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• The Power of Prayer

  Sunday, Nov 22, 2009 12:18AM / Standard Entry

  Okay, so recently my best friend Chelsea started coming to church with me. This in itself is an answered prayer, but apparently she decided to start coming because of a really great talk we had about religion and church, and apparently my enthusiasm was contagious, lol. It actually started with why I started coming to church and that was becasue of my cousin Laura. Well, Chelsea's step-daughter Loren  and my cousin Laura are the same age and in the same class at school. They're friends even if they're from different cliques. But I got started talking with Chelsea about all this and that got us talking about how she was afraid Loren was just lost. That she knew that she should believe in Christ and that church was a good thing, but she felt she was just lost and that she didn't understand. And this made Chelsea frustrated becasue she felt that she didn't know enough to be able to help Loren along the way.

  Well, this got me telling her about all my reasons and that I wanted to start going for Laura and that I'd love for Loren to come with me one day. Well, by the time we got back to my house Chelsea looked at me and said, "You know, I think we'll both come this Wednesday." I was over joyed!

  So, that Wednesay Chelsea and Loren both came with me. And we had a great time. I know Chelsea enjoyed herself, but I think Loren did too, she just didn't show it. You know pre-teen blah-ness. Well that Wednesday Craig (the youth minister) asked us to write down the name of a person we were going to pray for. Chelsea and I decided that we were going to pray for each other.

  A few days passed and a new week began. I was having really bad money problems. I had to spend way too much money on a new battery for my car and it left me with very little money to make it through this past week. Well, I got to talking with David on my cell. I have a pre-paid phone and spend an hour and a half on the phone with him, thus depleting my newly bought minuts so much that I didn't even have enough money to buy messages for my phone. So, I got on the internet and started talking to him and swallowed my pride and asked if he could maybe buy me some more minutes. I felt HORRIBLE about asking him this, but I just didn't have the money. So, I gave him my info for my account and he said he'd go in and buy me some. Well, I was expecting like fifteen bucks or something. No, he bought me a hundred dollars worth of minutes. So, after boo-hooing my eyes out I called him to thank him.

  Maybe two days later I'm getting ready for work and Chelsea calls me and says, very enthusiastically, "Have you been praying for me?". And I said, why yes of course I had. And she said well please keep praying for me. I've got two tests today, one test tomorrow, and my practical the day after that and I really, really need prayers right now becasue if I don't make a 75 I fail and get kicked out of my program. So I told her I'd keep praying for her, and all through out the day I kept praying over and over that God would guide her and give her strength and help her remember everything that she'd studied. The next day was wednesday and when she got to my house I asked her how the tests went and very happily she told me she got a perfect score on all the tests, and I found out later that she made an eighty five on her practical. All of these have ensured that she passes this semester.

  This has been a wonderful week, though not without satan's presence as well. At every good thing that's happened he's been there to try and bring me down. Like the fact that tuesday at work our main cook checked herself in the hospital because she was so sick. Turns out she has a bacterial infection in her resperatory system. On top of this the week got really hectic really fast. We had orders out the ass, HUGE delieveries to be made, and I was having to get up an hour earlier every day to go to work. And yesterday as I went to get in my car at work to make a quick delivery, my car wouldn't start. I had left my lights on that morning. This happening AFTER I got a brand new battery for my car. I worked really, really hard not to get angry about that since yesterday was the busiest day we'd had all week. But I texted Chelsea and asked her to say a quick prayer for me. And I know she did because after I'd said a quick prayer myself, I felt like nothing could touch me. I was in the best mood I'd been in all week.

  So, don't ever discount the power of prayer. Because it's real. It works. And the only person I can thank for that is God. I need to remember this more often. I did'nt write this to brag or to seem like someone who wants recognition for all this. But I want to share a bit of my story. And I'm going to do something I don't normally do and end this with a verse. It's probably my favorite verse in the Bible. Though it's not quite how I remember it because my new bible is a remix bible, but here it is.

  Hebrews 13: 5-6

  "Don't be obsessed with getting more material things. Be relaxed with what you have. Since God assured us, 'I'll never let you down, never walk off and leave you,' we can boldly say: God is there, ready to help; I'm fearless no matter what. Who or what can get to me?"

  Wow, even reading that now, I realize how much it has to do with my everyday life. Huh?

  
  

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• Almost an entire year gone by...

  Tuesday, Nov 3, 2009 12:14PM / Standard Entry

  So according to the last entry I made on here it was the weekend of my sisters wedding. Heh...yeah next weekend will be my sister's and brother-in-law's first anniversary. And there's a lot that's changed. Well, maybe not a whole lot, but enough to where I'm struggling with things.

  The good thing about this blog is that I know that there aren't going to be a lot of people reading it. Which is good. It means I can rant and bitch and try to figure out what I'm doing via written form. Which is pretty damned hard to do. But I'm going to give it a shot anyways.

  So, I've been seeing this guy since February. Okay, well, seeing him implies that I'm seeing him in a romantic way. And I guess for a while that was true. We were both interested in each other in a romantic way. Unfortunately here I am eight almost nine months later and thinking I'm not quite so romantically interested. Just a couple of months ago I thought I might be in love with him. I'm beginning to re-think that now.

