replace it soon!
Things have been going on lately that have been driving me crazy. Mainly because I am so disorganized and lazy. SAT II's are in 4 days and guess what? I haven't even opened my review book yet. Totally not good news. Hopefully I'll have less schoolwork tomorrow and start to review some math problems from that book. Definitely got to ace that exam cuz there aren't second chances. Anyway, besides the SATs, I've recently been assigned a pretty interesting assignment. We're supposed to get into groups and film, write and edit our own Spanish film. Doesn't that sound super fun? I'm super excited about it and now we're in the process of writing our script. Can't wait to start filming and editing! I absolutely want to share the final product with everyone since I will be editing! :) Cannot wait at all!!!
Had a wonderful spring break so far! But it's time to get back to reality because I've got tons of work to do and there's only two days left. Gotta finish all written work by Saturday night and then leave Sunday for studying. To-Do List[X] AP Human Geography Practice Test[X] U.S. History HW # 21 & 22[X] Latin Homework- Pensum XXV[X] Sociology Assignment # 6  Sociology Assignment #7[Postpone to next weekend] Study for Latin Test (3 hours) Study for Sociology Midterm (3 hours) Anyway, this has been one of the most exciting spring breaks that I've had in awhile. Right on the last day of school, we headed off to Boston, MA. I went up for some campus touring since college is right around the corner. Universities that I currently have in mind are Northeastern University and Boston University and some private liberal arts colleges that I have in mind are Wellesley and Barnard. Hopefully I get into all my choices! I can't wait for the time of year when acceptance letters come in next year and I'll finally be able to experience the joy and happiness of knowing that all your hard work throughout your four years of high school. After campus touring both NU and BU, I'm leaning towards NU because of the beautiful closed campus! But besides campus touring, we also toured the beautiful city of Boston. We went to Chinatown & did some shopping at Burlington Mall and South Bay Center. The hotel was amazing- had a huge pool and fitness center and super nice staff. Met some of dad's friends and had a nice college chat with one of his friend's sons. On the way back, we decided to stop by Tanger Outlet for some shopping, but to our disappointment, it was closed because of Easter Sunday. But overall, this was one of the best trips that I've had in awhile. Can't wait for Hong Kong next year, really miss my grandma and I have no idea why I'm excited over a trip that's not going to happen till a year later.
Started out as an okay day, till the end of the day came along. I'm usually a nonchalant, calm, friendly and nice person. But today, during gym, there was just this one girl in the locker room who made me really really really aggravated. As people know, when changing in the locker room in gym, it may be a little crowded and people may accidently push or hurt people and most people don't mind, but this girl. -- I sat down on the bench and put my jeans next to me and her bag & jacket accidently fell on the floor. I was gonna say sorry, but she was like Wtf, watch what you're doing. You dropped all my sh*t. So I immediately picked up her bag for her because I didn't want to cause anything because I'll be dealing with her till the end of the school year. Then she yelled at me again because I didn't pick up her jacket. So I was thinking, It's your jacket, not mine. Why should I pick it up? Do you not have arms? -- My friend ended up picking it up for her. Then her friend came and she just stood there. So that girl was like, "Is she [my friend] blocking you from your locker?" Her friend was like, "Yeah, I don't know why she's standing in front of my locker." I mean, if someone is blocking you, why don't you politely say excuse me and anyone would move for you. I was like, why are these two girls making such little situations into such big deals? I mean, I don't want to sound like a whiny and always complaining girl, but I just can't get over how this girl is so rude. How can you be so rude to fellow classmates? I'm gonna have to deal with her for the rest of the year and I don't want to be yelled at for no reason everyday and end up depressed. Anyone have any advice on what to do? Honestly, I feel like this is such a minor and stupid reason to be depressed about, but like this is really bothering me. I don't want to make such little things big. I just want to go to school solely for an education & not engage in any fights or unhappy situations.
