Wednesday, Aug 13, 2008 7:12PM / Members only
For some of yous who don't know me well, you guys all think i'm intoxicated 24/7.. but no that's so not true.. I don't even like alcohol.. but it's okay.. i am back on my ZERO ALCOHOL thing again.. did that 2yrs back.. for more than half a year.. just feel like doing it again.. Don't really see the point in drinking unless i'm celebrating for something.. besides.. it's no fun, since i never get drunk drunk.. have been off it for 3 wks now.. see? easy as! Don't worry.. i still go out n party.. n i'm still hype n crazy like usual.. hahaha.. trying to change my lifestyle.. but can't really seem to take the party out of it? I guess my life's a party.. anyways.. my fren sent me this email.. i think it's quite funny.. n I'M SURE it happen to most of yous!!
Dear Alcohol My Friend
First and foremost, let me tell you that I'm a huge fan of yours.
My friend, you always seem to be there when needed.
The perfect post-work cocktail, a beer with the game, and you're even around in the holidays hidden inside chocolates as you warm us when we're stuck in the midst of endless family gatherings. Yet lately I've been wondering about your intentions.
While I want to believe that you have my best interests at heart,
I feel that your influence has led to some unwise consequences,
briefed below for your review.
1. Phone calls: While I agree with you that communication is important,
I question the suggestion that any conversation of substance or necessity takes place after 2 am. Why would you make me call those ex-boyfriends/girlfriends when I know for a fact they do not want to hear from me during the day, let alone all hours of the night?
2. Eating: Now, you know I love a good meal and, though cooking is far from my specialty, why you suggested that I eat a kebab with chilli sauce, along with a big slice of cheese-filled-crust pizza and some stale chips (washed down with chocolate Quik and topped off with a Kit Kat all after a few Cheezels and fries) is beyond me. Eclectic eater I am, but I think you went too far this time.
3. Clumsiness: Unless you're subtly trying to tell me that I need to do more yoga to improve my balance, I see NO need to hammer the issue home by causing me to fall down. It's completely unnecessary.
The black and blue marks that appear on my body mysteriously the next
day are beyond me. Similarly, it should never take me more than 45
seconds to get the front door key into the lock.
4. Pictures: This can be a blessing in disguise, as it can often clarify the last point below, but the following costumes are banned from ever being placed on my head in public again: Indian wigs, sombreros, bows, ties, boxes, upside-down ups, inflatable balloon animals, traffic cones, or bras.
5. Beer Goggles: If I think I may know him/her from somewhere, I most
likely do not. Please do not request that I go over and see if in fact, I do actually know that person. The phrase 'let's F***' is illegal from now on.
While I may be thinking this, please reinstate the brain-to-mouth-filter
system that would stop this thought from becoming a statement, especially
in public. Please stop me from talking to the guy/girl with the crooked
teeth, bad breath, beer belly, etc. Why are they so appealing to me while
I'm with you and why do they seem so disgusting to me the next morning
after you have worn off??
6. Furthermore: The hangovers have GOT to stop. This is getting ridiculous now. I know a little penance for our previous evening's debauchery may be in order, but the 3 pm hangover immobility is completely unacceptable. My entire day is shot. I ask that, if the proper precautions are taken (water, vitamin B, bread products, vegemite, diet coke, aspirin) prior to going to bed/passing out facedown on the kitchen floor with a bag of popcorn, the hangover should be minimal and in no way interfere with my daily Saturday or Sunday (or any day for that matter) activities. C'mon now, it's only fair - you do your part, I'll do mine.
Alcohol, I have enjoyed our friendship for some years now and I would
like to ensure that we remain on good terms. You've been the invoker
of great stories, the provocation for much laughter, and the needed
companion when I just don't know what to do with the extra money in my
pockets. In order to continue this friendship, I ask that you carefully
review my grievances above and address them immediately. I will look for
an answer no later than Friday (5 pm pre-happy hour) on your possible
solutions and hopefully we can continue this fruitful partnership.
Thank you,
Your Biggest Fan
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Monday, Jun 30, 2008 2:27PM / Members only
Has finally ended this morning.. great game.. Spain won.. 1-0 against Germany.. kinda sensed that Spain was going to win this year.. watching soccer in HK sucks.. coz the kick off is usually at 2am in the morning.. then goes 90mins.. sometimes more.. n when you have work the next morning.. you only get a few hours sleep.. n then go to work in semi-zombitic mode.. which is what i am right now.. i've also just had my lunch.. which makes me even more drowsy..
So looking forward to the holiday tom./ yay! Don't you just love HK? there's so many holidays.. not going out tonite.. so don't call me.. i am going to sleep.. i'm sleep deprived.. i know i always say i'll sleep when i'm dead.. but with my current state.. i will die very soon.. so i need this very much.. and there are way too many bday parties this week.. one on Tonight, Wed, two on Thurs, Fri... Happy Birthday Tat Ming.. Inti.. Ady.. Ma Saai.. i wish i could split myself into many.. n go to every birthday.. sadly i can't.. so, if you don't see me.. i will make sure i buy you your b'day dinners.. as for my dearest god brothers.. Ady n Ma Saai.. i will be bringing myself to your place soon.. i won't tell you when.. also, you both owe me a watch!! It's been 20yrs already.. you both have not taken the effort to go buy me back my watch.. get me my watch, n i will bring over your presents.. hm!
Oh yay.. daddy coming back this week too.. can't wait.. my oysters.. my steak.. my Salmon.. my CDs.. oh n my daddy too! :)
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