AH!! The supidity of lawyers....what is the world coming to?!

My mom sent me this e-mail...I was tempted not to open it, but...I'm so glad I did! This just goes to show you how STUPID lawyers are.....it's astounding.

HOLE 19
These are from a book called Disorder in American Courts, and  are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.

ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS:   Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
__________________________________________________________

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS:   Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS:   I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
__________________________________________________________

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS:   He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS:   My name is Susan!
__________________________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know
                  about it until the next morning?
WITNESS:   Did you actually pass the bar exam?
__________________________________________________________

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS  : Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS   : None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS   : Are you for real? Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new
                   attorney?
__________________________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS   : All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
_____ ____________________________________________________

ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS   : Oral.
_________________________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS   : The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS   : No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!
_________________________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS   : No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS   : No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS   : No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS   : No.
ATTO RNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS    : Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS   : Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing Law.