2011 has been a very difficult year for me. My parents and I have had constant arguments and I believe that it's related to the fact that we barely get to spend time together. Finally, today, I got the chance to go out with just me, my mom and my dad. I realized that it's a great feeling spending time with my parents. :) I hope we'll be able to just go out and relax like that some time soon! Long Island is beautiful. :) I really need to head over there more. Being stuck in the city all the time isn't that great haha :)
Dear Maggie,Do you remember how long we've actually known each for? We probably first met during our freshman year of high school, but we never talked nor have we ever tried to get to know each other. I'm pretty sure we didn't really like each other at first because of some stupid misunderstandings that the people in our group led us to have. To be honest, I never ever disliked you or "hated" you like some of them may have told you. I just thought you hated me, so I "hated" you back. Oh my, I can't believe how immature I was back then.You know what? When I think back about all the times we had during our sophomore year of high school, I kind of regret not trying to get to know you earlier and believing all those things that people told me about you disliking me. But anyway, I'm super duper glad that we had the opportunity to hang out and get to know each other during our sophomore year! Having you as a friend was an amazing addition to my life, you're a great friend, someone that I can trust and one that I can rely on if I really needed something.I cannot forget any of the times we had together. With you and our group, I can be myself. I know that I don’t watch what I’m saying sometimes and I just say whatever’s on my mind out loud, which is super duper bad, but I always have you there to tell me to shut up.Although, our whole group seemed to have drifted apart junior year, I don't think that friendship that binds us together will ever disappear. I know that sounds cheesy, but you know it's true. You and I and the rest of them will NEVER forget our annual Christmas parties, birthday parties, times we went out to 34st and Times Square just for you to take picture and random shopping trips.I don’t know if you remember the times we had with just me and you, but do you remember Ms. Aklipi's class with Ramsha, Michelle and all of them just having fun in Chemistry, moments where we make fun of Key for thinking that a grenade is a shooting star and our late night text convos talking about Tofu and you know who? Oh and how can I ever forget our Mc Donald's visits? We all became addicted to that place, thanks to Key.I’m having so much flashbacks just sitting here and typing and I realized that we had so much fun last year. I really miss hanging out with you and we definitely have to resume our hangouts when the weather gets warmer, AP & SATs are over and when we get early senioritis!When we graduate, I will definitely not forget all the times we shared together in high school. Maggie- I wish you the best of luck in whatever you aspire to do in the future. I know you will be successful- I have faith in you because I know you are not the kind to give up easily. With your amazing personality, you will be someone big. Just remember, no matter where you go in life, I will always be there supporting you regardless of anything. Happy 17th Birthday my dear, you deserve the best. :) Love, Angela :)Here are some pictures we took together :)
I'm going to make a list of things I need to get accomplished by February 26th, which is the last day of my week off from school. I seriously seriously seriously need to learn time management. Hopefully, listing out all my assignments and checking them off as I go will help me finish all my assignments at a good pace so I won't have to cram in all the assignments the night before school starts. High School Assignments[X] Spanish project (Due 2/28)[X] Pre-Calculus homework (Due 2/27)[X] Pre-Calculus extra credit assignment (Due 2/27)[X] Latin homework (Due 2/27)[X] AP Human Geography Project- Is Walmart Good for America? (Due 2/27) Study for AP Human Geography exam- Thursday, March 1College Assignments[X] Sociology assignment #2 (Due 2/21 at 11:59 am) Sociology assignment #3 (Due 2/27 at 5:05 pm)Other Take 5 practice SAT exams (Before 2/26)  Complete Questbridge application (Due 3/27)
Hi guys! I decided to delete all my prior posts and start fresh as if this was a new blog. I want to start posting regularly now and I feel like I changed too much from the little girl who used to post on this site all the time. I grew up and I don't want to cling to my past. I want to start all over again! I just feel like I need a place where I can write about what happens in my daily life, so that after awhile, I can read my old posts and see how much I have changed.
NOTE: Users of the original website please Click here to reactivate your account.
New users - Join the alivenotdead.comcommunity instantly by confirming your identity with a trusted authentication service.
Returning users - Please use with the same authentication service to login to your alivenotdead.com account.
First time users can create a new account from scratch by authenticate using any of the following trusted services:
WARNING: If you disconnect all your social media accounts your profile will be locked and you will not be able to access it again. If you want to keep your page, please add another social media account and then remove this one.
If you understand the risks, click this box to deauthorize your account.