It has been over a year now since we first met, my phantom lover. I can still remember that first fleeting glimpse of you, when you stepped out of that office, and smiled at me as I sat in the reception room, waiting for my meeting.
How I smiled to myself when you stepped into the boardroom minutes later, were introduced to me, held my attention through the meeting.
The long, lingering lunch with you afterwards, learning more about you, loving what I learnt - with you, for me, it was truly love at first sight. A hug and a kiss on your cheek before I stepped onto the train, heading off to another meeting, another city. Vowing to myself that I would see you again.
What a year it has been since then, my secret lover, the only one who knows my thoughts, my dark secrets, my real life - so different to the shell, the facade, that my friends and family see.
It is because of you that I've regained my interest in myself, my appearance... it is because of you that I dropped that excess weight, and have kept it off all year.
It is because of you that I have gone where I have gone, done what I have done, chasing you across this country and that, catching up for illicit meetings, lovers trysts, baring my heart and my soul to and for you.
I have wrestled with and slain every dragon that has come our way this last year, my beautiful, passionate, precious and fragile lover.
You have asked for, and I am giving you, time alone. I know you need a break from me, from him, from everyone. After all, as my rambling musings show, I can be a little intense at times.
Time to sign off on this latest rant. Do you remember the line, borrowed from Casablanca, that I left you with as I stepped onto that train that fateful day we met?
"This could be the start of a beautiful friendship..."
How right those words were, my one true love. It has been a beautiful friendship, and it will continue to grow.
