I'm sure some of you have heard about this phenomena.  It's basically the idea of going out into public with a sign that says "FREE HUGS".  It's may seem a little silly at first, but think about it.  How many people do you see smiling at eachother in public, or smiling at all?  Couldn't our society, with all it's billions of people, be a little closer?  After all, we're really just one big family.  Hugs make everyone feel better.  They're the simplest things, but there's some kind of energy or something that floods into you when you hug someone, a best friend, parent, or complete stranger.  The last week I've been in kind of a bad mood.  Maybe it's because I'm trying to finish all this summer reading in such a short time, some of the extensive projects I've taken up for this year, who knows?  But my friend just reminded me of Free Hugs a few minutes ago, and I started thinking, what better way to get happy and share happiness?
Tonight I went to a Chinese restaurant.  I saw a waitress joking with some customers and laughing.  It made me really happy to see people interacting like this.  I had a very short conversation with the manager's wife in Chinese, and she said I should come back all the time to practice with her.  This also made me feel so good.  Another example of how hugs have helped me, was one day last winter when I was really distressed about my girlfriend, who had really hurt me emotionally.  I was leaning against a locker when a kid who I was kind of friends with came by and asked me if I was ok.  I turned around and mumbled, "not really".  He reached out his arms and hugged me.  It was so sincere that I cried on his shoulder for 5 minutes, not caring what anyone around me though.  It really helped when when I needed help really badly.
I think people, especially in the USA are really distanced from eachother, but deep down we want to feel close to people.  So along with this free hugs thing, I'm going to make an effort to be more extraverted, and try to have conversations with more people I don't know.  Tomorrow my friend and I are going to the mall with posters saying FREE HUGS!  It's the first time I've ever done this so I'm excited and nervous.  We'll get laughed at probably, but hopefully give plenty of hugs.  Of course you can do this anytime you want, but International Free Hug Day is September 10, so definately hug as many people as you can!

Here are some videos of free hugs:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=vr3x_RRJdd4&mode=related&search= 

http://youtube.com/watch?v=RKILQPBcVTI&mode=related&search=

Peace, Love, and Happiness to you all,
Colin

I've realized that I've left a lot of compliments on people's pages.  I've told a lot of people they're talented or pretty, or interesting or whatever.  Just because I say this stuff a lot though, I want you to know it's not insinscere.  I'm not saying it just to flatter you and make you my friend.  It's true I probably wouldn't blurt a lot of things like that outloud if I had met you on the street, but I would have walked away thinking it, and wishing I could have had told you.  I like meeting real people, who I can talk to, and be honest with, and it seems as though everyone I've met so far seems potentially like one of these people.  This is really exciting for me.  Even though I have a bunch of friends, I can get really lonely sometimes, as I'm sure we all do ironically as the world's population explodes.  It feels good to be part of a community and have friends you can feel safe sharing things with.  That said, I reaaaaaallly need to finish my summer reading on time, and once school starts I'll have to devote a lot of my time to studying.  I'm pretty sure I'm not leaving AnD anytime soon though haha.  Peace everyone.

