I am offically Un-employed. Yup, i just lost my job :(  boohoo. Even though i knew all along, its still kind of accept up to this point. Somehow i feel useless without a job. I know now i can and will have to resist those shopholic tempatations. Since there will no more MOOLAH.

Oh well, life is more than MOOLAH. But i feel sad... because having a job and working makes me feel uselful, without it i feel kind of lost , directionless

I also feel demotivated...

My bday just passed. and its great. I know i still have loving famiy, friends and my silly bf. I know its a blessing and cannot be taken for granted to have these. I know i need to thank God for giving me all these blessings in my life. 

But somehow i also feel scarded... i feel like i am back to square one having to look for jobs and going for interview, and hoping someone would hire me.

It just miss working... being busy, running around doing things... engergy pumping in my blood.. I feel engergized when i work.. I never realized working is a blessing.

with the time on my hands, i need to rediscover another type of blessings, blessings that are apart from the materialist world, blessings apart from work..

What will these be. I dont know know yet. But i yearn to discover...

Its been 28 days since i wrote an entry... I am certainly getting lazy.

Not much going on lately. I am @ home sick with a flu, the flu hit me bad last night.

Been doing a lot of shopping and spending lately.. I am not too happy about that. Kind of depressing to see ur bank account go down doesnt it. Nways, i need some self-control so i am gonna try not go shopping until i get my next paycheck next week.

Alot of temptations around me, and its not always easy to resisit. So i am going to need a lot of Strength. Maybe i should lock up my wallet. God, i hope you can help me.

Been thinking the past few days, that there is a lot more than than enjoying onself in this world, yes you are momentarily happy when you do all these things.. but does it lead to eternal happiness - Nope i dont think so.

The only one who can give you eternal REAL happiness is GOD. 

But its not easily sometimes to even remember that....

May God help me resist these worldly temptations and follow him ...

Ive just about finished writing some rap lyrics. I gotten some inspiration last week while sleeping cuz i have been thinking about what vanness said in his blog.

so this rap is devoted to Vanness.

Thank you so much to my friend magz for giving me inspiration, ideas and advice. Couldnt have done it without you.

So here it is, its not very good since its my first time writing it but i have had a lot of fun writing this. And every part of this rap is true and coming from the bottom of my heart.

Please Do not copy any part of this rap without my Permission. Alot of hard work was put into this. Thanks.

Damn, Baby Boy, You can count on me

My luv shine for ya forever ever endlessly

Call it an in-fatu-ation, call it ad-oration, but one without Hes-hestitation

Damn Baby boy don’t ya wont ya see

I am dreaming of ya forever ever endlessly

Ya every touch, every move, every groove, every shy smile

Tis enough to keep me flowing, going, a-while

Yo, Baby boy check it, check it

I’m rocking, moonwalking to ya rhythmical beats!!

Yo, Baby Boy wont you dance with me

I wanna dance wit you in ma fantasy

Moving n grooving, rocking n swinging wit you on the catwalk

Lov'ng how your body groove, groove, groove, with its smooth sexy moves

Lov'ng how your body groove, groove, groove, with its smooth sexy moves... (softer..like an echo)

J'adore T'amore

Aww.. Jen Jen so cute. Thanks honey for giving me such a cute v-day present. I totally love it. I am going to cherish it forever and ever. And it does look like me haha.. When i am ....I was so suprised when you gave me the present. Its  indeed very special having dedicated the name Jen Jen and knowing that it is made with your love.

I hope your like your present too. Please listen to it whenever I am not there...

I thank God every day for giving me you, for being in my life, for your love and the influence you have on me.