I stepped on the scale this morning and discovered I'd lost two more pounds. Only mumblety more to go. It doesn't sound like such a big deal, but for the past three years I've been totally frustrated with trying to lose the extra pounds. I'm not trying to brag here (Nothing to brag about!), but I think the reason for this weight loss is that I have given up soda. I was addicted to Coke Zero and drank anywhere from two to six (in very hot weather) cans a day. I haven't had even a sip in over a week, since last Wednesday. It's not the caffeine, either, because I've been drinking gallons of  tea. So giving up the soda was a ver good, and surprisingly simple change to make.

My other little change has been to spend less time on the computer. Now that the rainy season has arrived here in Oregon, that's going to be more of a challenge to maintain. Also, I can't point out how that's been beneficial to me. I have managed to complete some projects, but still nowhere near as many as I think I should have. Having ADD, of course, is part of the equation. I have never been organized and always have lots of uncompleted projects. I actually get to most of them, eventually. I'd just like to see a quicker turnover time for more of them. This little change wil require some more discipline before I see real results, I think.

My next little change is to schedule specific writing time. I think I should have about three hours minimum, five days a week. Then I need to discipline myself to do the writing -- and I don't mean blog writing. I have two novels that need a lot of work and I want to write more and better poetry. I haven't started this one, yet. I need to get to it.

I did manage to write a poem this week. I'm considering sending it in to one of the e-zines I read. I'm waiting to see if I get any useful feedback from my writing sites, first.

   I have been updating my library catalog and, although I keep my books cataloged  at LibraryThing, I am putting my CDs in their own catalog (not online). There are a few reasons this is a good thing for me to do.

   1. I'm getting all my CDs in one place. They've been scattered, mostly in this one room, but not where they belong.
   2. I'm getting everything on iTunes. I have a single disk CD player and I'm usually so involved in whatever I'm doing that I end up not listening to more than one CD. iTunes keeps playing.
   3. When I'm finished I'll have a list of everything easily at my fingertips so that I don't buy duplicates or (more likely) not get something because I think I have it and then find out I don't.

   My largest genre or grouping is classical music. It would be logical to assume that American and other English language singers would be the largest group in the pop/rock category, but that's not the case. Cantopop is the next largest group, along with a good number of Mandarin language CDs. Sadly, that collection is getting out of date... which means that I'll probably be looking for some new stuff -- which isn't sad at all!

   Anyway, teaching oneself Chinese by the "Jackie Chan method of language learning" (listening to the music) doesn't work for someone with ADD. I know quite a few phrases and I can tell the difference between Mandarin and Cantonese about 75% of the time, but even after nearly ten years, I don't know either Chinese language. As a result, I still know most songs only by what they sound like and maybe the album cover and/or track number, not by titles or meanings.

   iTunes is great about letting me put in the Chinese characters, but to help me find what I want, I decided I'd use BabelFish to get an approximate title for the songs. Actually some of them came out quite well. Some of the ones that seem odd to me are probably just differences in language (idioms and too literal a translation). Others are a result of using a machine to translate and make little sense.

   Hence the title of this entry. BabelFish insists on translating 日與夜 as "Japan and Night." My logic immediately tells me it should be "Day and Night." Looking it up, I see that 日 is "sun," not "day."  "Japan" is 日本 according to BabelFish and totally makes sense for "Land of the Rising Sun."  My dictionary doesn't have the word "Japan" or 日本  in it. Hmmm... Looking the title up both in my dictionary and online other than BabelFish, I see my instinct was right for "Day and Night."

   The song is too fast for my ears to catch the "yat yu ye" at this time. Eventually I will hear it, if it's in there. I remember when after the hundredth or so hearing of 無形鎖扣, I finally realized I was hearing "My heart, my hand....your heart, your hand." I screamed so loudly with excitement that I startled my husband who was driving at the time. We were lucky not to crash. LOL he appreciated my excitement, but asked me not to scream any more. Understandable. But it is so exciting to understand another language I haven't properly studied, even if it's only a word here and a phrase there.

Life is weird, but God is good! I have lived, not an uneventful life, but one mostly lacking in melodrama. This is not true of some of the people closest to me. I won't go into details, because it is his life, not mine, but my son has had a very melodramatic adult life (6 years). This past week all I could do was pray for him, and pray I did! At one point I was all set to take action and drag him from Denver back to Salem, but was strongly advised not to. I bit my lip and restrained myself... and prayed more for him. Tonight he called and asked to come back home!!

I know that "they" (those unnamed people referred to so often) are tired of seeing their adult children come home, but I'm not. I know that right now it's the best place for him. The fact that he sees that himself also means that now he can begin to do what he needs to do to get rid of the melodrama. Melodrama can be, often is, interesting, but it's also stressful, often painful, and usually a total detour from getting on with one's life. Sometimes you can't help it, but it's always best to keep it to a minimum, if possible.

He told me that he believes my purpose in life, at least these past years, has been to be there for him. I'm his rock. I hope that by being such for him I can help him find my Rock, as well. Anyway, it's very nice to be appreciated.

It was hard to focus on the outcome I wanted this past week. It was hard to focus on anything. I certainly didn't come close to achieving that clarity... except a few times. The peace of those brief times was indescribable, and was motivation to keep trying when I lost focus. What I see now is not the fruit of that focus, but the flower, or perhaps just the bud. The fruit is yet to come and I'm pretty sure I will need to regain focus again several times before then. But God is good and he will help me to redirect my thoughts, when they stray. He always has.

I don't often talk about my faith, but I have been blessed with a strong faith. I remember searching for God even when I was a child. I found him when I was in college. (No, he didn't find me. He never lost me!) I remember many nights walking around campus and town with Jesus, talking to him. Over the years, I seem to have lost that ability to see and hear his presence in that all but physical way, but I know he's still here. If I can't sense his presence at all, it's because I've wandered off. He's right behind me, then.


EDIT: Because, DUH! I forgot to mention that I will be away and unlikely to be online for the next couple of weeks. I was starting to catch up on my subs, but I'm just going to get more behind. When I get back I will try too keep up, but I don't klnow if I can catch up.

© Copyright 2006 Airycat =^..^=

Hello, Darkness.
My old friend has
brought me here to
you, again. Night
of my soul claims
my daylight hours.
Not even moon
light enters now.

Hello, Darkness.
My old friend left
me here with you,
for only you will
reach inside, fill
my lonely hours.
Your emptiness,
all I have now.

Hello, Darkness.
My old friend knows
you will give me
answers to my
questions asked in
my pain filled hours.
I need to know.
Please, tell me. Now.

Hello, Darkness.
My old friend has
lied again. There
are no answers.
Inside this hollow
core pass the hours.
If breathing stops
is there peace, now?

© Copyright 2006 F.Shafer Junaid