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• AH!! The supidity of lawyers....what is the world coming to?!

  Saturday, Jul 12, 2008 9:41AM / Standard Entry

   

  My mom sent me this e-mail...I was tempted not to open it, but...I'm so glad I did! This just goes to show you how STUPID lawyers are.....it's astounding.

  ---

  HOLE 19
  These are from a book called Disorder in American Courts, and  are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.
  
  ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
  WITNESS:   Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
  __________________________________________________________
  
  ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
  WITNESS:   Yes.
  ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
  WITNESS:   I forget.
  ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
  __________________________________________________________
  
  ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
  WITNESS:   He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
  ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
  WITNESS:   My name is Susan!
  __________________________________________________________
  
  ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know
                    about it until the next morning?
  WITNESS:   Did you actually pass the bar exam?
  __________________________________________________________
  
  ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
  WITNESS  : Yes.
  ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
  WITNESS   : None.
  ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
  WITNESS   : Are you for real? Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new
                     attorney?
  __________________________________________________________
  
  ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
  WITNESS   : All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
  _____ ____________________________________________________
  
  ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
  WITNESS   : Oral.
  _________________________________________________________
  
  ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
  WITNESS   : The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
  ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
  WITNESS   : No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!
  _________________________________________________________
  
  ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
  WITNESS   : No.
  ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
  WITNESS   : No.
  ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
  WITNESS   : No.
  ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
  WITNESS   : No.
  ATTO RNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
  WITNESS    : Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
  ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
  WITNESS   : Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing Law.

  ---

  Don't you just fucking love it!?

  
  

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• Oh Woe is me...but wait...me thinks there is light at the end of the tunnel!!!

  Tuesday, Jul 8, 2008 10:18AM / Standard Entry

  So, last week was pretty sucky...well...besides the fact that I had 2 days off work! That rocked. But anyways. Tuesday of last week, was a terrible, horrible, no good,  very bad day.

  It all started when I was running late for work. Bad enough. Well, I hop in my car get to the end of my driveway, put the car in drive and there's this God awful CLUNK, then a horrible screeching/ whining noise, and...my car won't move. I put the car in park and turn it off. All the while thinking, "Dear God, please just be stuck!". So, after a quick little prayer, I turned the car back on and put it in drive. Again, the screeching/ whining noise, but the car did roll forward. I try it again, and the same thing happened. So, I managed to roll my car onto the side yard and took my dad's other car to work.

  The whole time I was going to work, I was practically sick. A blown transmission is HELL to fix even if you have the money. Which, I don't. I called my parents once I got to work, as well as my brother-in-law, who's a mechanic. And ask him to sort of check out some used cars at the dealership he works out. So, the whole time at work, I'm practically sick trying to find a way to make it all work out. Well, later I call my mom to see if she's heard from Jamie, and come to find out, she hasn't, however...she did talk to my dad. Who told her that I sounded "absolutely euphoric" (His words exactly) that my car was busted. So, I cry....at work...I HATE crying in front of other people.

  So, I finish up work and go home, thinking, hoping, and praying that everything's done with for the day and that I can just have some time to think about things. So much for wishful thinking. Oh no, I don't get to just think about it. Instead my father comes downstairs and tears into how I live my life. How I'm going to pay for this. How my future is going to work out. What plans I have for my future. What does this have to do with a fucking transmission?!!!!!! So after sme tears and trying not to rip my father's head off. He leaves. Oh, and he gives me the WORST FUCKING ULTIMATUM possible. He tells me I can drive his car to work, if I give my boss a two weeks notice. Fuck that shit!!!!

  Well, it's been almost a week since that happened. My poor, wonderful "Ai" (that's my car's name) is busted completely. However, my brother-in-law, Jamie, works with this really really awesome guy named Ben. Ben likes to buy busted cars, fix them up, and sell them to his family. Ben is going to buy my car!!!! Not for much, but he's buying it!!! And on top of that, My mom and I went to look at cars today, and I found one that is so me it's not funny, AND, it's totally within my price range.

  So, now all that's left to do is finish the deal with Ben, and convince my father to help me get a loan. Whew...I feel better now. Wish me luck!!!!!

  
  

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• THE BABY GIRL WHO RULES MY WORLD!

  Thursday, Jun 26, 2008 10:58AM / Standard Entry

  We waited for what seemed like forever for her to get here, and now she's here! I used to think instantanious love was something that was over-exaggerated, until my Mom put my niece in my arms. And BAM...I was gone. I actually know what it's like to know you would lay down your life in an instant for someone. Because, for this baby girl, I'd do it. I've only been home for an hour and I miss her already, lol.

  So, here are her stats!!

  

  Name: Annagail Catherine
  Weight: 7 pounds 9 oz.
  Length: 19 1/4 inches
  Parents: Caitie Ann & Jamie (My sister and brother-in-law)
  Grandparents: Susan & Wes
  Aunt: MEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!

  She's so cute and she's so pretty. What killed me was how she stayed wide away the whole time I was holding her. She just kept staring at me! Ack, I'm smitten!!!!!!!!! *Does happy dance on cloud 9*

  Anywho, now that the adrenaline of the day has worn off, I'm soooooooooooooooo tired. So, it's off to bed, then off to work, then off to the hospital!

  Later!

  
  

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• Anxious Antici........pation

  Wednesday, Jun 25, 2008 9:52PM / Standard Entry

  Well, today's the day. Today is the day I become an Aunt.

  As far as I know everything's going super well. I haven't gotten a call yet, so this is most likely good news. Anyways, I'm about to haul ass up to the hospital just to sit there for hours and wait on my niece to arrive. So, I'm gonna go buy me breakfast and a pack of smokes. Then, it's off to wait.

  Wish us luck!!!!!!

  I will return with pictures in tow!

  
  

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• How deep the Father's love for us...

  Thursday, Jun 19, 2008 6:52AM / Standard Entry

  
  Video:
  If you've ever questined your walk with God, or wondered if He's there or not. If you've ever found yourself being held by invisible hands during the times when you feel the worst. If you've ever wondered just how deep His love for us is. If you've ever had nowhere else to turn, yet His arms were open. If you've ever fought and lost and needed comfort.

  The Father's love is always there.

  I don't always like to proclaim so much that I'm a Christian. I suppose sometimes I'm ashamed. I suppose sometimes I don't feel it's Cool to be what I am. Who's never felt this way? Don't look down on me because I'm human.

  However, my cousin and my mother both sent me this video. I'd heard about this duo on the news. They're virtually national heros. At first I really didn't want to watch this video. I suppose it's because I didn't want to see something so selfless that reminds me of how selfish I am. But today, my mom started talking about it while we were out. And even began crying just talking about it. So, I thought, if it touched my mom this much, then I want to see what all the hype's about. So, I watched it. Withing 10 seconds I was in tears. And I cried throughout the whole thing. It wasn't sad tears, but tears of joy. It made me think that this man is just like God. Always there, always beside me, always holding me and urging me forward.

  I bed you to watch this video. Even if you aren't a Christian please watch it. Especially if you ARE a Christian. If this doesn't touch you. I don't know what will.

  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VJMbk9dtpdY
  

  
  

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