I still recalled when I was in primary school and my elder sister brought me to a church service conducted by
Bethesda Cathedral one evening. It was my first time attending a church service and she left me with the Sunday school group and just joining them after a few minutes, they had lay hands on me and I was instantly baptized in the holy spirit.
At that time what I had experience were just strong emotions, I knew not God and I did not understand the true meaning of being a christian. Soon after i back slide and did not attend services for years.
"God sends no one away empty except those who are full of themselves." - Dwight L. Moody
Coming from a family where both my parents are strong buddhist, it is very difficult to be a christian as there are often disputes over religion as my elder sister and brother decided to accept Christianity. It wasn't easy but I admire my sister for being able to stand strong and firm on her belief in Jesus Christ and finally my parents accepted her faith even though it was an uphill battle for both parties.As I progressed into Secondary school life, I was never really concerned with religion and what interest me more was things like playing lan games, dating, hanging out at Orchard Road with friends, drinking and clubbing. I had a close friend who I played basketball and go to the gym with on a regular basis, he invited me to his church at Suntec city which was
New Creation church but
I knew not God as such it turn out to be a one time thing.
"Before an individual can be saved, he must first learn that he cannot save himself." - M. R. DeHaan, M.D.
I got the opportunity to meet some friends during my O level years when I was studying at an international school in Orchard, they were from
Holy Trinity church in Adam Road and we share the same interest which was drinking, after a few drinking sessions with them,
I decided to join them for a few services at their church and even joined the cell group but it didn't last long as I knew not God, I admit that I enjoy hanging out with them and I enjoy the liveliness of the place which I believe was the main reason why I had revisited them a couple of time but not long after, I back slided again after I completed my O levels and all of us had to go our separate ways as we were one by one called up for national service.
"Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to the garage makes you a car." - Laurence J. Peter
After I had completed my national service, I managed to find an IT job and was also studying a part time degree. After I had celebrated my 21st birthday, year after year pass by ever so quickly with a blink of an eye. The year is finally 2009 and I am 27 years old, I have not stepped into a church service for ages except once when I was at a church known as
The Hidding Place for help teenagers who had drug related problem, I attended the service because I wanted to support my brother in-law who was a pastor responsible for preaching the word that day but
I knew not God.One night when I was sleeping alone on my bed in my bedroom, I had a dream and this dream was unlike any of the dreams which I had since the day I was born. Surely I have my fair share of nightmares and sweet dreams but this dream was totally different. In the middle of the night, deep into my sleep, I dream that there was a light as bright as the sun that it was almost impossible to look straight into and from that light walked out a man, initially I could not identify the man but as he came closer and closer, I soon saw his face and he was
Jesus, he came to me and he reached out both his arms to me. Even though it was only a dream, It was as real as it could get as I could feel tears rolling down my eyes in my sleep, my heart beat increasing many folds and I was having difficulty catching my breath while in his presence. I don't usually have the habit of remembering dreams, but the next day when I awoke,
I felt like something had happened that night even though I can't comprehend what exactly took place in my bedroom that night while I was asleep and the amazing thing is that the dream is embedded in my mind as if it was integrated into mine subconscious mind.
"The safest place to be is within the will of God." - Anonymous
As I was still a non believer and I still considered myself a free thinker, I just placed the dream aside and didn't think much of it. I am planning to migrate to Australia and I had engaged a migration agent to help me with the documentation and submission of my application, suddenly while just having a casual conversation with him at Raffles Town Club he suddenly mentioned something which triggered some thoughts in my mind, his words were
"Jesus Will Wait For You" and it may mean absolutely nothing to a normal person who was a non believer, but those words somehow
triggered a chain of thoughts in my mind and I could recall the dream as if it just took place yesterday even though it was months ago.
I still didn't take any action and just went about living my life as I normally do as I knew not God.On
10th April 2009 I suddenly woke up feeling a sense of happiness knowing it is good friday and that it is Easter, I wanted to be able to celebrate Easter and in order to truely experience an Easter celebration, I had to visit a church. I met up with Eugene to visit to his church which was
City Harvest church at Singapore expo hall 8 for their Easter Day celebration.
When the service started with singing of praise songs and the throughout the performance when the drama team had acted the scene when Jesus had died on the cross for our sins, there were moments that
I had felt my eyes filled with tears and I could feel the pain in my heart as he was being nailed to the cross, it was like
I could identify what he was going through at that time and why he had done what he did.
Even with my eyes wide open and looking at the lyrics flashed on the screen,
I could feel Jesus's presence right there with me, I felt his love upon me and I know at that very moment that I have finally returned home, I had returned back into the Kingdom of God. It feels just like you have left overseas for many years and you had finally return home, stepping into a familiar place and meeting your loveone who was waiting patiently for you all these years.
Suddenly everything started to fall into place like a jigzaw puzzle and I know I have finally found the true meaning to my life
"Christianity is not a Religion, Christianity is a Relationship."
"All self-effort is but sinking sand. Christ alone is the Rock of our salvation." - Dr. H. A. Ironside
Many of my friends who are non believers out of plain curiousity asked me,
what made me suddenly become a christian and decided to believe in Jesus Christ again after so many years, how do you know if Jesus is real ? My answer to them is very simple,
it's all too late now because I had felt him and I had experienced him, I finally understand what it is like to acknowledge him as my savior and his unconditional love for us, sacrificing himself on the cross for our sins and his wanting for us to walk with him on the path.
I lost him once and now I have finally found him, I am never going to lose him again.
From the very day I was born till the day I leave this place, even if I am unable to bring along with me any happy memories to my grave it is perfectly ok, just as long as I don't bring a handful of regrets. Regrets are risks we never take, a person who risks nothing gains nothings and learns nothing.
I did not want to live forever not knowing God and I am glad I finally found him, now I do not have leave with the regret of not knowing God in my life.
Jesus love is unconditional, I learnt something from his love and that is
"True love is not to keep searching for the perfect person, true love is learning to see an imperfect person .. perfectly." That was how Jesus had saw us with our imperfections yet he still continue to love us unconditionally.
You can read more such stories on my humble blog http://transcenture.blogspot.com
