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• A Solemn Day

  Tuesday, Aug 21, 2007 3:27AM / Standard Entry / Members only
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  My friend's dad passed away last monday and the wake was held yesterday at a funeral parlor. as i walked into the front entrace of the building, all i saw was a sea of black. seems like there were 2 ceremonies goin on. as i walked toward the room's entrace with my friend's dad's name on it, i spotted familiar faces who were already seated. As i made my way toward the front center of the room, all i heard were snifflings and low murmurs. i said a little prayer in front of my friend's dad's coffin and walked toward the family. when it was my turn to greet the family, my friend saw me and hugged me for what must have been the longest 30 seconds. her embrace were strong and felt like it was tightening as she was trying to tell me something. and she was trying hard but everytime she opened her mouth, she sobbed and hiccups came out. after a couple of failed trials, all i could say to her was, "it's okay". as i made my way toward an empty seat, all i could think of was the fact that i can do nothing for her. i was frustrated b/c i couldn't make out wat she was saying. i sat there with teary eyes and started to sniffle only to looked up when our rev. leung came up and spoke.

  wow, i found out so many things about my friend's dad. for example, he's an expert at chess but he will not win everytime b/c he wants to give ppl a chance; or that he valued relationships and family. finally, my friend gave an eulogy; about the life her dad had endured: from a city kid in shanghai forced to lived in the countryside in fujien, doing harsh labor during the revolution; of how he was not studious and took up smoking; nonetheless his writing was of like calligraphy to her; of how the whole family came to america; of how he didn't speak a word of english or possessed any skills, thus becoming a dishwasher in a restaurant, the lowest job of the low, till finally becoming a cook coming home once a week just to provide for the family.

  only 10 yrs ago, that he suffered a heart attack and had an open heart surgery that he was home often since no one would hire him. her father was depressed and frequent hospital visits didnt help. thus, he turned to alcoholism. As i looked into my friend's eyes, i knew she could barely continue. somehow the sobbings didn't stop her. as she continued, i had to look away a couple of times or look at the flower wreaths behind her. she was glad that the lord had given him 10yrs to spend more time with his family and bear witness to 3 grandchildren. she was grateful that her father had accepted christ before the lord took him away and that he died peacefully in his sleep. his favorite passage was psalm 23 and we recited with her:

  1The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. 

   2 He makes me lie down in green pastures,
         he leads me beside quiet waters,

   3 he restores my soul.
         He guides me in paths of righteousness
         for his name's sake.

   4 Even though I walk
         through the valley of the shadow of death, 
         I will fear no evil,
         for you are with me;
         your rod and your staff,
         they comfort me.

   5 You prepare a table before me
         in the presence of my enemies.
         You anoint my head with oil;
         my cup overflows.

   6 Surely goodness and love will follow me
         all the days of my life, 
        and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
         forever.

  As she made her way back to her seat, wiping her tears, rev. leung came up to conclude the ceremony. for the last time, each one of us lined up to our respect to her dad. when i finally reached my friend, we hugged each other and all i could whispered into her ear was that "he is in the lord's home now". through swollen eyes and chattering teeth she murmured back, "i know. i know."

  when i exited out the room, i spotted some other friends in the lobby. i found out that someone whom we knew were having the ceremony in the next room for her grandmother. but she seems to be doing fine: chatting with us and being her usual self. i guess it way different when one's ur dad and one's ur grandmother, even though they r close.

  After a while lingering in the hall, a bunch of us left together to go home. as we exited the front door of the funeral parlor, it seemed that the lord had felt my friends' pain and were crying with us. we opened our umbrellas and made our way home.

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