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새해 福 만이 받으세요~

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Sunday, Jan 4, 2009 10:31PM / Standard Entry / Members only

Yes, another new year. And yes, it's that time of the year where I feel obliged do some 打掃 inside and out.

I was just putting together a list of things to do be done now and in the next few months. Do you know what is at the bottom of my list? 就是交男朋友 ^^"""""

I realised that there is so much I want to do before I get a bf! Oh dear, not sure if that is a good or bad thing?!

So much to be done...at the moment 24 is the total.

And also my brother asked me if I want to go with him to Europe next month ~ excited! But not sure whether to go or not. Of course there is all the good stuff about travelling and experiencing the culture...BUT:

1) I will be using up all of my annual leave,

2) there is so much I need to do before I go,

3) I want to read up on Europe before I visit and learn a few handy phrases (I always think it's a must when you're travelling to a foreign country),

4) deciding whether I want to spend $5000+ for the trip or save up even more for my planned 6 month student exchange when I start my new course; OR save up even more for another Asia holiday.

I must admit, with my thriftiness I can afford to go to Europe and still have enough money for everything else.

I kinda feel greedy now -_-...won't go down well on my list I just made >.<

So many decisions while time is running farther and farther away.

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무서운 악몽

Saturday, Dec 27, 2008 11:21AM / Standard Entry / Members only

Had a horrible dream this morning. It was about my four year old niece. Last year my niece fell ill and had to go to the hospital. It turned out that she had encephalitis but thankfully wasn't too serious ~ I mean you can die from encephalitis! Luckily she only got some "small" changes like she falls down a lot more and has rapid mood swings. Apart from that she is a pretty normal girl.

But in this dream I was working in the hospital and I heard some news that a little girl was in a serious condition. For some reason I went to see her with my sister but we didn't know who this girl was until we walked in and saw her ~ it was such a shock! She had cuts on her head and looked very frail. I was so scared! Then later in the dream I saw my niece walking around still in her frail state and she suddenly fell down and hit her head! I was truly terrified that she would die!

Erin, why are you haunting me?

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새벽에

Wednesday, Dec 24, 2008 11:30AM / Standard Entry / Members only

당신이 잠든 사이에...새벽이다!

새벽달 봐요?

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남자...

Saturday, Dec 20, 2008 10:58PM / Standard Entry / Members only

I almost forgot how rude 한국 남자 can be -_- I'm sorry to have to categorise them but I feel inclined to when I come across these types more than once. I don't mean they are all like this, only that I have met too many for my liking.

Tonight at work there was this table of two of these guys who I had to take their orders for. One guy asked for kimchee chicken. When I told him we don't have it, obviously because we are a Japanese restaurant NOT a Korean one, he kept insisting to have it. He asked me to ask my boss so I did because I thought A might know them and could maybe do a special request. But when I asked A she said we can't do it. She didn't want to talk to them so V had to go talk to him to convince them we couldn't do it. OMG, the nerve the guy had ~ then he started to flirt with me, asking my name and then saying 你好.

Makes me wonder...is this a difference of culture? Do they just have a different sense of humour? Maybe my tolerance for rude people has just decreased.

Anyway, I'm on the verge of doing something very big. Just waiting for the right opportunity ~ feeling excited and scared! It's something that girls are not supposed to initiate!

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顫抖

Sunday, Dec 14, 2008 10:07PM / Standard Entry / Members only

OMG ~ I think I just gave my worst violin performance ever! But given the circumstances, I shouldn't have expected anything better. Last night I got a call to play violin for someone's anniversary. Talk about last minute ~ I only had today to pretty much learn and practice the piece. Actually when it came time to perform the only thing I was worrying about was the inevitable shaking bow arm. It's my worst nightmare and probably every violinists worst nightmare. I knew it was coming but there was not much I could do. They say that you shouldn't play the actual piece on the day of performance...but I couldn't exactly do that because this was a new piece.

What a bad combination ~ new piece, little practice, little preparation, unfamiliar stage. I started off pretty bad too ~ I forgot what key I was in! The most basic thing! That's probably why I kept thinking this doesn't sound right even though I was following the music. Also I didn't wear my glasses so I couldn't see the music clearly. I'd rather make a mistake from getting too lost in the music rather than thinking "what the hell am I playing, it doesn't sound right at all".

Should I have not agreed to play tonight? It's been too long since I last really played the violin. But somehow this experience has given me a little motivation to take up violin lessons again. My dream is to do a good violin performance without any shaking bow arm. That's not too much to ask for is it?

They say every performance has something good no matter how bad you think it was. I really want to know what that is.

Just before I went out on the stage 陳阿姨跟我說 "交給上天了"...but the moment she said that, I knew I was screwed. I have done too many horrible things lately that I knew myself that I didn't deserve any good performance. So now, I think I want to turn over a new leaf. I know it can't happen over night but I can do a little bit more each day to neutralize all the bad karma I have accumulated. Easier said than done, but at least I have finally realised (again) what I must do and need to do. There is so much of me to change. There is still time to change. There is always time.

The first thing I want is to be more likeable. That starts with being selfless.

Baby steps~

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