i cant remember how many days have passed since i dropped my blog ......
these days,i feel unhappy,but boring....
maybe i prefer to make my life enrich,but im to lazy to enrich it...
all of  a sudden i feel im nobody,no outstanding credit in my study,no heart-to-heart friends in my university,no breathless boifri... haha,that is my  damn  meaningless life,no aim,no  path...     but im still proud,i try hard to keep my leftover dignity,and i wonder what the hell do i want! u are nothing in others eyes,why u still cannot drop your damn pride!
i have no idea about my behavīor...i turn up my nose at those too social,frippery people....but i know that is because i have no capability to be one of them......that is envy!

God damn! Anita! why dont u go to the hell to have a see before falling to the paradise!

i feel bad,i feel bad,i feel bad......

have to leave tomorrow,i dont want to forget everything..though,i have a really bad memory..

i video everywhere...in the campus....   not gonna sleep tonight.....i thought i would be fatter these days....eat many many many food....    buy some clothes today, sometimes,i dont know how this things happen in one month....it is so quickly...goodness....there is sth you always want it perfect,but things always happen betray ones will...i dont like it,everyone dont like it..someone choose to accept,but i dont want to accept the truth...so i always feel depressed....

anyway,gotta leave calgary...  anyway,ill miss everything..

today is wedesday....i go shopping instead of going classes,again....buy some cosmetics for my parents.
when i came back,we had a talk with each other.... ive got a complicated feeling....i dont know how to express my feelings,i m shy maybe...  i dont know how long will it be when we become fed up with each other,but i know there should be this day...im afraid of the coming of that day....really....
it is my pocket angel works?
i dont know...i d rather not...it hurts me a lot.
in the afternoon,i slept,and i dreamed of him,it is so upset when i woke up and realized that it was just a dream...
i realized love is not as fabulous as i thought...
we are struggling,what should we do?i have confidence in you,but i am inconfident about myself...sorry,im not a brave girl ,ever....

ive got used to hearing the sound horn of Panda car....and i enjoyed the sound of  racing car...
i dont wanna leave....i wanna stay with you...party every night,excting king game every night...

i found we lost a lot chances...i know your dillema...it is my fault...i was not brave enough...but i tried....sorry....

we didnt go to the boring classes this afternoon,instead,we ate a big dinner outside...RED LOBSTER......and NEVER EVER GO there,i personally think the food there are not delicious.....and EXPENSIVE!!!  then, we went Chinook again,to buy something for souvenir....
feel bad,really bad........i didnt get on line today,sorry.....i miss you...a lot...
gotta live in a few days....I DONT WANNA LEAVE CALGARY!!!!! that is my real heart....i have too many memories left in this city....and there are sth i wanna take away,sth even if i want,it cannot belong to me forever....i want to leave it here,but im not sure...it is a cruel thing to me ,and to him...because i think it is the perfect result....but i cannot do that without hesitation...
"when you gone,the pieces of my heart are missing you....."  whenever i heard this song,it is so hard for me not to be thinking of you,then cry out.....
i dont know why,maybe im kinda girl who are too easy to fall into some kina emotion,and i deadly confused what kinda emotion i was fell in....i 'm not sure about everything..... why im such an idiot!! i hate myself!

Goddamn!!!! how can i forget my passport!!!   shit!!!!!
we planned to watch the stripped show,but when we arrived the pub,the waitress actually said that i cannot get into the pub only by a copy!!!!   that is bullshit!!! i can use the copy to enter the other pubs!!!!!
then i gonna come back to bring my passport~~ but the damn bus made me wait for so lang time!!! when i come back i found i have no time to go there~~~ then, i gave up!!!
sssssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


in the daytime,we had classes of negotiating,market buzniz,sth like this......it is THAT boring!!!!!!
i miss my spanish fri. venesuela fri.......
i miss you guys so much!!!!! you all good people....

oh my!!!i even do the make-up for preparation!!!!!!  how can i be so unlucky!!!!!

i will watch a movie instead~~~