  Is it horrible of me that I just don't find him physically attractive? I mean he's an amazing person. He's smart, funny, sarcastic, a gentleman, and everything a girl could want. He's everything I thought I would want. But there's just something missing. In the entire time we've been together the only physical contact we've had has been an occasional hand hold or a hug when we meet up. In the beginning I thought that the slowness was simply meaning that it was the right thing to do. It made me feel shy and cute. But now, the impulse to kiss him isn't even there. Nor is the urge to hold his hand. What's wrong with me?

  The realization that I've come to is that I really don't see him as a romantic possibility anymore, but I do see him as a friend. If not a best friend, then something very close to that. But I just don't want romance. Maybe in the beginning I was looking too hard for it. I was wanting love so badly that I believed what I wanted to believe. That I thought he could be it. However, I'm pretty adamant in believing that God's telling me that he's not the one for me. I just don't get "that" feeling. Maybe it's crazy for me to think that. But I've always believed that when I meet the right person God will let me know in some way, shape, form or fashion that this is it, this is what is supposed to happen. So I guess I just wait on God.

  I've learned in the past year that I have to really give up control to God for things to work out right. Which is exceedingly difficult considering I'm a severe control freak. I don't even ride roller coasters because of the control issue. I mean, it's baaaad. But I've slowly, but surely been giving control over to God. And, I have learned that it makes life easier in most aspects. But, this is all for now. My eyes hurt, it is soooo bed time. Nighty night.     

  
  

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• Let the wedding bells ring!

  Monday, Nov 10, 2008 12:49PM / Standard Entry

   

  Well, my sister's wedding is finally over! Don't get me wrong, I had a blast, but I had no idea just how much work it was to be someone's Maid of Honor! No one told me all the stuff you had to do, lol. Like the whole being the one to calm the bride down thing, yeah alot harder than it seems. But I did enjoy every minute of it. And on top of that my entire family got to be there. AND my cousin stayed for her birthday, her first birthday in 28 years where the ENTIRE family has been there. So of course, there was a packed house, 15 people including the baby- this doesn't include the 4 dogs either. Which resulted in much hilarity, the occasional WHACK on the ass, thank you Cait's, Jamie, Billy, and Kristan! My ass still hurts! And a lot of great memories that I really needed. You know, God works in mysterious ways and I think today was his way of telling me to stop, relax, and take time to remember what makes you happy in life. So, God is good, and knows what's best, especially when you don't!

  
  

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• Forever and a day

  Sunday, Oct 19, 2008 12:31PM / Standard Entry

  Okay, so yeah, it's ben forever since I've added any sort of blog. And this probably isn't going to be much of one, lol. There isn't much that's happened except for the fact that I work all the time. I haven't had much time to do much of anything, much less blog. I did finally get to go on a bit of vacation and so I went to Georgia to visit my family. I had an absolute blast, though I had to pay for it. I worked both of my jobs everyday this week. 55 hours total. I'm so damned tired I can hardly form coherent sentences. But here I am, sitting in front of my computer uploading my pictures, and writing a new blog. I've been happy and I've been hurt. I thought I'd found the guy of my dreams, who has really turned out to be , at least right now he is, a total jack ass. We had a few really great dates, talked on the phone constantly, and then after I talked to him last monday, i've heard nothing from him. I've lost 30 pounds and was beginning to feel sexy, to feel like i'd accomplished something. Someone liked me, someone wanted me, and then BOOM nothing. I don't know what to think. I haven't even tried calling him because I don't want to seem desperate. But then again, I want to know if he's okay. He's has Chrones and Colitis disease and it makes him depressed. I'm hoping that his aversion is a part of that. But I just don't know. He also has a kid so that could be part of the problem. I just don't know. This whole ordeal has thrown me for a loop and I don't want to think he's an ass, b/c when we're together he makes me so happy. He makes me feel special. He makes me feel like I'm someone special. What am I supposed to do?! Give up and move on?! I just can't do that until I know what's wrong with him, or me, if I'm the problem. I admit now that I might have fallen in love with him, despite that I'd only known him for a couple of months. Oh well. Unless something happens I suppose I'll have to give up. Maybe this is God's way of telling me this isn't it that there's something else I"m supposed to do, someone else that's meant for me. Who am I to know what is the will of God? All I can do is trust in Him, but damnit it's hard to do! I'm such a control oriented person that it's so hard for me to give up that hard won control. I know that probably no more than five people will read this, but oh well. It at least makes me feel better to get it out there and off my chest.

  I'm out. It's almost midnight here and i've worked all week and finally have the day off tomorrow. So, I'm gonna go finish my beer, watch Primeval, and then go to bed. Laters.

  
  

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• A little help throughout your workday!!

  Friday, Aug 22, 2008 6:44AM / Standard Entry

  AND....

  Okay, so I know it's been forever since I updated, oh well. I got a second job. And between that and my first job, while I'm making some damn fine money, I have very little time to do much else of anything. Which sucks. I love my free time. However, as stated previously, I'm making some really good money, which is enough to pay my rent! WooHoo. AND can't forget that I have a two month old niece. Who I love more than anything. So, time, I don't have much of it...bleh.

  
  

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