I'm all for Motivation I think it keeps us all going but the last few years I have purchased the Despair Calendars because they make me laugh, have interesting facts in the dates and nice pictures. It's all about demotivation...in a fun way, here is some of my faves:

 

ARROGANCE The best leaders inspire by example. When that's not an option, brute intimidation works pretty well, too.       CHANGE When the winds of change blow hard enough, the most trivial of things can become deadly projectiles.     CLUELESSNESS There are no stupid questions, but there are a LOT of inquisitive idiots.   COMPROMISE Let's agree to respect each others views, no matter how wrong yours may be.   CUSTOMER DISSERVICE Because we're not satisfied until you're not satisfied.   DELUSIONS There is no greater joy than soaring high on the wings of your dreams, except maybe the joy of watching a dreamer who has nowhere to land but in the ocean of reality.   DESTINY You were meant for me. Perhaps as a punishment.   GOALS It's best to avoid standing directly between a competitive jerk and his goals.   PRIORITIES Hundreds of years from now, it will not matter what my bank account was, the sort of house I lived in, or the kind of car I drove... But the world may be different because I did something so bafflingly crazy that my ruins become a tourist attraction.   Here's a link to the website:- http://www.despair.com/viewall.html

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 I've had a bit of trouble with bouncers in the past that has often ended with me staying at my next door neighbours ;ie 'cooling off in the cells' for the night. The last one I was in trouble for was because among other things his 'knackers' got in the way of my carefully positioned fist. I don't know what it is like for others but where I live they have a tendency to have the mentality that any girl is up for grabs that walk past their doors...unfortunately that does not go down too well and can often end with me  having some sort of rights read out  to me

  a blast from my past, funny how we remember things we'd forgotten, this memory was jogged while shopping for Aniseed....

Now all I need is to remember the connection  between a seed and a bouncer?

It's been a bit since I've blogged I just really wanted to say thanks to the warm welcome on my return, I do promise at some point I will go into more detail about my whereabouts somehow and somwehere  but well yeah just, thanks :)

 about the title I thought the old blow up bra had died many years ago but it's back with apparently quite a vengeance! I remember as a teen the one I saw was a brown model with two buttons to the side, used to wonder if it would stop someone from drowning, and at what point it would explode due to the material it used...I was young and misinformed. Did anyone as a kid do the chicken fillet thing? I remember padding a bra out using tissues...not a good look ... a little lobsided thanks to unmatching propotions of tissues.

instant Va Va Voom!.....I don't think the wonderbra has anything to worry about.

If you've yet to see the movie 'Is anybody there' I highly recommend it. Michael Caine plays an elderly man refusing to age and suffering from Dementia who is none to pleased about going into a nursing home, there he meets a young boy desperate to know about life after death. It is both heartwarming, sad, hilarious and genuinely beautifully acted.Well written british gem.

Most inaccurate quote of the week goes to : BNP leader Nick Griffin who states the Ku Klux Klan is a "mostly non-violent organisation". It really is scary how this racist thug is managing to win seats across England as we run up to the general elections.

Nicest place I visited this year : CHATSWORTH HOUSE , one of England's best stately homes, it's simply breathtaking and the library is unbelieveable. Parts of 'The Duchess' was filmed here, infact the truth of the lady herself is far more shocking than the film reveals, or so I've heard, I've yet to see it.

Apparently Jack the Ripper was according to new evidence the mortician's assistant....I'm unconvinced I prefer the Freemason theory, but then I've never exactly gotten on with those circles so I may be biased.

I love this....erotically beautiful....Dont' judge me, I am a Christian, I just find this piece called the 'Dark Embrace' very pleasing to the eye, perhaps it's the colour scheme and the wings shielding the girl from harm...maybe

I  finally got to see and loved The Good The Bad and The Weird what an excellent twist on it's inspired Sergio Leone classic.There will always be comparisons but I think each film should be judged completely seperately, some that I watched it with found it overly violent and most thought that the 'Bad' was just too evil, they wanted to like him like they did with Van Cleef's character see a sense of justice in him I guess,personally I did not see that 'the bad' was too evil at all..........

I can't possibly see what would cloud my judgement

sigh* sometimes I think the no dating clause I made was really stupid

I did a little cooking in the spare time I've had this week and cooked Gordon Ramsey's Baguette and Butter Pudding laced with Bailey's

I'm not actually a bailey's girl but I like it in cooking, you can follow my directions in the red brackets!

50g butter, softened ½ large French stick (about 150g, thinly sliced) 60g sultanas or dried cranberries, or a mixture of both 2 large free-range egg yolks 2 large free-range eggs 40g caster sugar 300ml double cream 300ml milk 4 tbsp Baileys cream liqueur, or more to taste (Try 16) demerara sugar, to sprinkle. 3 tbsp apricot jam SERVES 6

PREPARATION: 1. Use a large knob of the butter to grease the sides of a 1.5 litre shallow ovenproof dish. Spread the bread slices with the remaining butter. Arrange the bread in the dish in overlapping layers, sprinkling the dried fruit between. 2. Beat the egg yolks, whole eggs and sugar together in a large bowl until creamy, then beat in the cream, milk and Baileys. Slowly pour this mixture over the bread. 3. Press the bread slices down gently with your fingers so they are completely submerged. 4. Leave to stand for about 20 minutes to allow the bread to soak up the custard. Preheat the oven to 180C/350F/gas mark 4. 5. Stand the dish in a roasting tin and surround with boiling water to come halfway up the sides of the dish. (A bain-marie is used to avoid overheating the custard, which otherwise might curdle.) Sprinkle with demerara sugar and bake for 40–50 minutes until golden. Shortly before this time is up, warm the apricot jam until runny. 6. Dab this glaze over the surface of the pudding and leave to stand for 15 minutes before serving. The custard will continue to cook and firm up during this time. Trickle a little more Bailey(I like to think a little means a lot ) over each portion to serve if you like.

 A little caught around the edges and some dodgy looking sultanas but you know if you've followed my added directions at the bailey's stages none of your guests will give a rat's arse how it tastes they'll be far too happy

In my life I've had plenty of jobs but not so many that look desirable on a CV, one of most 'interesting' was a sex chat line operator, now for someone who is more than a little prudish and thinks things like that is best kept for the bedroom this job was a rather odd choice but I'd seen it before it looked simple enough and it pays well so I thought why not.....I was young what can I say.

I remember walking into this place and it was so unsexy each desk had a dictionary of sex terms and we all had our own cubicles, think of an office but with dildos in place of the pencil sharpener it was all very tacky even the phones were red.

I was so nervous and then the phone rang and my heart felt like it was about to explode and I was dreadful really bad at one point the gentleman said something and I replied

 'What?..Oh you mean the....'  I  was correcting his grammar and anatomy usage

It got worse with each call I was coming out with lines like:

'that's not what it is called'

 'What?..Spell it' (as I frantically search the supplied dictionary)

 Needless to say I lasted one twelve hour shift!

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EDIT :15th MARCH

:Sorry for anyone who ended up with this blog in their feeds again today  or any other of my blogs, I was updating some deleted blogs and  they got reposted with today's date, my mistake, sincere apologies for blocking up feeds if it's happened!