Colin

It is my current belief that to achieve happiness one should try to improve life in three main areas.  These are Spirit, Mind, and Body.  There's a lot of work I need to do in all of these areas.  Anxiety and depression set back my spirit and mind quite a lot this past year, making me do horribly in school among other things.  I was also physically really inactive.  I've come a long ways but there's still a lot to do.  Here are some of the things I'm doing and some of my goals.
-Lift weights every other day.
-Go running (almost 3 miles) every day
-Bike often
-Read a lot (Trying to finish four books in the two weeks before school starts!)
-Not spend too much time on the computer (AnD is not helping )
-Eat well (I've gained about 12 pounds(5.45 Kilos) in the last month, which is good because I'm still really skinny.  I want to gain about 15 more over the next two months.
-Meditate often (I hear it's best to start small.  I meditate for five minutes, three days a week.  Hopfully this will become more soon.)
-Do well in school (Got a 90 in my summer school course, hope to do well this coming schoolyear)
-Respect my parents.  I've learned family is really important.  Before I didn't want to spend any time with my family.  Now I try to spend more time with them, and do more things around my house.
-Take wushu.  I really can't wait.  I'll be training under Sifu Hu Jianquang, two time all around wushu champion of China, and in many kung fu movies.  He's a great man.  RIght now I'm doing a lot of odd jobs to save money so I can study with him. 
-No drugs or alcohol.  Too many bad experiences.  Not worth it at all.  It also distances oneself from reality, which can be very confusing mentally and spiritually.
-No sex.  This is a difficult one.  After I broke up with my girlfriend I hated the idea of relationships.  All I cared about was sex.  I got involved with people I didn't like just to make out with them and stuff like that.  Recently I realized this did not make me happy at all.   I would much rather spend time with someone I love or care about, than someone who just wants to have sex.  More than that, I don't want to hurt people's feelings by misleading them.  I don't know if I'm ready for another long term relationship, but I would like to be involved in honest interactions with the opposite sex from now on, no rushing into things.  This involves cutting down on my personal sexual desire, so that when I see a girl, I think more about her personality than her body.  This can be very hard sometimes, but I do really care about people, so I'm working on this.
-Draw more.  I like to draw, but I don't do it that much.  Should be easier once I start art classes this fall.
-Write regularly.  I used to write sooooo much.  Then I quit.  I didn't like what I was writing.  Now I want to start again, now that my mind is in a better place and my motives are better.  Writing on AnD is a good start, but I want to get some fiction and personal essays down on paper soon.  You'll be the first to read them if I do.
-Mind my appearance.  OK, I used to be a hippy.  Super long hair, never really shaved, smelly baggy clothes.  This can be a lot of fun.   But this year I want to look and feel more in control of myself.  I lost all my clothes in Cambodia, so I got to restock my wardrobe a little the other day.  I got some button down shirts and nice pants.  I also got a haircut a week or so ago.  Feeling good about your image and hygiene can go a long way.  It's also good to not let other people's opinions get to you too much.  It's a balance, like most things in life.
-Stay organized.  I just cleaned my room mostly.  I still have to do some more, but I really want to stay organized this year, so schoolwork and messiness don't overwhelm me, like they usually do.
-Learn Chinese.  This is kind of hard right now, since my school doesn't offer chinese classes, and I don't have the money (or the time once school starts) to take private classes.  I'm still going to try to practice the basics, until I can take more formal lessons.
-Get driver's license.  I used to not care about this one too much, even though I could've had my licence almost two years ago now.  I bike most places I go, but many of my friends live in other towns, and I don't like asking my parents or friends for rides, so this would be a good move.
-Sign up.  I need to do the paperwork necessary to sign up for what I plan to do after highschool.  This means finding the best organization that will send me over to China to teach, and apply.  I also have to apply for a program to work in national park, because I really want to do this kind of work in the future.  Maybe someday I will take care of China's national parks and environment.  Who knows.



Phew!  That's most of it.  I hope I havn't bored you  too much.  Please share your thoughts, and your own goals!  Good luck to all of you.

Colin

P.S.  I added some pictures of me with long hair. 

This is a real short one, but I just wanted to say thanks for everyone for being so nice.  I've been on AnD for about a day and I've already met a ton of really cool people.  This is a great community.  Thanks everyone, and hope to meet more of you soon!  Peace and love.

Colin

I still don't have anything real exciting to write about, but I'm so glad and surprised that I already got readers.  There are some pictures up now, including ones from my trip to Cambodia.  Tell me what you think.  The girl I'm biking with is a woman Sri-Ma's (pronounced Sai-Ma) daughter.  Sri-Ma was with my group the entire trip, and we visited her family at one point.  Sri-Ma is the girlfriend/ prodigy of Arn Chorn Pond, a Cambodia American human rghts activist/ music producer.  He started an organization called Cambodian Living Arts (CLA), which aims to revive traditional Cambodian arts after the Khmer Rouge wiped out so much of the native culture during it's reign from 1975-'79.  I stayed at Arn's house on the Mekong River, where he has a small recording studio, run by guys he found in the countryside.  One's nose is broken, from an explosion of a bomb dropped by Americans during their secret bombing of the country.  The damage left by America and then the Khmer Rouge is still apparent over 30 years later.  At the end of the trip we went to the CLA headquarters in Phnom Penh to record a CD with a village from outside of Siem Reap that we have a great relationship with.  While we were at CLA we were audience to a performance of an opera.  Many of the performers, who were all were in their teens, were former prositutes Arn informed us.  This is because so much of the population is impoverished.  The opera was beautiful, but made even more so by that it was performed by people who now had a life they could be proud of, showing that change is always possible.  Cambodians I think have a greater capactity for leaving the past and getting on with life, not to say that they're unaffected by post traumatic stress disorder, as many of them are from the Khmer Rouge days, where they witnessed and were subject to countless atrocities.  There's a ton more to write about my trip, but more than is good to write (or to read in your case) in one sitting.  Thanks so much for your interest, and I hope you enjoyed it.  I'll write more, and put more pictures up from my trip.  Chumreplea!

http://www.thefluteplayer.net/  (This is a site for the movie made about Arn.  It has info about him as well.)