May 2nd is usually considered to be my birthday, but it is not exactly that day.
When I was young, my parents told me that I was “picked up” from the roadside, and before they “picked me up”, my “legal guardian” was depicted by my parents as an ugly old man. Bad-tempered, and being an alcoholic, he would abuse me whenever he got drunk. I was supposed to be sent back to this imaginary man if I cried all day long. So each time I cried without being sent to that old man, I felt I was blessed. I really like this explanation of my coming to this world. If your child ask you, “where am I from?” What would you say? You tell him/her what is sperm, what is egg, and how the two combine…… You will spoil a supposedly good story by telling him the truth.
I still remember that chilly winter afternoon when a heavy snow had just stopped and everything was covered by snow. I played alone on a slope near my village, hands red and shoes wet, I happily enjoyed myself in the snow. I was about 8 or 9 years old then, so it seems that I have been able to appreciate solitude and really enjoy it since I was very young.
I had a beloved dog that had accompanied me during almost my whole childhood period. I grew up, it grew old. I told it many of my childhood secrets which could be shared with nobody but only my dog. It was a little black dog, I lost it when I was 15.
4 or 5, almost every night I dreamed of ferocious dragons and monsters and vampires. I was really frightened by those terrible nightmares. I would wake up and ask my mother,“what’s the time now?” or “how soon will the sun come out?” My mother would reply, “ it’s still very early now, just go on sleeping.” Then I would be so disappointed to hear that, but my sleepiness would soon overcome my fear and again I would dream of ferocious dragons and monsters and vampires……
童年鎖憶
通常我的生日被認為是5月2日，但其實并不是那天。
小時候，我父母告訴我說，我是從路邊“撿”來的。在我被“撿”來以前，我的看護人被描繪成一個既丑又老的傢伙，脾氣壞，還是個酒鬼，一喝醉就會打我。如果我整天哭個不停，我就會被送回給這個虛構的惡人。所以，每次我哭完並且發現沒有被送人，我就會感到受到了莫大福佑。我真的很喜歡這種我如何來到這世界的解釋。如果你的孩子問你，“我從哪裡來？”你會怎么說？你告訴他/她什麽是精子，什麽是卵細胞，二者如何結合……你會毀了一個原本應該美好的故事。
我仍然記得那個寒冷的冬天的下午。大雪初霽，萬物都被雪所覆蓋。我一個人在村邊的一個土坡上玩耍，手凍紅了，鞋子濕了，我在雪中卻能自得其樂。那時候我才八九歲吧，所以似乎我從很小的時候就學會了品味孤獨，并深深地喜歡上它。
我有一只心愛的小狗，一直陪伴了幾乎我的整個童年。我不斷長大，它卻一天天地衰老。我把很多童年的秘密都告訴給它，那些秘密和旁人都不能說，只能對我的狗狗講了。那是一隻黑色的小狗，我在十五歲的時候失去了它。
四五歲的時候，幾乎每天晚上我都會夢見可怕的龍，怪物和吸血鬼。我實在被這些可怕的夢魘嚇壞了。我就醒來，問我媽媽，“現在幾點了？”或者“還有多久太陽才出來呀？”我媽回答：“還早呢，睡覺吧。”我就會很失望。但不久睡意就會戰勝懼意，我再一次夢見可怕的龍，怪物和吸血鬼…… 8/15
