I don't understand why I am constantly called fat, really. Okay, maybe I am fat, because I checked the net and it seemed that I unfortunately fitted into the pear shaped category, and hence I have bulky legs, hips and a slightly more unsightly waist. But my waist, compared to my hips, is much much better.
And in case you don't know, I am still stuck in this horrible time warp with uncivilized being in a land called China, and I can tell you three things about the people here--materialistic, figurealistic and pretty much uneducated. Now I am not going to complain like a three year old about my series of unfortunate events here, but in case you are really cruious and have nothing better to do, you can always come here and expereince the type of environment I am experiencing. An eyeopener, seriously.
Anyway, I am currently 57kg, and yes I have had enough of MY WHOLE FAMILY, eclusing my grama and grampa calling me FAT just because they are one or half a kg lighter than me, but hey! I am WAY taller than you pumpkins and I don't call you short even though you are 155 and I am 166cm! Have some heart and stop attacking the pride of a sixteen year old who is eating half of what her stomach can contain simply because the world is so biased and cold against the rounder figures. Anyway, all day, I hear nothing but, "Your butt is damn huge", "Your legs are damn thick", "God! You are eating again? How can you?!? AT YOUR WEIGHT???" I weigh perfectly normal, and I cannot help having extraordinarily huge rumps, thank you very much. It is humiliating, demoralizing, and extremely hurting to have almost your whle faimly yowling about your weight, your hips, your belly fats and your unsightly legs. It is tiring and I am tired.
My mum especially, I mean, you are my mum!!!!!! even if other people say all those thing and you feel the ultimate need to throw in your opinion too, please be kinder and say it in a less hurting way. "Do you know how you look from the back?? I wish I can take a photo and show you and perhaps you will have some courage to lose weight." GOD! My mum used to be 62kg, if I am not mistaken, and she has been sort of exercizing for two years and she is now about 56kg? But hey! On normal school days, where oh where do I find the time to go downstairs and jog for like one hour? Like my secondary three life...MOnday is the only day I get off school early, Tuesdays I have my CCA till around 6, Wednesdays have my SMP till usually about 6.30, Thursdays and Fridays may have other shit going on, with all the quizzes and deadlines, UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Holy beans!
So my cousin who used to be so fat till she was a squashed plum is now laughing at me because she has somehow slimmed down. I have never laughed at her when she was way fatter than me, and I must state that I was extremely slim then with only 46kg because Keming food is horrible and I only had $1 a day for food, so most of the time I ate half and throw away half. I went to Nanhua and POOOM! One year I grew from 46kg to 53kg with my height from 1555cm to 160cm, from all the stress and dangerlicious fried food. Holy jumping George Bush, that began my spurt in um...my lower limbs. Yes.
Anyway, I have decided that once I return to singapore next week, I shall begin dieting and exercising two hours a day, while trying to balance my studies. I am not going to sit back and suffer the humiliation of my size again. GOOD GEORGE. I am so terribly hurt and pained by my insensitive family. Oh and the second thing is about my horrible results. I have not studied hard for the whole year for Secondary three because I was in a Korean Drama Craze and I watched about like 20++ dramas in one year, but next year I will study real hard for Chemistry especially so that I won't get scolded by Mr Eric Tan again. He even scolded me for my physics and my IH when those subject teachers didn't, and one ting I can say for sure is that he takes his job as our form teacher really seriously. He was like, "Look at your Physics EOY score! 76!! Just A1! Next year even harder, how? This is not good, okay?" Um well, okay, I am just going to say that I made tonnes of careless mistakes in my physics paper 1, and it was like SHIT HOLY. Lord. OOOH and my IH is cest abominable! Yes the spelling may be wrong. tralalalala. And you are right! I am very scared and "avoiding" when it is Mr Tan, because he is pretty scary when you don't score A1 for his Chemistry and quite scary when you screw any subject, and lastly, he is well a "namja" with legs SLIMMER THAN MY =faints=. how embarrassing is that? I am definitely going to lose a lot of weight so that my legs slim down it wont be so embarrassing when I realised that my legs are FATTER THAN A MAN's. Holy cow.
Bye, for now.
