Good evening everybody, it’s me again. Well, I suppose someone else could have written this, but then I wouldn’t be writing it now would I? If someone else was writing this, I’d be somewhere else. I like to think I’d be on holiday.

            I’ve hardly ever been on holiday, mind you (actually, why would I ‘mind you’? Chances are I don’t know you, so why would you mind? In any way whatsoever?) I’ve got no job to take a holiday from, nor the money to pay for one (a holiday that is).  

            To be honest, I can’t be bothered to go away; you spend ages sorting everything out, stress out making sure you have everything (even the camera charger) and then you forget the bloody camera don’t you? Well, you might not, but I do. Every bloody time (twice).

            Why am I going on about holidays?  I don’t want to go on about holidays, but if I won’t be writing about holidays, what am I going to write about? ...

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            Cabbage?  No. I don’t know anything about cabbage anyway.

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            Oh you know what, I’m struggling here, and it’s taken me a bloody week to write this. I’m going off to write a real ‘blog’.

            T’ra

            Good evening, tonight I’m going to try and be serious – ‘cos I’m not usually serious like, I’m usually asleep or eating, or out, or not really doing anything, so how can I be serious when I’m doing nothing?

            Anyway, I was going to ‘blog’ about films, but then I remembered I’ve never really watched a film. Well, I have seen films, but the screen on the TV’s broke so I can hear films, I just see a giant purple spot on the screen occasionally grow arms and legs. So I decided I had to buy a new TV.

            So I left the house and walked to the bus stop and started to wait (for a bus). I waited for a bit and then waited a bit more, and just as I was getting ready to wait even longer, a bus came. It was the wrong bus, so I had to wait some more anyway. Then I realised I was only going to the supermarket around the corner so walked there.

            I walked into the supermarket and started to look for the TV’s, I should have walked around first as at the front of the shop is the fruit and veg, and there were no TV’s there you see, which makes sense as it would be a bit odd to go looking for potatoes and see TV’s and DVD players in the crate next to them. It would save looking for the TV’s – if you were looking for TV’s – but not if you were hoping to find King Edwards instead.

            Anyway, after a bit of a wander I found the TV’s and while I was there I thought I’ll have a look at the DVD’s as well, so I was looking at the DVD’s and I remembered because the TV broke I watched DVD’s on my computer, because the screen worked on there, so there’s no need for a TV. Great. So I walked out of the supermarket, past the bus stop (I didn’t wait) and came straight home, well, I had to turn a few corners and cross the road, but I didn’t have to stop which was good really. Anyway, I came home and decided to write everything down while I remembered it, and I have, here it is. I never got to watch a film, bugger!

            Ah well, until next time.

            T’ra.

               Good evening everybody, as you’ve probably noticed (actually I’m willing to bet you won’t have noticed until you check after I’ve finished this next bit) I’ve had a few days off. I’ll give you a few seconds to check.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           

                Done checking? Good, we may begin.

I haven’t got any subject to ‘blog’ about, because I haven’t done anything worth ‘blogging’ about. I spent most of the week asleep. I had a great week; don’t remember much of it as I was deep in slumber. Slumber, isn’t that a great word?               Anyway, I spent a great week asleep, only being interrupted by the need to go to the toilet and having to eat, it’d be great if you could hibernate and not wake up, but how desperate for the loo would you be?  Painfully, probably, I wouldn’t like to end up in a state where you had to hobble through the hallway and simultaneously keep control of yourself so you didn’t pop before you reach the bathroom, and all before you’ve woken up properly. No thank you.

So, hibernation might not be a good option then, better to have a disturbed sleep than a painful awakening. Well, it is in my opinion anyway, why would you voluntarily put yourself in pain? There’s a word for people like that, mental. But some of them are also called masochists I believe. A strange people, they probably like participating in sports as well. Madness, utter madness!

What is so appealing about running around in an undignified manner getting all sweaty and smelly? Playing a sport competitively with friends is one thing, but running on the spot staring at a dot on the wall has no appeal whatsoever. Especially when just a few feet away are a group of grunting, apes twitching there arms and claiming to be lifting amazing weights. These apes seem to be a legal requirement.

Damn, I was getting into a rhythm and now I have to go. Oh well, I carry on next time.

T’ra.

           Rained a lot this weekend. Damn, I said I wouldn’t go on about the weather, ah bugger it. Anyway, I’m not in the best of moods today as I was nearly run over earlier. I’d ventured outside (I know, Im proud of myself as well), and because the sun was bright I covered my eyes and stumbled off the pavement (because I couldn’t see as my eyes were closed) next thing I know I’m being shouted at for being drunk by some woman who was driving at -3 mph and still only managed to stop the car half a block away from me as her re-entry shields had only just focused on the tarmac! She stank of fags as well.

            Like I said I’m not in a good mood so this is all I’m writing.

Do you know how much it costs to fly to Australia? No? Oh, I don't either, not that I could afford it I just wanted to know. In case I did want to go you know, to save time checking when I do want to go (if I ever do), I'm not too keen at the moment though why would you want to go somewhere where there are poisonous bitey things? Which like to bite and are most likely very angry?

Anyway, good evening everybody welcome to another ‘blog’. Well, not another one, it’s the same ‘blog’ just a different entry. I didn’t really do anything today, because the sun was out, so I sat in the garden and stared at it. I’m still having problems seeing now I was there that long so if I make any mistakes, or write something a bit strange then blame it on the sunshine.

Do you think Australians can tell when Brits go out to Australia? They must do, the Brits would be the ones going ‘Look children, this is called sunshine, and what a wonderful thing it is!’ Of course, that will be the brave ones who venture outside in the day time. The majority will only be able to go out at night when the temperature is below boiling and they won’t be afraid of melting.  Why do I always go on about the weather?

            I’m getting a bit worried about my obsession with the weather; I’ll go and find something else to obsess about. Maybe a pet of some kind?

            T’ra.